Fug File: Crotchtacular

Lindsay Fuglan

Apr 9, 2010 By Jessica AT 9:00 am

Oh, great.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

I was wondering if skin-tight booty shorts were going to be the leggings of summer. WHAT A RELIEF TO KNOW THAT’S TRUE. THANK YOU LINDSAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

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Oscars Post-Party Fug Carpet: Heidi Klum

Mar 9, 2010 By Jessica AT 12:30 pm

While I’m loving the CONCEPT here — the sort of sixties mini/bedhead/eyeliner idea appeals to me very much — this thing does not fit.

Seriously. Heidi Klum has an amazing figure, but this thing is… a little graphic, no? I’m sure several readers may disagree with me, but I don’t need to get this close to witnessing the juncture of La Klum’s thighs at a venue that is not sponsored by Sports Illustrated or Victoria’s Secret. Frankly, I’m going to go out on a limb and note that bare thigh junctures have no place at the Oscars whatsoever, though I’m sure Bare Thigh Junctures is an excellent niche publication. That may make me a Crotchety Old Crone, but I’m okay with that in this case.

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Fug or Fab: Kristen Stewart

Feb 24, 2010 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

Hey, for those of you who say we never publish pics of K Stew smiling, this one’s for you!

From left to right: some dude; an Olsen in disguise as Rachel Zoe; Kate Hudson using her coat as a blanket; Kristen Stewart, looking very cute indeed with a big smile, perhaps because she appears to be putting ear buds in to block out Kate Hudson’s yammering; Claire “Bored” Danes; Mia Wasikowska, who looks in that gamine crop the way I think Carey Mulligan wants to look.

Let’s take a closer look at Stewart, shall we?
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Grammys Fug or Fab: Beyonce

Feb 1, 2010 By Jessica AT 2:00 pm

I am sure of one thing: I like Beyonce better with darker hair.

And I like her dress THEORECTICALLY: the texture is really interesting, even if it sort of matches the texturing on my bath towels and thus all I can think of when I look at her hem is how I need to re-grout my tub. But that’s not Beyonce’s fault. However, I must admit that I am finding the color a bit, as Tyra would put it, wah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. On the other hand, at least it’s not white: three awards shows in, and I am already sick of people showing up in bridal white. The Oscars may render me comatose.

Like many of the nominees, Beyonce changed multiple times over the course of the evening. I have to say, I kind of liked the rest of her wardrobe. TO WIT:

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Grammys Fug Universe: Lady Gaga

Feb 1, 2010 By Jessica AT 11:15 am

I just told Heather that I don’t know if I possess the right words — or enough of them — to describe the cornucopia of looks paraded by one Miss Lady Gaga last night. (She’s Miss Gaga, because I might get nasty.) I swear, I might just devolve into strings of adjectives. For example:

This is…futuristic prom rave murder sparkle cable installation.

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Fugmerican Fug

Jan 29, 2010 By Jessica AT 9:00 am

When I saw this picture in thumbnail format, I admit that I truly believed Tara Reid was wearing a dress, rather than a shirt:

Let us all give MASSIVE THANKS to ALL POSSIBLE DEITIES that I am blind.

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