Author Archives: Heather

amfAR Inspiration Gala Lopez Carpet: Jennifer Lopez


“HOLA LOVERS.

“It is yo, dressed in the most expensive wrapping paper on The Block, porque tonight I am getting a gift so I wanted to give a gift, and the gift is LOPEZ. Lovers, I am, ahora, the most important humanitarian of forever, voted on by the Anthrax Foundation or whatever. And do you know why it is true, lovers? Do you know why I am getting a statue because of how I just give and give and give? It is because I am a lover, lovers.

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amfAR Gala Well Played (If Not Well Wrangled): Uma Thurman


I am enamored of what a diva Uma Thurman is becoming.

And I don’t mean that she is actually a crazy PERSON — she might be, and that’s fine; I don’t know anything about her personally — but rather that she has taken to walking the red carpet like she is the Crown Princess of Hot Damn. And in doing so, she may have made it true. Maybe I’ll try it. Look for me at the Wendy’s up the street in a huge dress.

Alas, she was, even briefly, bested by an aggressive corset.

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Fugs and Fabs: Ladies from “Mad Men”


“We’ve switched Elisabeth’s regular skirt with one of Elizabeth Taylor’s favorite turbans. Let’s see if she notices.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Laura Fugney


Words I traditionally associate with Laura Linney: talented, lovely, classy, warm, OMGIGNOREYOURPHONETHATGUYWANTSTOSLEEPWITHYOU (just TRY not saying that, all in one piece, while watching Love, Actually).

Words I do not traditionally associate with Laura Linney: Yikes, oof, schoolmarm, NOOOOOO, pinafore, crazyshitasticalblouse, smock, shirtvomit. Thanks, Thursday, for giving me a new experience.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugbra Messing


Debra Messing’s wardrobe has always been a few degrees off, like milk that’s been open in the fridge for a long time even though it hasn’t hit its printed expiration date.  So, on a whim, I decided to anagram her name to see if anything else apt — besides messing — is lurking in there. And it IS.

Behold: Bad sense grim.

Let’s hope she pulls out something better before I have to hit her with, “Sins garbed me.”

[Photo: Getty]

 

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Fug or Fab: Amy Adams


For me this might be fug AND fab, actually. I like the dress conceptually…

… but HATE how the bodice makes it look like she’s one Showcase Showdown away from that sucker rolling down to her waist.

How is it for you?

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[Photo: Getty]

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