Cannes Fug Carpet: Natacha Amal

This photo is so painfully tantalizing.

I mean, how can you resist wanting to see the rest of the outfit that involves a ruffled one-shoulder bodice THAT poofy? The mind races. I imagined everything from a long ball gown to a bubble skirt shaped like a giant tomato to a sleek lower half completely different than the Dynasty promise of all that crimson volume.

What I somehow did not imagine was this:

It’s a BLOUSE CAPE.

OVER A BODYSUIT.

I am speechless. It’s what Joan Collins would wear if she joined the Cirque du Soleil.

And yet somehow, most magically of all, not even a small nation’s worth of fire-engine fabric managed to swaddle EVERY inch of her body.

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

Come on, Officer — reach out and zip someone.