Cannes Fug Carpet: Hofit Golan

In the past we’ve tried to figure out who Hofit Golan is — she seems to be a model, and she’s definitely not shy; she’s also been hitting the Cannes red carpets alongside Phoebe Price, which to me indicates she is some other country’s version of our favorite flame-haired bastion of pointlessness. But that’s about it, and maybe that’s enough.

Hofit made a stir at the Inglourious Basterds premiere — and yes, I first typed Inglourious Basters, which I think is either a movie about Thanksgiving or the name of a really low-rent fertility clinic. But anyway, let’s get to Hofit’s gown. Here’s the front:

Aspects of this are quite pretty, although the cut-outs feel ripped from one of those mass e-mails that goes out every prom season, which feature real-life photographs of trashy prom dresses where, say, only tiny straps of fabric cover a girl’s nipples or there is ass-crack on display. In essence, they ho up what might otherwise have a surprising grace to it. When you’re wearing a bodice that borrows its style from a bathing suit Paris Hilton once wore, you have erred on the side of Ew.

Because those cutouts lend themselves to this:

You get a cheap-looking bra-style rigging in the back to keep it up, and a bottom that inches down to expose her panty floss. Which in some contexts could be designed well, and in an appealing way, but this just looks a bit like David’s Bridal has developed a special Jenna Jameson line.

Full marks to Hofit for coordinating the tint of her butt-string with the details on her skirt and collar, though, I suppose. And, hey, it’s nice for Sisqo that, lo these many years after his sensitive plea to let him see your thong, now TWO people heeded his call. Maybe he should be the patron saint of Cannes.