(1) SOLANGE vs. (16) DRUNKFACE MCCORD
Solange has truly burst onto the fug scene this year. Kind of like a hurricane. A hurricane of feathers and ruffles and drama and the need for attention:
OH YES SHE DID. And she did SO MUCH ELSE this year. She dabbled in bizarre eye makeup. She explored wearing the top half of an ostrich. She explored wearing an entire ostrich. She pranced around wearing fetlocks for shoes. She…I don’t even know what you’d call this.IS there a feathered or hairy creature whose hide she has not co-opted? Riddle me that.
Her competitor is not immune to the lures of the flesh and the feather:
Not even drunkenness can excuse this. On the other hand, Drunkface here might argue that what better accessory for her drunkface than a Streetwalker Outfit? Or these hideous tights? Or her terrible acting on 90210? Or Streetwalker II: Streetwalker’s Revenge? Or — this argument is multi-faceted — THIS? OMG I FORGOT THAT EXISTED. (Sure, it was a costume. But still. Did you want to go through the weekend without seeing that one more time?)
(8) JESSICA SIMPSON vs. (9) SHARON STONE
J. Simp has gotten so depressing:
[Photo: Splash News]
I mean.that is bad. That is REALLY REALLY UNFLATTERING. The front is almost as bad:
[Photo: Splash News]
DUDE. Why isn’t anyone HELPING HER? She should NEVER HAVE WORN THAT. It’s nearly as bad as the Infamous High-Waisted Jeans Heard Round the World. I’d argue that it’s worse than the I HAVE TO WEAR SHORTS shorts (while, actually, I think someone should point out to her that her single from Dukes of Hazzard was not some dumb-ass song about Daisy Dukes, but, in fact, “These Boots Are Made for Walking,” so maybe she should retire the SHORTS and wear SOME BOOTS.) And it’s neck and neck with this excruciating display. I am about ten minutes away from calling Joe Simpson and offering to take her shopping. WON’T SOMEONE STEP IN?
In fact, I bet Sharon Stone could help:
Okay, maybe not in that outfit. Or this one, for that matter. Yikes, or this one. Maybe this one, if we decided we could deal with seeing J Simp’s nips. I…don’t know if I can sign off on that. Never mind. Maybe this is like the blind leading the blind.
(5) VICTORIA “POSH” BECKHAM vs. (12) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
Posh here was, as you may recall, the runner-up in last season’s tournament. This year, by virtue of the fact that she has seemed marginally less CRAZY, she’s been downgraded to a still quite-formidable five seed. And why not, with efforts like this one?
[Photo: Splash News]
She is amazing. Who wears latex ON A PLANE? You’re correct: someone who is both crazy and maybe a little awesome. Ditto someone who would even attempt these mothers. I am at a loss as to how she even transported herself from car to door in those things, but perhaps Becks was of use. I also am at a loss as to how she could possibly have worn this dress with the furry bathmat for a back without constantly contorting herself so as to caress her own shoulders all the time. And then there’s the quasi-nudity (SFW). You have to admit, the girl makes an effort.
And then there’s Keira:
[Photo: Splash News]
Oh, sweetie. Cheer up! How bad can it be? At least you’re not wearing your Granny Suit. Or your Jammie Jumpsuit! Or THIS THING, which was technically not your fault, but I had to mention it once more because of how CRAZY it was. I mean, should you not have had the self-possession to ask someone WTF they were doing to your hair? Sweet child, you have to learn to speak up for yourself!
(4) JOAQUIN PHOENIX vs. (13) SARAH SILVERMAN
So, HE took an unfortunate turn:
Speaking of someone who’s reasonably attractive but tends to go out looking like she lost a bet:
Comments (147):
Every bracket seems to have a theme, no?
Madonna bracket – I’m sad and washed up (okay, except for KKnightley).
And I feel like a good competition would have been Solange again JSimp. Who dresses you worst — Your Mama or Your Daddy?? Ha ha ha!
Whoa. J Simp. That was…wow.
I don’t think I realized that Jessica Simpson had devolved so bad. I think I’ve seen those culotte jumpsuit shortie things on my grandma
I voted for Joaquin because he seems like such a douche bag.
I’m so afraid of what lives in Joaquin’s beard. I have a feeling he’s going to pop up in 5 years and be all “and you know when you guys called me out on that fake rap career? you were right!!” and we’re all going to be like… hm. Who are you again? Just drop it already…
j simp’s clothes could be cute if they were size appropriate, where as Sharon Stone is a wackjob of the highest order! Sarah Silverman makes bad choices, but not with the malice of Joaquin’s face.
Rapid Beaver CANNOT lose to JSimp! Pathetic/depressed does NOT get a pass here at GFY, only true cutthroat Fug does, and that, my friends is the Rapid Beaver Fug.
Mother of God, click that last Drunkface link before you vote. It’s stunning.
That was HARD! Solange and Drunkface are cut from the same cloth, as it were, or should I say feathers. I had to go with Drunkface, though, when I got to the I Dream of Wienie get-up.
Posh still dazzles, as does The Stone–all those boob shots at the Oscar party was six shades of crazy.
Keep ‘em comin’, girls, this is fab fug!
Oh, not so hard on posh, at least her clothes fit and look flattering to her angular face and frame, unlike many of the fug persuasion
WHAT???!!!?!? I almost had a heart attack seeing Silverman’s scores almost as high as Ratbeard Phoenix!!! How can this be??? He wore an EZ COMB, for the love of all things dirty and matted and smelling of fungus!!! Please, my heart can’t go on if Silverman beats him. Have mercy!!!
Geeze, Solange wins that hands down. She and Beyonce both need to STOP LETTING MOMMY OUTFIT THEM WITH HER “CLOTHING” LINE!!!!! STOP…just.stop. Oh J.Simp. you need to stop listening to Daddy and start making your own decisions on what to wear. Anything you’ve worn to the AIRPORT is less FUGLY than anything you’ve worn on stage in recent months. Keira is boring….zzzzzzzzzz….. And the finaly bracket was HARD! Hmmm…joaquin “hi, i’m pulling one over on the public…and they KNOW it…but not really” phoenix or Sarah Silverman who has always been “quirky”. Joaquin wins. He looks like a serial killer. and although i’m sure this is just one big publicity stunt in which he is re-making a VERY HORRIBLE version of Spinal Tap, what he is doing there is just no excuse for. I’ve heard he’s always been kinda a d-bag…but this is lame. boooo…….
