A Woman Of Many (Fugly) Hats

“Janet! [CLICK] Janet, over here! Smile big for us, Janet! [CLICK] Show us some nipple! [CLICK] JAN… wait a second, that’s not Janet, that’s just some dumb look-alike… Who the hell is that?”

Singer Blu Cantrell, shown above at a fashion-show benefit, was apparently very excited to use this appearance to share with the world her plan to quit singing and become a jockey — a literal attempt to ride back into cultural relevance, possibly by winning next year’s Triple Crown.

Good luck, Blu! Hopefully by then we’ll remember why you were ever famous in the first place.