She tried hard to look the part, but producers wanted someone less publicly accomplished in fellatio to play Daisy Duke. Depressed, Chloe went on a bender, finally waking up on the beach one morning next to a nude, malodorous homeless man and thinking, “Well, I always swore that the next time I saw Vincent Gallo naked, I would know it was time to go back home.” And off she went.
Monthly Archives: January 2005
Fug Mountain
Until finding this photo, I didn’t realize that all this time, Nicole Kidman has secretly wanted to kill us all and drink our sweet, sweet blood:
[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]
The eye makeup… the psychotic look in her eyes… the hint of a smile… Dating Steve Bing must’ve given her The Evil. She’s coming for you, mark my words. Buy garlic.
Fug file: Uncategorized, Nicole Kidman
2005 Golden Globes: Mary-Louise Parker
This year, Mary-Louise didn’t have the benefit of being fresh off the birthing table before accepting her award. To compensate, she chose a dress that would shimmer right over her womb and bunch at its emergency-exit hatch, reminding everyone about her incredible courage in the face of the three C’s: childbirth, Crudup, and Claire. “Yes, Virginia,” she would say, admiring herself in the mirror, “I do have a working vagina.”
Does anyone else think that Adam Duritz looks like a Rastafarian Dan Ackroyd?
Fug file: Awards & Galas, Golden Globes, Mary Louise Parker
2005 Golden Globes: Natalie Portman
There’s no more graceful way to say it, so I’ll just blurt it out: What the hell is this?
Perhaps it’s her Halloween costume from the legendary time she went as a dust ruffle. Or maybe Scarlett O’Hara ran off with the dress that’s supposed to go over the petticoat, leaving poor Natalie with no option but to go as she was, dressed like a child bride on her wedding night.
Even Ms. Portman apparently knew she’d fugged it up bigtime: For most of the night after her win for Closer, she was wearing someone’s suit jacket over this bizarre wifebeater-turned-sundress. That gives us some hope.
Fug file: Awards & Galas, Golden Globes, wearing white, Natalie Portman
2005 Golden Globes: Diane Kruger
Modeling the latest from the Sears Designer Shower Curtain Collection…
… Diane Kruger.
Fug file: Awards & Galas, WTF, Golden Globes, household objects, Diane Kruger
@WowYouWoreThat aw! I love hearing that. - J
Goodbye, Fug: PARIS HILTON?
Look, no one is more surprised than I am:
Someone’s been taking lessons from Nicole “Girl, I Left The Fug Last Year And Haven’t Ever Looked Back” Ritchie. Paris looks so…sweet. Wholesome. Cute. Well-coiffed. Nicely shod. I can’t even see her vagina.
If this keeps up, I’m going to be out of a job.
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