I’m trying to decide if this is the kind of color- and pattern-blending crazy that secretly works, or if it’s just pure madness.
The skirt is cool, for sure, and I like the shoes with it. My sticking point is the shirt. It looks like two magic, fiery July Fourth pinwheels have attacked her chest. My instinct is, if we could peel those off, we’d be onto something — but with them, it’s like a prank from whatever the Hogwarts of clown colleges is.
Loading ...[Photo: Fame/Flynet]
I hate that tabloids are making fun of Kim’s pregnant body. It’s bad form even if she isn’t pregnant, but doubly so because she is. That is douchey in the extreme — not least because, while people have no control over how they gain weight anyway, women who are gestating ESPECIALLY do not get a say. I’ve been there; I’m sympathetic to watching your body create weird new shapes, and when you’re curvy to begin with, it’s going to surprise you even more. You grow how you grow, so to make someone feel like she isn’t ripening with child in the way that you had hoped and imagined is the height of suckitude. A BABY IS IN THERE TRYING TO GET BIGGER. Leave her body alone. (Mark my words, it’s all going to make her SO freaked out that it will lead to a cover story eight weeks after the birth about Kim’s “inspirational” story of losing 40 pounds in six weeks via some crackpot regimen of QuickTrim and twice-daily workouts and cutting out chewable food, which the story will attempt to imply is actually reasonable, and that we should all expect to drop baby weight that fast, which: No).
But Kim is trying so aggressively hard to get through this gestation period while being Fashionable with a capital F — or, you know, her version of Fashionable — that it’s hard to ignore her outfits, because she often ends up right back in her usual non-pregnant neighborhood of Fugly. Some of this stuff is fine and some of it is hilarious and some of it, like the above, is pure WTF. You can leave the body alone while still scratching your head at what’s covering it, and that is the line we aim to walk: focusing on the clothes that would be just as crazy on any living, breathing human, regardless of what’s happening in the womb. So let’s DO THIS. Gently, and with the right balance of empathy and emphatic nos.
[Photos: WENN, Pacific Coast News]
Look, I know that Kanye doesn’t want Kim to be wearing maternity clothes, for some nutty reason.
But I also know that Kanye, as an artist, is accustomed to hearing notes on his work. And I have some. So I think we should all take a seat and discuss the direction this project seems to be going. As far as I can tell, it’s speeding toward a little place I like to call OFF THE RAILS. FREE BABYE.
[Photos: INF]
In an e-mail to Jessica about this post I referred to Vanessa as Les Hudgerables, and that might stick. We’ll soon see. Anyway, now that we know she’s OFFICIALLY not going to retain her title, let’s say goodbye to the Fug Madness champ, and eagerly await the crazy rags she’s going to wear at Coachella next month.
[Photos: WENN, Fame/Flynet]
As I waited for this picture to download, I thought, “Wow, Eva Mendes hasn’t been in a movie in AGES. I wonder what she’s up to. A girl’s career can not run on dating Ryan Gosling alone.” So I looked on IMDb, and she’s in the new HBO movie from Larry David, also starring My Boyfriend Jon Hamm, so I guess she’s doing okay for herself:
EVEN IF SHE CAN’T DRESS HERSELF. I kid you not, there is FOR SURE a scene in the Judith Krantz masterwork Scruples wherein our heroine Billie Winthrop Ikehorn Orsini puts on this very jumpsuit — presumably before running down to her store to give someone hell. Sexy, sexy hell. And while that is, in a sense, a compliment — I sincerely love that book — while Billie WIO remains awesome, her outfits are perhaps best left in the 80s.
(Parenthetically, I will not rest until all of you have read Scruples and, in fact, at least 2/3rs of the Krantz oeuvre. She published Scruples, her first novel, when she was 50 YEARS OLD, after working in magazines for years, and all of her heroines have extremely interesting, well-drawn jobs. It’s nice to read a trashy book where the heroine has all kinds of romantical problems but also has a fascinating and compelling career. I am both devastated that the Natalie Portman-produced pilot of Scruples never got picked up, but also perhaps relieved that I don’t have to see Chad Michael Murray RUIN the character of Spider Elliot every week. I’m so torn. I long to see that pilot, as I fear it must have been completely hilari-bad. ANYWAY. I also highly recommend Krantz’s autobiography. It is called — wait for it — Sex and Shopping. And it’s dishy. Thus concludes this meeting of the GFY Parenthetical Trashy Book Club. We don’t like your outfit, Eva, but we appreciate the excuse for the digression.)
[Photo: Pacific Coast News]
14 photos in gallery
3 photos in gallery
Fug Right Now
Because the time to start campaigning for the next Fug Madness is when you’re in the middle of the current Fug Madness. NO ONE can say she isn’t working for it:
And while I share her affinity for the sweet nectar of Coca-Cola brand products….that’s about all I can co-sign.
[Photo: Splash]
react: