BET Awards Fug Carpet: Beyonce

Oh, Beyonce, you coy little mistress of mischief.

I can’t be positive, but I have a sneaking suspicion that dress is secretly an abstract painting of a flamingo done entirely in oils and sequins, from Monet’s lesser-known “psychic”delic period — you know, where he’d abuse drugs in order to hallucinate the future and create things for Linda Evans to wear as blouses. They don’t teach it much in art history, but trust me, it came right between his drag era and the time he gave up painting altogether to become a cobbler who specialized in turning Easter baskets into wedge sandals.