Jen310
Oh, my. This was set was a little difficult.
Not Solange taking the prize. That was easy. How many exotic creatures and muppets had to die for her to come out of her sister’s sizable fug shadow. Yeah, Solonage easily wins this one.
I went with Stone because I love her crazy fug and I find J. Simp just tragic and not so much fug. Apparently, I one of the only ones though.
Posh brings her own brand of high style fug that Keira cannot yet compete with but she is trying, God bless her.
The hardest match up was Joaquin and Sarah. But I am so bored with Joaquin that he no longer registers on my fug meter. Silverman’s fug is like “Look at me! I’m cute but I wear wacky clothes” and that is a greater sin in my fug book. Especially because I imagine Joaquin will shave his beard and return to normal while I think Sarah will remain the same. Fug advantage – Silverman.
I might have just decided that I want Solange to win the whole shebang. Her fug is truly inspired.
Man. The second half of Round One was surprisingly tough, y’all.
Solange v. Drunkface: Advantage Solange, but at this rate Drunkface’ll get a higher seed in 2010 for SURE.
Simpson v. Stone: I voted for Stone, but… yeah, I can see why Simp is winning. Girl needs an intervention, she’s barely a shadow of her old self.
Becks v. Knightley: Pfft. This one was easy – they both need to eat and are kind of insufferable, but Posh just does it BIGGER. Go big or go home.
Phoenix v. Silverman: Wow. Hard. But oddly, I have a harder time with the Man-Fugs. I almost feel they need their own single bracket, rather than spreading them like greasy peanut butter through our chocolate of already questionable quality. Silverman gets my vote here.
This is too good. I can’t believe someone forced me to not vote for Posh.
I’m sorry, J Sim cannot beat out Sharon Stone! Jessica just needs to learn how to cover her now slightly more boodilicious body, but Sharon is insane! And I’m still not sure if Jouquin is actually insane, and I can’t support fugging a crazy man.
Kiera, Kiera, Kiera- I’m sick and tired of all of these attractive, young actresses dressing in junk my grnadma (the scary overweight one)wouldn’t wear! The baggy silky jumpsuit thing??? I understand comfort, but could you at least try??? If i was making an appearance on a show to promote a movie, i might actually try to dress in something flattering- I just don’t get it!!! ARGHHHHHH!!!!!
J Simp, wow. Just WOW.
I have a girl crush on Posh, sorry KK.
Does anyone else feel a little bit like pitting K Knightly against Posh is kind of like feeding a kitten to a boa constrictor?
I love Posh. I LOVE HER. And so I am torn – do I vote for her, and thus keep her around longer? OR do I vote against her and defend her honor. Of course, a vote against Posh-of-my-heart is a vote for Keira Knightley, who I loathe with every fiber of my soul. Teeth like tombstones, people, and completely incapable of dressing to flatter her body. Yes, she’s small up top. WE KNOW. She is also long of leg, swanny of neck, and tall as heck, so why can’t she shove a couple of chicken cutlets in her clothes so they fit right? GOD SHE IS ANNOYING.
I can’t do it. I can’t support more Keira on my Google Reader. POSH IN 2009, BABY. That’s what I want, what I really really want.
(Jessica Simpson just makes me sad. Girlfriend needs a girlfriend.)
I simply cannot vote for Posh, for the same reason I could not vote SWINTON. I so love, adore, am crazy about their fug that it ceases to be fug and becomes fab. They can do no wrong. They are simply glorious to behold.
Posh. Wearing a whole fox. Seriously. ugh. I love her crazy factor, but I’m so squicked by fur.
For something truly terrifying, we could shave Joaquin and make something of what’s leftover, no?
Wow . . . there was a whole lot of fug up in this bracket.
Solange – bfwdbfjwjfknewuy549382 (the sound of my forehead hitting the keyboard as a result of fainting from fug)
JSimp – so sad honey.
Posh – seriously ridiculously good looking fug
SSilverman – When did we graduate high school?
Wow… that hooker genie costume Drunkface is wearing makes her look like she could play Liz Berkley’s younger sister in Showgirls II: Even Cheesier and Slutter Than Before.
Solange v. Drunkface nearly broke my brain. I voted for Drunkface, because we already know Solange had no chance of growing up to be a sanely dressed human being. Between her sister and their mother (who was, if you remember, responsible for designing some of Beyonce’s monstrosities)…girl had no chance.
DRUNKFACE FOR THE UPSET!
Also, I refuse to vote for Joaquin simply because I don’t want to be the recipient of a big “I TOLD YOU SO” when we all find out he’s been faking it.
Silverman always comes across as being ridiculously pleased with herself – “I’m a GIRL in the BOY’S CLUB!” Whatever, you look ridiculous. Joaquim comes from a wackadoo family, plus I still miss River, so Sarah, you win the fug competition in my browser. Go away. Go Go Go AWAY.
Such is the power of this glorious blog that I no longer remember Drunkface’s real name. Regardless, there’s no stopping the juggernaut that is Solange.
And there is no voting against Joaquin. It’s one thing to dress like your meds haven’t been adjusted for a while. It’s another thing entirely to decide you no longer have to be gracious when appearing on someone else’s show. As a guest. When thousands of other actors would sell their own mothers’ kidneys to be there. Fugliness of soul always wins.
you saw the Joaquin hairstyle, no?
http://blogue.us/2009/03/06/the-ez-comb-gets-some-free-press/
*scroll a bit*
Oh man, tough choice between Phoenix and Silverman. Both are clearly intentionally walking whackadoo street but I’m going to have to vote for the who looks crazy AND unclean over the one who may simply be the tragic, tragic victim of colour (and, erm, pattern?) blindness.
Those heel-less boots of POSHNESS are, hands-down, the best thing I have ever seen on here. DEFINITION of fug.
I have to say, I feel the fug of Posh was really underplayed in this round. She can be so much crazier, especially compared to Keira, but everything in this match-up was so tame.
BRING ON THE CRAZY!
