[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]
“Hi… yeeeeeeah, look, I know, okay? I know my new movie The Wedding Date looks like the bastard cousin of My Best Friend’s Wedding, what with the shenanigans and the Dermot Mulroney and the redheaded star. And I know Julia Roberts would never be caught dead in this dress, okay? I know. I know it makes me look like a governess, or maybe a governess who got invited to the prom. But, see, all I hear about myself lately is that I’m a bitch, right? And what makes a woman more likable than a good pregnancy rumor? So shut up about me being a cow whom the other three on the show don’t talk to, and start writing about how huge this dress makes me look. Babies are PR gold, bitches, so I’m going to grit my teeth, plaster this tight smile on my face, and rumor my way back into everyone’s good graces. I’ll even write the headline: “MESSING DRESSING TO HIDE BUMP?” Good, yes? In sum: I’M NICE AND I’M SOOOO HAPPY, AND WHAT IS MY DRESS HIDING?
“And if rumors don’t work, I’ll just make like I’m on Passions, kidnap my pregnant archnemesis, throw her in a well, and torment her with visions of clowns until she gives birth and I can pass off her baby as my own. All the baby benefits, but none of the stretch marks! Whee!”
@LBardugo it's cold today, but seriously not that bad. Rest of the week will be 40s. 50 on Wed! Totally doable - J
Fug Night
Okay, who let Lil’ Kim design a prom dress?
This is, apparently, an actual dress, made by a Texas company that has advertised it successfully in teen magazines like YM and Seventeen. And the model is not, apparently, wearing it backwards.
Now, I would maybe expect to see something like this on The O.C., just because if any show is likely to have a complete break with fashion reality, that is the one. But … really? This guy has actually sold some of these. If I had come down the stairs in that thing, my father would have locked me inside the house, burned all my clothes, and replaced them with billowing muumuus — if he was able to retain hold of his consciousness.
What is wrong with people? It’s a school dance. Do you really want your geometry teacher to know the exact diameter of your breasts? Are you really that interested in rendering your English teacher speechless, or perhaps reducing him/her to speaking in tongues? Are you this hell-bent on becoming a stripper?
Sweet God. To quote my esteemed colleague Jessica, “I need to lie down.”
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