7th Fugden

I know this happened over the weekend, but I just dug it out from underneath the giant pile of stuff from the Grammys and the BAFTAs and Sarah Jessica Parker’s starring role in Camel Toe Run. And I screeched in horror yet anew:

On one hand: enjoy standing that close to an Oscar honey, because that’s as near as you’re going to get to one, unless you break into Meryl Streep’s house next time you’re in the neighborhood.

Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Name Twin. That was unkind. I just could not resist. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m right. But look at Hilary Swank: when she was best known for being the Girl Karate Kid and making out with Steve Sanders, we never thought she would end up having two Academy Awards. And I have been wrong before. So….good luck with that, is what I’m saying. Because unless JT ends up writing some mangy tune for some animated — I’ll stop now. I’m sorry. Really. Forgive.

In fact, I feel so guilty about making all these jokes about your skills that I won’t even mention that you’re wearing a sofa. Are we square now? You’re the best.