Solange v. Drunkface was hard for me…
in the end, i had to go with drunkface.
look, i know solange’s “outfits” are WAY more unfortunate…but i feel she knows at least a little bit that she looks ridic., whereas drunkface on the other hand…she looks like she actually believes she looks great.
I’ve got Solange v. GaGa for the win, with Solange winning.
J. Simp gets a pass from me because I adore her attitude on life and I feel bad about her horrible choice in pants and the scrutiny it brought her. Plus, Sharon wears rats’ feet on her gowns.
In general, I can’t vote for SWINTON because I personally find her style, while fug, incredibly editorial-worthy most of the time (see Oscars 09). So…Solange for the win.
Posh is the most amazing woman ever (and I secretly think her dress collection is incredibl!).
I think Vincent Gallo is leering creepily down at me from an H&M billboard. Every morning, as I walk to the subway, there he is.
In case you were serious about wanting to know where he is.
This may have been the most difficult part of the Madonna Bracket. Phew, I feel exhausted from deciding whose Fug was worse! Those were some close votes. I really feel like JSimp has gone downhill, and truly I want to take her home and dress her.
I just couldn’t vote for Joaquin. It’s not nice to make fun of the mentally ill.
Solange vs Drunkface – Solange. She’s amazingly weird.
Sharon vs Jessica – I picked poor Jessica, and I’m having flashbacks to poor Delta Burke. La Stone is crazy fabulous, and I cannot fug her.
Posh vs Keira – Went with Keira because of the extreme dowdy factor. Posh is working it here, while Keira looks like a rest home refugee.
Joaquin vs Sarah – I picked Sarah because she thinks she’s being clever in her clothing choices. She’s making some kind of hipster statement – NOT!
I’d make the case that simply looking horrible all the time (Joaquin Phoenix), but always the same horrible, is not true fugliness. True fugliness requires a variety of horrible choices. Vote Sarah!
(1) SOLANGE vs. (16) DRUNKFACE MCCORD
Solange, it’s Jim Henson’s CREATURE Shop, not Jim Henson’s COUTURE Shop. Damn, girl, get yourself an ear-horn.
(8) JESSICA SIMPSON vs. (9) SHARON STONE
I had to pray on this one. The Mom Pants Heard ‘Round The World, or SHARON STONE(‘s nipples)? Insipid or Whackadoo? Mmmmmmmm, STONE takes it, by a cougar hair.
(5) VICTORIA “POSH” BECKHAM vs. (12) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
Blanche Devereaux would shank Posh for that translucent bed coat. The same cannot be said of Kiera’s granny suit. Therefore, and I can’t believe I’m typing this, but Kiera’s fug wins.
(4) JOAQUIN PHOENIX vs. (13) SARAH SILVERMAN
If Joaquin was just looking for an excuse to go all Grizzly Adams he should have said he was quitting acting to play the whiskey jug in a hillbilly band. THEN I might have believed him.
Solange. Hmmm. Unlike her sister-who-shall-remain-nameless, Solange is not a child of the House of Dereon, she tends to visit the House of Deranged. Drunkface can’t compete with that kind of crazy.
SOLANGE: FTW
Jessica Simpson needs whoever is working the Britney turnaround and dress her up, or at least cover her up. We all have those items that “might fit again” in our closets – she needs to visit the OTHER closet. Sharon Stone is gorgeously, madly, fabulously crazy and should win for her wide array of WTF ensembles, but I have to give this to JSimp.
SIMPSON: FTW
Posh hangs with Herr Lagerfeld and other major fashionistas, but she rarely pulls off a look without us snickering (mostly because she is a stick figure in tulle and feathers.) Kiera is 1) starving 2) pouty and; 3) misses the mark most of the time (see “skirt as dress” above.) Knightly should win, but it looks like the crowd is favoring Posh. Nevertheless – KNIGHTLEY: FTW
Wow – Silverman v. Phoenix bracket is the most difficult thus far. Joaquin’s current hermit/rapper/stoner phase is pretty generic. Sarah Silverman has caused me to pull my own hair out in clumps by appearing on the red carpet in what the rest of us would call “Saturday house cleaning” clothes. Thusly, SILVERMAN: FTW
Respectfully submitted,
-Magno
i cannot wait for SWINTON vs SOLANGE…let us all make it so…also sharon stone is not beating j simp? shame on all of you…she needs to face off against lisa rinna and stomp her with her superior crotch antics
I can’t believe Joaquin Pheonix is even giving Silverman a run for the money. Is he FUG? My God, yes, he’s fug. But he’s fug because of a beard and some crazy behavior. Silverman, meanwhile, strives so hard for her truly off-putting fug — you just know she spends HOURS putting that crap together and then steps out SO PLEASED with her ridiculous-looking self. She is the definition of fug to me. She definitely needs to make it to the next round!
Posh is full of crazy awesomeness. She’s got her own brand of style and she knows exactly what she’s doing and she doesn’t care about us earthlings. Keira just looks skinny, vaguely dirty, pouty, and slouchy no matter what she wears–her style is incoherent, and by incoherent, I mean, “often makes her look like a homeless 12 year old boy.” VOTE KEIRA!
many, many spit takes ladies. what a Fugly Friday!!
Does anyone else think that Keira Knightley is starting to look like Karen Carpenter? Scary.
I agree that Joaquin is putting on a performance, which makes his hair, beard and clothing part of the costuming for the “part” he is playing – which, while wacky, isn’t true fug.
Joaquin vs. Sarah Silverman was a tough choice, but Phoenix’s horrendous facial hair is really, really disconcerting. Seriously. Okay, Silverman is sloppy and whatever, but that BEARD?!
Holy crap….and I mean that in so many many ways. And I thought last year was tough! Solange VS Drunkface? I think I passed out just trying to weigh the fug!
Man, Drunkface should not have been seeded 16th!!!!! She stands no change against Solange, but I’d say she is fuglier thatn Aubrey, Micha and Swinton who are all seeded 1.
Were she up against anybody else Drunkface would have won, but Solange….woa
Jaoquin vs Silverman – I have always found her annoying, and she has always dressed like a lumberjack or white rapper. So I guess I voted for him becuase he used to do better and now falls back.
