BET Awards Show Fug: Rihanna

The majority of you forgave Rihanna for dressing like a lemon cake. But can you forgive her for this contraption?

Before we all write this off as Rihanna being deeply original and offbeat, I should point you to our girl Kelly Clarkson, who did the “Like A Dead Virgin” thing a few years ago with — I think — equally stupid results. Of course, Kelly stopped short of strapping her tutu to a weight belt, and did not take care to add… what is that, a dickey? With tiny sleeves? A RUBBER dickey? It’s bad enough that I look at a transparent tutu pyramid and shrug, “Eh, been there, seen that,” but a DICKEY? Is THIS really where we are now, America?

Also, I know it’s just a reflection off her metallic collar — and we all
know how awkward it can be when our metallic collars catch the light
weirdly; it’s my private pain — but whenever I look at her neck, I see
half of a gleaming silver mask staring back at me. Do you think her
maybe-probably-boyfriend Chris Brown was gazing up at her and silently singing,
“Rubber Dickey, you’re the one; you make Sexy Time lots of fun! Rubber Dickey I’m awfully fond of you”? Or was he too busy thinking, “The PHAAAAAAANTOM of the Opera is HEEEEEEERE, INSIDE MY MIND”?