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Fug File: Freaky Fug Friday

Freaky Fug Friday: Winners!

Apr 25, 2012 By Jessica AT 9:15 am

The entries for this particular FFF were AMAZING. It was incredibly tough for us to pick the top three, and I fully recommend you read all of them.

A reminder:

THE SITUATION: I can’t improve on what our photo service said about this: “Actress and star of ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Kat Graham seen performing with her band ‘The Knocks’ at the opening of the Chilli Beans Sunglasses shop in Los Angeles.” Oh, Kat Graham. Opening a Chilli Beans. I LOVE YOU.

THE TASK: This outfit is obviously straight out of 1991. Our giveaway is a book that involves magical shenanigans. Please share with us the magical incantation Kat Graham uses to time-travel so elegantly between Today and Back In the Day.

And, with no further ado, your top three! Each of these authors will get an ARC of Leigh Bardugo’s awesome Shadow and Bone. The one who wins your vote as best overall will also get a $100 gift certificate from Obsessive Complusive Cosmetics!

1) Rachel:

Gods of flannel, hear my plea
Power of denim grant to me
Spandex bike shorts, glitter boobs
Take me back to ’92
I’ve made the sacrifice, let me take the plunge
Send me back to the time of grunge

(incantation requires the burning of incense, a Troll and a fabric sunflower)

2) Mags:

Two Gin Blossoms, an eye of Kurt,
Pairs of shorts so tight they hurt,
Bedazzled boobs in dire straits,
A doorway to beyond awaits,
A borrowed flannel, combat boots,
Protection from all dark disputes,
Because when the beasties come out to play,
They’ll turn back screaming “Like… what a total Monet!”

3) Allie:

Hail spirits of a decade past
Entreat thee with this spell I cast…

Transport me to that dawn of days
When plaid and jorts were all the rage,

When Docs-not Crocs- adorned our feet
And bike shorts made the look complete.

In glitz and wire, my boobs encased
My shirt wrapped tightly ’round my waist

Transport me back through time and space
And leave me there on Melrose Place

And if one wish you’ll grant to me?
Give me the body of Demi

For should I land in fashion hell,
At least that way I’ll wear it well

O Kurt! Selena! JonBenet!
Princess Di and JFK!

I beg thee, when the stars align,
To my pager send the sign

For though it may well be a sin,
I long to wear these clothes again!

Which entry is your favorite?

Number One, by Rachel (25%, 968 Votes)
Number Two, by Mags (17%, 665 Votes)
Number Three, by Allie (58%, 2,201 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,813

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Freaky Fug Friday: Kat Graham

Apr 20, 2012 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

I love you, Kat Graham. This outfit makes me feel like I’m late for Social Studies:

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: We are giving away three advanced copies of Leigh Bardugo’s amazing new book, SHADOW AND BONE, some awesome Shadow and Bone swag, and — to the best overall entry — one $100 gift certificate to Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics. What’s the book about? Behold:

“Surrounded by enemies, the once-great nation of Ravka has been torn in two by the Shadow Fold, a swath of near impenetrable darkness crawling with monsters who feast on human flesh. Now its fate may rest on the shoulders of one lonely refugee.

Alina Starkov has never been good at anything. But when her regiment is attacked on the Fold and her best friend is brutally injured, Alina reveals a dormant power that saves his life—a power that could be the key to setting her war-ravaged country free. Wrenched from everything she knows, Alina is whisked away to the royal court to be trained as a member of the Grisha, the magical elite led by the mysterious Darkling.

Yet nothing in this lavish world is what it seems. With darkness looming and an entire kingdom depending on her untamed power, Alina will have to confront the secrets of the Grisha…and the secrets of her heart.”

I have read it, and it’s seriously fab. You guys are going to LOVE it. Good luck!

Freaky Fug Friday: Winners!

Apr 17, 2012 By Jessica AT 10:30 am

Are you ready to meet the WINNERS of last week’s giveaway of Liza Palmer’s new book, More Like Her? I am sure that you are.

As a refresher, the task was to read Christina Milian’s lips, and tell us what imaginary list she’s enumerating, and all five items on it. (For example: The List: Five Reasons I Wish I’d Married CMM: 1) An endless supply of hair gel. 2) James Lafferty’s home phone number. Etc.) At LEAST five thank yous to everyone who entered this week, and with no further ado, behold the five winners:

foo:

“5 reasons I’m perfect for the re-make of Pretty Woman

1) I got the dress, see?

2) Chick behind me got the boots

3) Jason Alexander is in my purse

4) Julia Robert’s dental double is showing me her SAG card

5) I just ate a croissant.”

Angela:

“My Plan for Taking the Fug Madness 2013 Crown:

1. Cutouts. Starting with this dress.

2. See what that Kardashian over there is wearing? I’m going to copy it and add fringe.

3. Creating the Poncho Pantsuit. It will be made out of lace.

4. Get myself onto the CW for Fug The Show.

5. You know what Lindsay Lohan’s problem is? She dresses too demure. I’ll show her how it’s done.”

Erin:

“5 Potential Names for My Inevitable Clothing Line:

1) Colors A-Milian

2) Lycra A-Milian

3) Leotards A-Milian

4) Swirls A-Milian

5) Cutouts A-Milian”

Becca:

“Are you ready? Here we go! So I acted in “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” with Number 1, Nick Cannon. He’s married to Number 2, Mariah Carey, who starred in “Glitter” with Number 3, Da Brat, who recorded a song for “Precious,” which also had Number 4, Lenny Kravitz, who acted in “The Hunger Games” with Number 5, Jennifer Lawrence, who was in X-Men: First Class with Kevin Bacon! See? It works every time!”

TonyG:

“So, I wore this to a party given by my BFF, J.Lo, who dared me that I could not be the first person to score five different categories with one outfit on GFY. So, I said, Hola, hater! What about what I have on right now? It’s almost, but not quite worthy of Crotchtacular, but I am so gonna be listed in:

1. WTF

2. The Evils of Satin

3. Accessories to the Crime

4. Pattern Problems

5. Oh, Honey No!”

Check your email for how to collect your prize!

Freaky Fug Friday: Christina Milian

Apr 13, 2012 By Jessica AT 9:30 am

And the books just keep on coming!

THE SITUATION: Christina Milian, waiting for her car at the valet. Giving the hand to a girl whose outfit I just realizes seems to involve a swimsuit. But she’s not our concern….not yet.

THE TASK: Christina looks as thought she just listed off five items, finger by finger. What are they? What she needs to get at the grocery store? Her reasons for wearing what I suspect is a vintage 80s Hypercolor dress from Wet Seal? Her plan for invigorating her career? Her regrets at not marrying Chad Michael Murray when they co-starred in that ABC Family movie together? Read her lips, and tell us what imaginary list she’s enumerating, and all five items on it. (For example: The List: Five Reasons I Wish I’d Married CMM: 1) An endless supply of hair gel. 2) James Lafferty’s home phone number. Etc.)

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: Yay! This is a good one. We’re giving away 5 copies of Liza Palmer’s new book, MORE LIKE HER (US and Canadian residents only). What’s it about? BEHOLD:

“What really goes on behind those perfect white picket fences?

In Frances’s mind, beautiful, successful, ecstatically married Emma Dunham is the height of female perfection. Frances, recently dumped with spectacular drama by her boyfriend, aspires to be just like Emma….Yet sometimes the golden dream you fervently wish for turns out to be not at all what it seems—like Emma’s enviable suburban postcard life, which is about to be brutally cut short by a perfect husband turned killer. And in the shocking aftermath, three devastated friends are going to have to come to terms with their own secrets . . . and somehow learn to move forward after their dream is exposed as a lie.”

I have read it myself, and I think you guys will really enjoy it. It’s about relationships and friendships and break-ups and work and hot dudes and a little bit about BBQ, and it’s a really good read (it’s also all set in my hometown, which I extra-enjoyed). I hope you win!

MESSY Monday Giveaway

Apr 9, 2012 By Jessica AT 11:00 am

We are so stoked about this giveaway. As we mentioned in our 10,000th post, Heather and I have a new book coming out (so if you’ve been meaning to pick up the first one, Spoiled, now is a good time). The great Mindy Kaling blurbed it, and everything. We are excited:

It’s called Messy, it’s a follow-up to Spoiled (with all the usual suspects present and accounted for — Brooke, Molly, Teddy, and, obviously, Brick Berlin, given that he’s never met a sequel in which he didn’t feel the need to star), and it comes out June 5th, 2012, just in time for y’all to read it by the pool accompanied by a be-umbrellaed beverage. What is it about? Let’s take a squizz at the back cover:

Now that Brooke’s caught a taste of fame and her movie star father’s attention, she wants to launch a blog that will position her as the ultimate Hollywood insider. But between schoolwork, party-planning committee meetings, and spa treatments, she hardly has the time to write it herself…

Enter Max McCormack, an aspiring author with a terrible after-school job pushing faux meat on the macrobiotic masses of La-La Land. Max reluctantly agrees to play Brooke’s ghost-blogger for an impressive salary, and the site takes off, but how long can their lie last? In person, Brooke can’t live up to the intellectual wit of openbrooke.com, and Max soon begins to resent hiding her genius behind a bandage dress-wearing blonde. Can the girls work together to stay on top, or will the truth come out and ruin everything they’ve built?

You will have to buy the book to find out… unless, of course, you win this giveaway. Heather and I are giving away three (3) Advanced Reading Copies this week! (You’ll even get the original cover.)

THE TASK: Please compose an acrostic of the word MESSY — as a reminder, an acrostic is a poem in which the first letter of each line spells a word when read vertically, in this case, MESSY (so the first letter of the first line would be an M). The subject of your poem is the Hollywood star who has, in your opinion, the messiest closet/personal life/car/yacht/career. Extra points for originality (in other words, unless the 75th poem about Lindsay Lohan is really, really tremendous, it will probably not win).

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on THURSDAY NIGHT. This contest is open to ALL READERS. If I have to mail this thing to Siberia, I will.

THE PRIZE: I just told you, dude. An ARC of Messy. Autographed and everything!

Freaky Fug Friday: Results!

Mar 13, 2012 By Jessica AT 2:00 pm

We have winners! As a reminder, here was the picture:

And here was the challenge:

THE TASK: We haven’t done a haiku recently — due to not having done one of these in a while — so polish your 5-7-5 skillz and pen us a bitching haiku about K Stew that includes the words “vampire,” “leather” and “toes.”

And here are our winners! Each of you will be getting copy of Abby McDonald’s new book, Getting Over Garrett Delaney. If you’re a winner, please look for an email from us so we can get your deets! And thanks to all who entered — there were so many great entries!

Diane:
Freeing those vampire
toes from all that leather is
a big Fashion Don’t.

Jen:

Leather shoes with pants

Shants? Hipster vampire, she has

Claus-TOES-phobia

CMoney:

Toes can breathe freely

Spring Volturi Vampire

Leather Collection

jjdaddyo:

Bloody Vampire Toes

Clenched, Sweaty Leather Nethers