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Fug File: Freaky Fug Friday

Freaky Fug Friday: Winners!

May 30, 2012 By Jessica AT 12:30 pm

Congrats to the winners, and thanks to all who entered! A reminder, this week’s task WAS:

THE SITUATION: Heidi Klum arriving at Cannes in quite a jumpsuit.

THE TASK: Please pen a haiku dedicated to aforementioned jumpsuit.

And the winners are….drum roll please…..:

Piglet the Pooh:

That’s quite a jumpsuit

and it would fly if your name

was David Lee Roth.

d gable:

Heidi, methinks you

Lost your seal of approval.

Sartorially.

Bethany

Grandma’s wallpaper

Puked on Heidi. We tried, but

It wouldn’t Klum auf.

Thanks to all who entered, and winners, please check your email for details about your prize, a copy of Emily Giffin’s new book, Where We Belong!

Freaky Fug Friday: Heidi Klum

May 25, 2012 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

Warm up your writing fingers!

THE SITUATION: Heidi Klum arriving at Cannes in quite a jumpsuit.

THE TASK: Please pen a haiku dedicated to aforementioned jumpsuit.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Monday night.

THE PRIZE: We have three copies of Where We Belong, the new book by Emily Giffin — who wrote Something Borrowed, among other things. What’s it say on the back of the book? Check it: “Marian Caldwell is a thirty-six year old television producer, living her dream in New York City. With a fulfilling career and satisfying relationship, she has convinced everyone, including herself, that her life is just as she wants it to be. But one night, Marian answers a knock on the door . . . only to find Kirby Rose, an eighteen-year-old girl with a key to a past that Marian thought she had sealed off forever. From the moment Kirby appears on her doorstep, Marian’s perfectly constructed world—and her very identity—will be shaken to its core, resurrecting ghosts and memories of a passionate young love affair that threaten everything that has come to define her. For the precocious and determined Kirby, the encounter will spur a process of discovery that ushers her across the threshold of adulthood, forcing her to re-evaluate her family and future in a wise and bittersweet light. As the two women embark on a journey to find the one thing missing in their lives, each will come to recognize that where we belong is often where we least expect to find ourselves—a place that we may have willed ourselves to forget, but that the heart remembers forever.” Sounds good, right? I can’t wait to read it myself! (It’s my Memorial Day Weekend Reading Selection).

Freaky Fug Friday: THE WINNERS

May 22, 2012 By Jessica AT 11:15 am

We are pleased to announce the winners of this week’s Freaky Fug Friday, in which, if you don’t remember, I forced you to look at this:

And made you tell us what unconventional household item you would wear if you were forced to make a half-naked splash on the red carpet. Our winners, both of whom get a copy of Unbreak My Heart by Melissa Walker, are:

Jessica:

I’ll pull inspiration from Dobby the house-elf and wear a tea cozy as a fancy hat (I assume I’ll be attending the Kentucky Derby), and make a “dress” out of tied-together tea bags. That way, though of course I’ll have plenty of ventilation, if I start sweating, I will only smell of chamomile or peppermint.

AmyK:

I’d call upon my inner Claudia Kishi and fashion something out of the many, many cables in my home. TV cables. Old, forgotten VCR cables. Cell phone charger cables. Ethernet cables. Just a whole bunch of cables, wrapped around my body, as well strategically NOT wrapped in certain areas. The whole thing would then become impossibly tangled, as cables tend to do, ensuring that the whole ensemble will stay in place as I do lunges and squat-thrusts down the red carpet.

Freaky Fug Friday: Winners!

Apr 25, 2012 By Jessica AT 9:15 am

The entries for this particular FFF were AMAZING. It was incredibly tough for us to pick the top three, and I fully recommend you read all of them.

A reminder:

THE SITUATION: I can’t improve on what our photo service said about this: “Actress and star of ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Kat Graham seen performing with her band ‘The Knocks’ at the opening of the Chilli Beans Sunglasses shop in Los Angeles.” Oh, Kat Graham. Opening a Chilli Beans. I LOVE YOU.

THE TASK: This outfit is obviously straight out of 1991. Our giveaway is a book that involves magical shenanigans. Please share with us the magical incantation Kat Graham uses to time-travel so elegantly between Today and Back In the Day.

And, with no further ado, your top three! Each of these authors will get an ARC of Leigh Bardugo’s awesome Shadow and Bone. The one who wins your vote as best overall will also get a $100 gift certificate from Obsessive Complusive Cosmetics!

1) Rachel:

Gods of flannel, hear my plea
Power of denim grant to me
Spandex bike shorts, glitter boobs
Take me back to ’92
I’ve made the sacrifice, let me take the plunge
Send me back to the time of grunge

(incantation requires the burning of incense, a Troll and a fabric sunflower)

2) Mags:

Two Gin Blossoms, an eye of Kurt,
Pairs of shorts so tight they hurt,
Bedazzled boobs in dire straits,
A doorway to beyond awaits,
A borrowed flannel, combat boots,
Protection from all dark disputes,
Because when the beasties come out to play,
They’ll turn back screaming “Like… what a total Monet!”

3) Allie:

Hail spirits of a decade past
Entreat thee with this spell I cast…

Transport me to that dawn of days
When plaid and jorts were all the rage,

When Docs-not Crocs- adorned our feet
And bike shorts made the look complete.

In glitz and wire, my boobs encased
My shirt wrapped tightly ’round my waist

Transport me back through time and space
And leave me there on Melrose Place

And if one wish you’ll grant to me?
Give me the body of Demi

For should I land in fashion hell,
At least that way I’ll wear it well

O Kurt! Selena! JonBenet!
Princess Di and JFK!

I beg thee, when the stars align,
To my pager send the sign

For though it may well be a sin,
I long to wear these clothes again!

Which entry is your favorite?

Number One, by Rachel (25%, 968 Votes)
Number Two, by Mags (17%, 665 Votes)
Number Three, by Allie (58%, 2,201 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,813

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Freaky Fug Friday: Kat Graham

Apr 20, 2012 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

I love you, Kat Graham. This outfit makes me feel like I’m late for Social Studies:

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: We are giving away three advanced copies of Leigh Bardugo’s amazing new book, SHADOW AND BONE, some awesome Shadow and Bone swag, and — to the best overall entry — one $100 gift certificate to Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics. What’s the book about? Behold:

“Surrounded by enemies, the once-great nation of Ravka has been torn in two by the Shadow Fold, a swath of near impenetrable darkness crawling with monsters who feast on human flesh. Now its fate may rest on the shoulders of one lonely refugee.

Alina Starkov has never been good at anything. But when her regiment is attacked on the Fold and her best friend is brutally injured, Alina reveals a dormant power that saves his life—a power that could be the key to setting her war-ravaged country free. Wrenched from everything she knows, Alina is whisked away to the royal court to be trained as a member of the Grisha, the magical elite led by the mysterious Darkling.

Yet nothing in this lavish world is what it seems. With darkness looming and an entire kingdom depending on her untamed power, Alina will have to confront the secrets of the Grisha…and the secrets of her heart.”

I have read it, and it’s seriously fab. You guys are going to LOVE it. Good luck!

Freaky Fug Friday: Winners!

Apr 17, 2012 By Jessica AT 10:30 am

Are you ready to meet the WINNERS of last week’s giveaway of Liza Palmer’s new book, More Like Her? I am sure that you are.

As a refresher, the task was to read Christina Milian’s lips, and tell us what imaginary list she’s enumerating, and all five items on it. (For example: The List: Five Reasons I Wish I’d Married CMM: 1) An endless supply of hair gel. 2) James Lafferty’s home phone number. Etc.) At LEAST five thank yous to everyone who entered this week, and with no further ado, behold the five winners:

foo:

“5 reasons I’m perfect for the re-make of Pretty Woman

1) I got the dress, see?

2) Chick behind me got the boots

3) Jason Alexander is in my purse

4) Julia Robert’s dental double is showing me her SAG card

5) I just ate a croissant.”

Angela:

“My Plan for Taking the Fug Madness 2013 Crown:

1. Cutouts. Starting with this dress.

2. See what that Kardashian over there is wearing? I’m going to copy it and add fringe.

3. Creating the Poncho Pantsuit. It will be made out of lace.

4. Get myself onto the CW for Fug The Show.

5. You know what Lindsay Lohan’s problem is? She dresses too demure. I’ll show her how it’s done.”

Erin:

“5 Potential Names for My Inevitable Clothing Line:

1) Colors A-Milian

2) Lycra A-Milian

3) Leotards A-Milian

4) Swirls A-Milian

5) Cutouts A-Milian”

Becca:

“Are you ready? Here we go! So I acted in “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” with Number 1, Nick Cannon. He’s married to Number 2, Mariah Carey, who starred in “Glitter” with Number 3, Da Brat, who recorded a song for “Precious,” which also had Number 4, Lenny Kravitz, who acted in “The Hunger Games” with Number 5, Jennifer Lawrence, who was in X-Men: First Class with Kevin Bacon! See? It works every time!”

TonyG:

“So, I wore this to a party given by my BFF, J.Lo, who dared me that I could not be the first person to score five different categories with one outfit on GFY. So, I said, Hola, hater! What about what I have on right now? It’s almost, but not quite worthy of Crotchtacular, but I am so gonna be listed in:

1. WTF

2. The Evils of Satin

3. Accessories to the Crime

4. Pattern Problems

5. Oh, Honey No!”

Check your email for how to collect your prize!