I find my sense of fug continues to be honed and developed. Joaquin, in my definition, is full on “ugly” whereas Sarah is trying for something and ending up spectacularly wrong and “fugly.” You have to bring some worth to the table to be fug.
Ahhhhh. This was the most entertaining line-up of them all.
Solange needs an intervention. She has a problem and the birds of this world are paying for it.
Jessica makes me sad. ‘Nough Said.
Posh’s fugliness is wonderful and glorious.
And, although Joaquin may be “cracking up”, he does it in a very sane-looking way — When compared to SARAH!!!
Yep. I feel bad about the media hounding Jessica Simpson about her weight, which I feel is totally uncalled for. Therefore I could not voter for her fugliness! Posh – when looking back – is amazingly low-key this year! Wow. Also, I’m interested to see the Silverman/Pheonix match-up play out… how competitive!
PS – Does anybody have any details on those famous Posh shoes? Seriously a friend and I have been debating them since that post first came out. She says they have a flat piece of metal the extends under wear the heal should be for balance, I say Posh is just walking on tiptoes all night, which is way she is awesome and got my vote!!!!
Solange – Yes, the ones you featured were all over the place crazy, but you failed to include the #1 Solange Fug: Her clydesdale boots. Those alone were the reason I picked her.
Jessica – I picked “poor ol’ J. Simp” because this girl used to wear some pretty cute things (which is a lot coming from me – I am an avid anti-Jessica person) and, like the Fug Girls pointed out, SHE CANNOT SEEM TO EVER CLOSE HER DAMN MOUTH! And I hate that I always have to look at her giant horse teeth because of it.
Keira – Keira is smug and I just want to slap her.
Joaquin – I like my guy scruffy, but I’m worried a rabid raccoon might jump out of his beard at any moment.
Dear Joaquin,
The razors are in aisle 6 at CVS. Please purchase one (with safety wire- just. in. case.) & quit it. You are not fooling anyone.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Me
PS: You just cheated Silverman out of my well-deserved vote, so you have that to account for too.
I love you, Ladies o’ the Fug. This is the best time I’ve had on the internet in AGES.
Are you guys gonna post an updated bracket after the scores are in?
Also, this is the most fun I’ve had in awhile. Not entirely sure how I feel about that…
Solange and Drunkface? To be fair with both the fuggers it has to be a big TIE.
Posh’s Fug is not the same as Keira’s fug, y’all. Here’s the thing. I voted for Keira because she has made the mistake (more than once) of doing something Posh would NEVER, EVER, EVER do, and that is donning something ill-fitting. Say what you like about VBecks, but she is not about to wear something that doesn’t show the results of sucking on green tea bags exclusively for nourishment. That girl’s clothes fit like a glove, yo. And Keira is just all over the place, like she doesn’t even know what she looks like to the world at large, and is just amusing herself.
Similarly, there is really no contest for me in the Joaquin vs. Silverman department. Why? Because Joaquin is just some dumb guy, and his clothes are not really bad, just not really befitting a celebrity. It’s just his hair you’re mad at, really, and that’s not enough to win over a perfectly nice looking girl dressing both unflatteringly and inappropriately for any number of occasions. Silverman should win this, but I guess that Beard has real fug star power.
I love Posh. To me, she the POSH, kind of like the SWINTON. She works it, baby.
Crazy-man Joaquin? He’s got facial fug, but really, a dude has to reach a whole ‘nother level of Crazy to outfug the ladies.
Are you SURE these matchups are random? I’m exhausted.
Solange’s resume of fug clearly gets her the job. Casual to formal, girl is plain wacky all the time.
Couldn’t do it to J. Simp…her clothes are unflattering, Sharon’s are CRAZY!
Posh is fashion and Keira is frumpy. I’d rather fug the frump.
And Joaquin? He can’t comb or shave but the clothes aren’t as bad as Sarah’s.
I love Fug Madness!!
Come on, Phoenix is either mentally ill or essentially in costume (my money’s on the latter). Meanwhile, Sarah Silverman’s fug is the worst sort: not inspired or self-aware, but also not boring or lazy. Also a little too pleased with itself. She must be stopped.
In other news…
Solange FTW!
This is too good. I can’t believe someone forced me to not vote for Posh.
You know, I was all set to vote for Solange, and I did, but that last outfit on Drunkface McCord really threw me for a loop.
I had to go with Sharon Stone, because apparently she genuinely thought she was rocking most of that fug. Poor J-Simp, as the fug girls point out, just looks like she’s trying to hide something – and who among us hasn’t been in that boat?!
Posh is… So. Freakin’. Awesome.
and wouldn’t a knowles sisters showdown be fun???? I think Solange definitely has the upper hand there, but I can’t rule out Beyonce’s ROBOHAND.
I think Jessica Simpson is VERY clearly pregnant. I bet now that her tour is over, we get an announcement about it…
Please tell me that all of the crazy stuff Posh wears is custom made. I cannot imagine where one would even go to buy those things, especially that platform boots/leggings torture device.
On body of work of course you have to go with the Rapid Beaver, but just on this year, J. Simp. should go pretty far just on the momentum created by The Jeans. And Solange could very well take the whole thing, although I like Posh as a Cinderella…those shoes are nothing short of magic.
It’s been six months and I still don’t understand how Posh’s heelless legging shoes work. Like they don’t even make logical sense to me. She gets a pass on that alone.
I’ll tell you where Vincent Gallo is: in this month’s GQ he is in an H&M AD. WHAT? Seriously…WHAT??? What has happened to the balance of the universe?!?
The Phoenix vs. Silverman was hard because neither of them truly give a sh*t. I was surprised that so many people chose Posh over Knightley. Posh is crazy but it is so intentional. Knightley is trying to be chic but getting it so wrong.
Go Drunkface! The girl’s not right. I’m afraid I’ll run into her here in the city of angels and pass out in terror. And she does have a shocking and disturbing resemblance to the Saved by the Bell/stripper girl, who is totally nuts.
Poor J. Simp. I think, based on just this last year, she wins it on pathetically sad. Rapid beaver is so confident about her fug, but J. Simp. seems confused. Intervention! RB will never change.
I just want to slap KK. Posh is fabulously fug; KK is just so annoying.
I miss River!
