90210: The Fug Generation

Jul 21, 2008 By Jessica AT 1:22 pm

The new 90210 hasn’t even started and yet I already cherish it deeply. As you can imagine, the news that Shannen Doherty would be back as Brenda Walsh was met with great rejoicing here at GFY HQ. We sent Intern George out for bellinis and wheels of cheese immediately. Part of what is so delectable about the return of half the original cast is that you know the New Generation is kind of worried that they’re five minutes away from being downgraded to tertiary characters who get minimal screen time while Kelly and Brenda wrestle in the West Beverly High swimming pool and argue some more about Dylan. Which could actually probably happen. Like, who has time to worry about the random problems of some girl who used to be on Degrassi when we’ve got the possible demise of Donna’s marriage to David to consider AND then an hour later (or whatever), we need to concentrate on Chuck and Blair? But I have to say, I want to take one of the Extra Crispy Recipe cast members and crush her to my bosom with joy, because I can already tell she is going to be amusing. I speak of AnnaLynne McCord:

Why do I treasure her, you ask? Because she is almost always about 6 seconds away from flashing her nipple — but hasn’t  — and although she may well be living on wheatgrass juice and artisanal waters from a well she dug herself, she always looks hammered. And maybe this is just the way her face is, but I like to think that she woke up and thought to herself,  “that bitch Doherty is not taking any time away from me, and if I have to tease America with nipples and carousing, damn it, I WILL.”

Also, what is up with this:

It’s like a cape, potentially tucked up into her thong somewhere. Stay classy, AnnaLynne! I can’t wait for you to hint that you might consider driving your car at slow speeds into a paparazzi or that you are maybe going to try to provoke a fistfight with Tori Spelling!

Fug file: Uncategorized, , , , ,
react: