All My Fugs

Apparently Katie Holmes is not going to rest until she’s forced me to confront some seriously impossible fashion quandaries.

[Photo: INFDaily.com]

For example, if death were not an option, would I wear her pegged pants, or these high-waisted, wide-legged things with matching belt? I find myself wondering what kind of conditions I can impose, like whether this conundrum is being presented to me in a world without cameras — and thus, no evidence of my trouser tribulations — or if I am making this decision with a gun to my temple. Or perhaps I have recently been blinded while ice skating, because I attempted a risky jump while at a cocktail party and fell into a bunch of chairs, almost losing my Olympic dream along with my sight.

There HAS to be SOME extenuating circumstance(s), right? Because I’m not sure I can answer this question without conditions.