Well, I voted for Silverman, though I see the trend is against me. She looks as though she were dressing to take out the garbage in two feet of snow. Phoenix, on the other hand …
/shrug
I spent my formative years in Berkeley. He looks NORMAL to me.
As for the contenders further up the page, after making my selections my brain deleted them all in self-defense.
Consistantly unkempt is not true fug. I want the true whack-a-doodle of Silverman.
And K.K. just makes unfortuanate choices. Posh intends this. Posh, Sweet Bai and Bai, Psquared, and SWINTON in the final four.
And yet, so many other deserving ones. This is a blast, GFY!
(1) SOLANGE vs. (16) DRUNKFACE MCCORD
McCord totally takes it. Solange looks like she’s dressing bizarrely for attention, wheras Drunkface looks like her personal taste just sucks.
(8) JESSICA SIMPSON vs. (9) SHARON STONE
Jessica Simpson CANNOT WIN THIS ONE. For real? A hick who can’t stay away from the buffet is taking the corwn for dressing like a hick who can’t stay away from the buffet? Whereas Stone looks great AND looks crazy AND looks crazy great AND looks great crazy! Seriously…she’s the Fug Master.
(5) VICTORIA “POSH” BECKHAM vs. (12) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
Blanche Devereaux would shank Posh for that translucent bed coat. The same cannot be said of Kiera’s granny suit. Therefore, and I can’t believe I’m typing this, but Kiera’s fug wins.
(4) JOAQUIN PHOENIX vs. (13) SARAH SILVERMAN
If Joaquin was just looking for an excuse to go all Grizzly Adams he should have said he was quitting acting to play the whiskey jug in a hillbilly band. THEN I might have believed him.
Sorry for the prior post! My bad!
(1) SOLANGE vs. (16) DRUNKFACE MCCORD
McCord totally takes it. Solange looks like she’s dressing bizarrely for attention, wheras Drunkface looks like her personal taste just sucks.
(8) JESSICA SIMPSON vs. (9) SHARON STONE
Jessica Simpson CANNOT WIN THIS ONE. For real? A hick who can’t stay away from the buffet is taking the corwn for dressing like a hick who can’t stay away from the buffet? Whereas Stone looks great AND looks crazy AND looks crazy great AND looks great crazy! Seriously…she’s the FUG MASTER.
(5) VICTORIA “POSH” BECKHAM vs. (12) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
Again, Keira just looks like a chick with bad taste, but Posh totally looks like something for another planet. She, like Stone, is the very definition of Fug…in that she almost pulls it off.
(4) JOAQUIN PHOENIX vs. (13) SARAH SILVERMAN
Oh, SARAH.
Ah! I had such a difficult time choosing between Joaquin and Sarah! I ended up voting for Sarah because I desperately want to believe that J’s whole “I-Look-And-Act-Like-A-Strung-Out-Hobo” act is some sort of elaborate ploy that will end with us all watching his upcoming movie and chuckling and/or being moved by its sensitive portrayal of the lives of people experiencing homelessness. Whereas Sarah Silverman has no excuse.
Keira really shouldn’t be on here…she’s never worn anything explicitly tacky or gross, just very ugly matronly stuff at times. And too much gray. And why is she so mean to her boobies?
When will small-breasted women realize that strapless, tube-toppish dresses flatten out any boobage they might have to display? I’m speaking to you, Miss Knightley.
P.S. Please eat a sandwich.
I want a smackdown between Joaquin and Mickey!!
You ask (about Posh) “Who wears latex ON A PLANE?” The answer seems to be, “someone not planning to eat anything.” I was told by someone who heard it from a flight attendant that on a recent London-to-L.A. trip, Posh ate nothing but a single apple.
Voted for Knightley over Beckham. Keira just does this weird unflattering but possibly attempting to be fashion-forward rubbish whereas Posh is from outer space and I am very very fond of the heeless shoe-leggings
I had to vote for Sarah Silverman because a. her comedy grates on me so much,
b. as do her irritating attempts to eschew standardised ‘Hollywood bunnies’ or whatever they are called these days. There is a medium between ‘slut’ and ‘me when I was a slobby 15 year old’
and c. Joaquin still has a hot face under that face furniture.
I had to vote for Joaquin. There are so few men in the competition and man-fugness must be stopped. If I wanted to see an unwashed hot guy with scruffy, unkempt facial hair and frumpy, ill-fitting clothes I could just look over at my husband (not that he doesn’t have a lot to complain about in regards to what I traipse around looking like, but I’m just sayin’–I can’t see myself most of the time). (BTW, I love you, sweetie!)
Also, imagine what J-Simp would look like if she let Posh dress her? I say that because apparently Posh is the only one in this group that knows how to dress to flatter her figure. J-Simp, you are gorgeous, so why hide your light under an ill-fitting bushel?
I voted for the people who put in effort. I think it should be an honor to win the Fug Awards.
SOLANGE VS. MCCORD: Whatever Solange wears, it looks like something a cat coughed up in a hairball. Team Solange.
SIMPS VS. STONE: Stone, ‘cuz she’s crazily fugtabulous, and doesn’t care what we underlings think!
POSH VS. KNIGHTLEY: Honestly (and don’t kick me out of the club for saying this, but…) Posh looks fabulous to me. Nothing stands out as particularly fug, just outfits in need of minor tweaks. But Knightley, oh…you are so young, yet so matronly. KK for the win.
PHOENIX VS. SILVERMAN: Possibly mentally ill dude with bad beard/misguided career choices who cleans up well versus pretty, funny girl who doesn’t seem to want to actually be pretty therefore never tries? Yep, had to go with Silverman. So much potential, wasted.
Can I put forth a suggestion, Fug Girls? Can you put up a “Best Comments of Fug Madness 2009″ posting? Because, seriously, there are some hilarious ones out there. The Pemmican analogy by Ames in the Madonna/Miley matchup made me pee my pants a little…..
I totally agree with the Joaquin Phoenix comment, he is so f-ing beautiful underneath that beard and an outstanding actor, it is a crime against women everywhere that he is hiding underneath that bushman-esque look.
I miss hot Joaquin. But I still voted for Sarah Silverman for being so overall unappealing.
