AMA Fug Carpet Scrolldown: Chris Brown

Chris Brown seems like a nice kid, even if he did show up wearing the exact same thing the red carpet wore. Awkward.

But I do think this is an excellent cautionary picture against the perils of cuffing your baggy pants, particularly when done with wanton disregard for proportions. His torso looks nine feet long; his legs, by comparison, seem like three feet with a possible lack of knee. Those are practically South Park proportions. And if eloquent animated epics like “Woodland Critter Christmas” and the shocking yet stirring tale of Lemmiwinks the Gerbil King’s crusade through the Ass of Doom have combined to teach us anything, it is this lesson: Bad, strange, often calamitous things happen to people with South Park proportions. Oh, and also, a catata fish in a feathered helmet can be a powerful ally — but that’s really more of a creed.