I’ve never been a fan of Jessica, but gosh. I just feel sorry for her. Seriously, the girl needs help. . .WHY won’t someone help her?!
Guys! What the hey?! The Beev can’t be losing to JSimp, that’s just not reality!
Besides, I fear the retribution we might all suffer at the hands of La STONE if she feels the snubbery.
People, seriously, LOOK at Drunkface. LOOK and BELIEVE. She has an amazing body (I’m having difficulty not hating her for that), and she’s young. Why she feels the need to dress like a cross between Liza Minelli and Big Bird is a mystery, and cannot be ignored. Yes, Solange is a walking travesty, but at least she’s shilling for her mom’s line (that’s her excuse, right?). Drunkface has no such excuse, is spending thousands, and looks like she’s on crack. She needs to go all the way in this thing. Make it happen my friends. Make it happen.
Aww. Poor J-Simp. It’s like even though she’s buying bigger clothes she still looks in the mirror and thinks she’s the same size. The fact is that she should have realised by now that her boobs are HUGE since she put on weight and be totally using that to her advantage. She has a wicked hour-glass figure now. She could look awesome. Instead she looks like your friend’s frumpy mom back in the eighties.
I voted for her very begrudgingly.
So last year on the comment thread for the finals, I left a comment to the effect that I think that the decision comes down to whether you are more interested in recognizing the insane, where the intent is clearly for you to be “OMG! She’s so crazy!!” or, on the other hand, if you are more interested in fugging those who take themselves seriously or consider themselves/are considered fashion icons or just generally have way too much money and prestige to look as fugly as they do. While Posh is clearly an attention whore, she has somewhat made the transition into fashion plate and therefore she had my vote over Bai Ling. It is for this same reason that Solange and Phoebe Price will NEVER have my vote. They want me to call them fugly because that means that I’ve noticed them and that’s just lame.
Wow, all these contests seem to be pretty close! Come on guys. Don’t let Keira Knightley beat out the crazy fugliness of Posh. She has the potential to go pretty far in this competition. As for Solange vs. Drunkface: well. Solange is wacky, but Drunkface is just…fug.
I have to say, I learned two surprising things today.
1. I might actually kind of…love Solange’s clothes. There, I said it!
2. Keira Knightly has deep, heretofore unrecognized (by me) fug potential.
PEOPLE.
SHARON STONE WINS AGAINST JESSICA SIMPSON.
In the words of GOB Bluth: “COME ON!!”
Indeed! hehehe Damn well said, Thomas!
Sorry to be such a librarian – and sorry to the librarians for using librarian in this way – but it’s RABID. RABID Beaver, not RAPID. No offense to anyone, it’s just getting under my obsessive-compulsive fingernails a little. That said, here’s my question: how can we be sure we’re voting for genuine fug – Sarah Silverman – versus voting for people whose public personas are totally annoying (Gwynnie, I’m talking about you)…?
Does no one else see the Simpson baby bump? Real, look closely Huge boob and cloths made to hide he middle. Maybe I need glasses but I’m thinking not fat, pregy. But Sharon would win anyway.
It is interesting, this turn of events. I adore Sharon Stone’s crazy, and I want her to win. Many other people adore her and respect her crazy and therefore DON’T want her to win. Should I be trying to rescue her too? Why do I feel this a huge honour that I want her to have? I’m so conflicted.
heheh We say Rapid Beaver because someone said it last year and it’s way funnier that way!
First of all, I’m guilty. I absolutely love Solance and Drunk Face’s fashion sense. Really, I would wear a lot of their ‘fugs’, especially that feather purple dress…. FAB.
Second of all, Posh will forever be amazing. She can pull off damn near everything.
Finally, I think I’m the only one who finds Joaquin attractive with all the hair. Which makes me laugh, because I used to think he was so ugly when everyone else was swooning
Can someone tell me where I can get cheekbones like POSH has???
Not for my face, oh He11, NO! But, they would make dandy serving bowls for gualcamole and salsa when we eat tacos at home.
I feel like Drunkface really should go farther, but for me, it came down to the sheer volume of fug Solange Knowles has produced in the past year. Drunkface just can’t compete. I predict that Solange goes all the way (it’ll be an epic clash between her and SWINTON). Had Drunkface been seeded just slightly higher, she would have gone out in a round that better reflects the absolute hideousness of some of her fashion choices this past year.
I’m a little disappointed that Sharon Stone isn’t beating Jessica Simpson. Stone’s clothes would be outrageous on anyone. While I am no fan of high-waisted trousers, I think there’s a chance that Jessica Simpson’s old body could have pulled them off (as much as anybody can). Seriously, though–her fug this past year is mostly because she refuses to acknowledge that her body has changed and dress in a way that’s flattering to it.
if posh doesn’t win simply because of the shoes, i’ll wear them. (not really, but i can lie.)
Posh is spectacularly wack. I would be so, so disappointed if she were to stop doing her thing. I want to go shopping with her. Keira just needs to stop it.
Posh is fantastic. She is a world of her own. But can someone please explain to me what the end goal is here? Are we voting for secretly awesome or genuinely fugly? Because if it is secretly awesome, Posh wins (and so will SWINTON) but I think Keira’s outfits (at least those shown here) are genuinely hideous. I voted for Keira.
Ugh Joaquin- I had such a crush on him, what a shame.
Sarah Silverman is about as cute as my dogs chocolate starfish. She is an excrescence. In fact, the question was posed as to what may be living in J. Phoenix’s bears…..well, it’s probably Sarah Silverman. It’s the only place she won’t get booed off stage during a drop-in. Ahem. Yeah. It happened.
J. Simp has cottage cheese. So do I. She wears Daisy Dukes. I do not. See how that works? There is a direct effect hard at work here, J. Simp. Either cover your shit, or get back to the gym!
Posh’s style is nutty and fun….Keira’s is just sloppy and ragamuffin and not at all interesting. Uberfug on her.
I could care less about Solange or Drunkface, but since Solange always has her head down in photos (kinda like J. Simp’s moputh is always open) and it’s starting to really REALLY get on my nerves, I voted her Fug Supreme.
Oh God, please don’t let it be Swilton and Posh in the finals. My head will explode.
FOUL on the Beev not beating the Skeev. Man, I really thought Rapid Beaver (I know it was originally Rabid, but as Crandycorn said, “it’s way funnier that way”) would reign supreme here. Guess I’ll go have those 10 martinis now.
I think Kiera looks AMAZING.
The rest are fug.
Poor Jessica.
I know the feeling; I’m built exactly the same way. What to wear? What to do? I know what I’d do if I were her, HIRE A DAMNED EXPERT.
And I’m sorry, but Posh no longer gets the “maybe she’s just THAT awesome” award. She’s wandered too far into freakish stick insect land.
I don’t even know how they let Posh out of the house dressed like that.
Rapid Beaver got started during LAST year’s Fug Madness – as other folks have said, a typo funnier than could be contained in a grammar check.
Thank god POSH IS BACK! She was my #1 last year and the fun has not stopped. Of course, inevitably in this round she’ll have to knock out Sharon Stone–a tough matchup–but I think she’s got it in her to KO SS. Although I am sorry that I couldn’t vote for J.Simp, but I think it’s the year, not the long haul for her… next year if there hasn’t been any improvement (and more unfortunate Daisy Duke incidents)I’ll be happy to vote yay instead of nay.
Solange v. Drunkface:
My vote for Solange over drunkface was in part due to her fug name, why neither of the Knowles girls ran screaming from the House of Dereon to the nearest deed poll office is confounding
Simpson v. Stone:
Like others I’ve noted that J Simp has managed to look reasonably OK at the airport etc much of the time and her belief that the daisy dukes & satiny shorty jumpsuits would ABSOLVE the high-pants incident…bizarre. Shaz just seems to trying to get attention much of the time now her career is S-bend bound
Becks v. Knightley:
Knightly just needs to figure out how to get clothes that fit, Posh is at a whole ‘nother level. I view her in the way many seem to view Swinton, but I think she FAR out weirds her. Swinton essentially picks a freaky frock off the runway (where fug abounds) Posh LAYERS her fug.
Phoenix v. Silverman:
Phoenix is clearly either mentally ill or fucking with us – neither get fug recognition
The once truly awesome Rapid Beaver has degenerated this year to only mild fuggery (for her). Solange, on the other hand, has escalated her game. (“So many feathers and fabrics and colors and…just everything! Whee!!”) I think she could win it all this year.
The challenge in predicting a winner for this contest has to do with predicting how the public will interpret the the concept of “fug.” In every match-up, one has to understand the phase of fug being addressed by its particular representative, and which will trump in the court of popular opinion.
On the one hand, of course, there is that truly awful expression of “self” resulting from crass desperation (which is deserving of ridicule). However, there is also that fine, bold articulation of latent extremes which reveals the creative essence of the human spirit – the artist. It is this phase of fug which will ultimately stomp its competition. This year’s winner will be SWINTON, and her win will elevate our concept of “fug.”
Solange over Drunkface: I admit, occasionally watching the new 90210 is akin to plucking one’s eyebrows with a chainsaw, but…I kinda like it. Definitely not in the way I beyond adore the original–I have every season thus far released on DVD and am planning on buying every season until the end of 8 when Brandon leaves, because then it kind of stunk–but it’s entertaining in the aspect that it entertains me like any other teen soap set in high school would. I just think this version of 90210 is so dissapointing because the original was so great. But I digress, I have a love/hate relationship with Naomi here. Firstly, her acting on the new 90210 is kind of…eh, but she gets the point across and her character is so lovingly evil that I enjoy it. But, I hear she;s good friends with costar Shenae Grimes and therefore I have to question her judgement, in friends as well as clothes. That silvery costume…thing she wore…lord that image will haunt me. And that WIG. Oh that wig. Unless you are Fran Drescher or are bald/going bald, wigs should not be part of your wardrobe. But…polyester hair cannot compete with the likes of Big Bird…er…Solange Knowles. WHAT IS WITH ALL THE FEATHERS?! Somebody stop this woman before she starts a fad and I see, like, our bank teller in a boa.
Jessica over Sharon: Sharon Stone is delightfully crazy. J. Simp., however, is just depressing. She went from the biggest star in the world in her Newlyweds Heyday to performing country at chilli cookoffs. But I digress, and we’re scrutinizing her outfit choices here…which are just as demoralizing as her professional and personal life. Nothing she wears is flattering on her. Nothing. Those high-wasted Mom jeans…I feel like I should’ve seen them on a big-haired, middle-aged passenger aboard the Carnival Inspiration with a fanny-pack placed at the waist. And how many people did she hire to get her into those Daisy Dukes again?
Posh over Keira: Keira Knightley may have that habit for wearing gowns that are about an inch away from revealing nippage, and she has that issue with dressing like my grandmother at Bingo Night down at the Senior Center, but…it’s POSH. How could I not vote for Posh? This is a woman who once wore heeled boots without the heel, and dressed like a very fabulous Nazi/sixties airline pilot just for kicks.
Joaquin over Sarah: Joaquin Phoenix. I…I just have…no words. He went from looking like a vaguely attractive and talented serious actor, to resembling a member of ZZ Top crossed with my rabbi. The beard, the sunglasses, the “rap” career…it reeks of insanity. But, as the Fug Girls said, I believe this whole “eschewing his successful acting career to be a rap sensation” is all baloney. I think it’s for that documentary Casey Affleck is supposedly making; all of this ridiculousness is all a little too obvious and in-your-face. That being said, though, he still looks like he should move up to the mountains and call himself Zed.
Okay, all I have to say is that I CAN NOT believe that Jessica Simpson is beating Sharon Stone! Just because you are hella tacky and have gotten kinda fat does not mean you are any kind of a match for Rapid Beaver Sharon Stone. This a travesty! It shall not stand!
I’d probably vote for someone other than Keira Knightley, but she feels the need to accessorize every outfit with a facial expression closely resembling the whiskerless side of a cat.
Praise the heavens! The hoof-shoes were eligible for competition!
I mean seriously those shoes ALONE can take Posh to the final four, the rest of her is just an aside at this point.
It’s so sad, I couldn’t penalize Joaquin for being crazy, Sarah doesn’t have the same excuse.
that drunkface chick got off easy this time.
Posh is fuliest for throwing dead foxes in our faces.
Solange FTW. I am serious. I think she can do it. I love her. I loved her CD. I love the Family Knowles, but I still voted for both sisters. Solange must win. It is my dying wish.
However, a 16th seed was too low for Drunkface!!! I am proud to say I don’t even know her real first name.
As for JSimp vs Rapid Beaver….the latter didn’t freak her freak enough this year. Plus, Jessica was knocked out first round last year and I was NOT pleased because there is no one who does unflattering the way she does. Sharon is another Lifetime Achievement Fugs, but not a winner this year. 8 vs 9 seeds always end in heartbreak. If only they could both go on.
I can’t lie…I love Posh in everything. She makes the craziest stuff totally major and I never want her to stop. She got my vote obviously, but I want it to be known that I am in full support of her (and Solange too). Plus her reality special was still one of the funnier things I have ever seen.
Seriously people…vote SOLANGE! I am THIS close to buying a sandwich board and wandering around the local campus handing out flyers with Starburst attached so people actually look at them.
PLUS!!…. I know I said it earlier on another board, but Solange’s Twitter forewarned us of something she calls her “Banana Pants.” I am so excited. And nervous for myself that I actually think she always looks pretty and kind of great and kind of scary and my head just imploded.
is it just me, or does solange look like she is squeezing a basketball between her thighs. Suzanne Somers look out!
and sharon stone looks like she took one of those drug store/infomercial fake hair pony tail covers and smashed it flat on top of her head
and sarah silverman, i don’t care what she wears, she is SOOO cute, she looks just like my son’s high school bio teacher, adorable. there is just something great about a cute girl who can say stuff that makes you think “ew” and get away with it
and posh, i am in awe of her body, the shape of which makes a Barbie doll look like it has normal proportions. and her shoes ALWAYS rock even when the rest of the outfit is off. i would mug her for that purse.
drunkface’s outfit: now I know what happened to that big wad of dryer lint i misplaced
“By Fatima on March 20, 2009 10:48 PM
PLUS!!…. I know I said it earlier on another board, but Solange’s Twitter forewarned us of something she calls her “Banana Pants.” I am so excited.”
Good lord! I so hope that means her legs will be SHAPED like giant bananas!
Fug Madness might be better than Christmas. That’s all.
Um, Banana Pants?! I think I’m okay with Rapid/Rabid Beaver’s loss now. Who knew that Solange would take the pain away? I mean, Banana PANTS? Maybe she will be a reverse Carmen Miranda, bottom-fruit in lieu of head-fruit? A reason to go on…. Good lookin’ out Fatima!
SOLANGE v. DRUNKFACE:
Quite frankly, I’m shocked that Drunkface has as large a percentage of the vote as she does. People, did you click Solange’s links? DID YOU SEE THE YELLOW UNIBROW OF EYESHADOW?! I have no choice but to pick Solange FTW.
SHARON STONE v. J. SIMPS:
Here’s the thing–even though her choices are kooky, Sharon Stone always looks sort of fantastic. I mean, her looks always emphasize her height and figure. J. Simps’ outfits do the same thing…except that they emphasize all the WRONG things about her height and figure. (The jeans themselves were the heinous offense, not her weight).
POSH v. KEIRA:
Oh, come ON. You did see those phantom heeled thigh-high boots Posh had on, didn’t you? I REST MY CASE. This woman is a treasure BECAUSE of her fugliness. Let her know how much we appreciate it.
JOAQUIN PHOENIX v. SARA SILVERMAN:
I’m shocked that this vote is as close as it is. In my opinion, Mr. Phoenix’s transformation for the worse is some sort of wicked publicity stunt and should not be taken seriously. Sara Silverman appears to actually be in her right mind, and she still goes out looking like that. Keep that in mind before making your choice…
I can’t stop seeing Brigitte Nielsen when I look at crazy pictures of Sharon Stone.
Ok since there are people interested…a follow up on the banana pants. They may have already been worn at this weeks SXSW festival where she was playing. She mentioned something about a banana print for herself and banana suits for her band.
Here are two of the actual posts about it: “I’m getting bannana print pants made, a cloud skirt, rim’s printed leggings… Nope not kidding.”
“i just finished my fitting…. im prepared to be on every worst dressed list. nut ill be smillling from ear to ear with my banana pants!”
God bless her.
Sarah got my vote solely based on the fact that there are some events you just don’t dress like that for, including an inauguration!
I love Posh! Her clothes work in their own wild way, whereas Keira is gorgeous, but her brand of chic is far off any mark. She should not look that frumpy! That to me is fug..
I’m depressed that Kiera escaped my vote simply because she was pitted against Posh. It feels like I’m condoning all those slouchy little dresses clinging to her shrunken plank-chest.
i voted mainly for joaquin. he used to be this GORGEOUS man and now…lost forever!
I can’t believe that J.Simp is beating Sharon Stone. J.Simp may not have learned how to dress a normal body (like the one she seems to have grown this year) but she’s otherwise uninteresting.
Sharon Stone is a madwoman! Her fug runs deep and pure.
Oh, Solange, dear…I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!! Why? Why??? But still, I will take you kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead you to some gorgeous gowns because you are actually Quite Pretty. You could maybe look really good if you weren’t wearing Muppets/Aliens/African War Makeup/Leggings of Pure Horror all the time. Sigh. You are not going to make this easy on me, are you?
Solange’s fetlock shoes should secure a win, hands down.
Joaquin Phoenix, why won’t you let us see how attractive you are? The extreme contrast is truly fug.
Excuse me but … WHAT? Simp is beating Stone??? this is an outrage, i demand a re-count! someone is stuffing the ballot-boxes.
The Solange vs Drunkface should be a tie. It was so hard to pick between the two, they are both alarming!
Sure, I’m still a little drunk from last night, but SHARON STONE is getting beat by JSIMP?
That is as impossible as me telling my boss last night that he should just come out of the closet already and let his wife go.
I think I’ll suck the dregs out of this last bottle and check back later after I find my pants…surely someone will correct this TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE.
How can anyone not love Posh? I just don’t understand it. She is a genius. We should all be so lucky as to be able to wander through airports in shiny pants, wear Joan Collins’ nightie to dinner at the White House and have tights with built in shoes in them. I want to be her.