Fug File: Freaky Fug Friday

Freaky Fug Friday: Christina Milian

Apr 13, 2012 By Jessica AT 9:30 am

And the books just keep on coming!

THE SITUATION:  Christina Milian, waiting for her car at the valet. Giving the hand to a girl whose outfit I just realizes seems to involve a swimsuit. But she’s not our concern….not yet.

THE TASK:  Christina looks as thought she just listed off five items, finger by finger. What are they? What she needs to get at the grocery store? Her reasons for wearing what I suspect is a vintage 80s Hypercolor dress from Wet Seal? Her plan for invigorating her career? Her regrets at not marrying Chad Michael Murray when they co-starred in that ABC Family movie together? Read her lips, and tell us what imaginary list she’s enumerating, and all five items on it. (For example: The List: Five Reasons I Wish I’d Married CMM: 1) An endless supply of hair gel. 2) James Lafferty’s home phone number. Etc.)

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: Yay! This is a good one. We’re giving away 5 copies of Liza Palmer’s new book, MORE LIKE HER (US and Canadian residents only).  What’s it about? BEHOLD:

“What really goes on behind those perfect white picket fences?

In Frances’s mind, beautiful, successful, ecstatically married Emma Dunham is the height of female perfection. Frances, recently dumped with spectacular drama by her boyfriend, aspires to be just like Emma….Yet sometimes the golden dream you fervently wish for turns out to be not at all what it seems—like Emma’s enviable suburban postcard life, which is about to be brutally cut short by a perfect husband turned killer. And in the shocking aftermath, three devastated friends are going to have to come to terms with their own secrets . . . and somehow learn to move forward after their dream is exposed as a lie.”

I have read it myself, and I think you guys will really enjoy it. It’s about relationships and friendships and break-ups and work and hot dudes and a little bit about BBQ, and it’s a really good read (it’s also all set in my hometown, which I extra-enjoyed).  I hope you win!

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MESSY Monday Giveaway

Apr 9, 2012 By Jessica AT 11:00 am

We are so stoked about this giveaway.  As we mentioned in our 10,000th post, Heather and I have a new book coming out (so if you’ve been meaning to pick up the first one, Spoiled, now is a good time). The great Mindy Kaling blurbed it, and everything. We are excited:

It’s called Messy, it’s a follow-up to Spoiled (with all the usual suspects present and accounted for — Brooke, Molly, Teddy, and, obviously, Brick Berlin, given that he’s never met a sequel in which he didn’t feel the need to star), and it comes out June 5th, 2012, just in time for y’all to read it by the pool accompanied by a be-umbrellaed beverage. What is it about? Let’s take a squizz at the back cover:

Now that Brooke’s caught a taste of fame and her movie star father’s attention, she wants to launch a blog that will position her as the ultimate Hollywood insider. But between schoolwork, party-planning committee meetings, and spa treatments, she hardly has the time to write it herself…
Enter Max McCormack, an aspiring author with a terrible after-school job pushing faux meat on the macrobiotic masses of La-La Land. Max reluctantly agrees to play Brooke’s ghost-blogger for an impressive salary, and the site takes off, but how long can their lie last? In person, Brooke can’t live up to the intellectual wit of openbrooke.com, and Max soon begins to resent hiding her genius behind a bandage dress-wearing blonde. Can the girls work together to stay on top, or will the truth come out and ruin everything they’ve built?
You will have to buy the book to find out… unless, of course, you win this giveaway. Heather and I are giving away three (3) Advanced Reading Copies this week! (You’ll even get the original cover.)
THE TASK: Please compose an acrostic of the word MESSY — as a reminder, an acrostic is a poem in which the first letter of each line spells a word when read vertically, in this case, MESSY (so the first letter of the first line would be an M). The subject of your poem is the Hollywood star who has, in your opinion, the messiest closet/personal life/car/yacht/career. Extra points for originality (in other words, unless the 75th poem about Lindsay Lohan is really, really tremendous, it will probably not win).

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on THURSDAY NIGHT. This contest is open to ALL READERS. If I have to mail this thing to Siberia, I will.

THE PRIZE: I just told you, dude. An ARC of Messy. Autographed and everything!

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Freaky Fug Friday: Results!

Mar 13, 2012 By Jessica AT 2:00 pm

We have winners! As a reminder, here was the picture:

And here was the challenge:

THE TASK: We haven’t done a haiku recently — due to not having done one of these in a while — so polish your 5-7-5 skillz and pen us a bitching haiku about K Stew that includes the words “vampire,” “leather” and “toes.”

And here are our winners! Each of you will be getting  copy of Abby McDonald’s new book, Getting Over Garrett Delaney.  If you’re a winner, please look for an email from us so we can get your deets! And thanks to all who entered — there were so many great entries!

Diane:
Freeing those vampire
toes from all that leather is
a big Fashion Don’t.

Jen:
Leather shoes with pants
Shants? Hipster vampire, she has
Claus-TOES-phobia
CMoney:
Toes can breathe freely
Spring Volturi Vampire
Leather Collection
jjdaddyo:
Bloody Vampire Toes
Clenched, Sweaty Leather Nethers
Get Me Vagisil
foo:
From Nosfera Toe
Leather Vampire Collection
You too can have sole

CONGRATS to all the winners!

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Freaky Fug Friday: Kristen Stewart

Mar 9, 2012 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

And it’s BACK. Are you ready to win some books? I know you are. Thanks for helping us out with this, K Stew:

THE SITUATION:  Kristen Stewart, leaving (or heading to) the Balenciaga show in Paris, and POSSIBLY wearing shoes that are attached to her leather leggings, like you do. I’m wearing some now! (By which I mean, I’m wearing yoga pants.)

THE TASK: We haven’t done a haiku recently — due to not having done one of these in a while — so polish your 5-7-5 skillz and pen us a bitching haiku about K Stew that includes the words “vampire,” “leather” and “toes.” You can do it. Have some more coffee.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: Five of you (5)* will win a copy of Abby McDonald’s new book, Getting Over Garrett Delaney.  What’s it about? Amazon tells us:

“Seventeen-year-old Sadie is in love: epic, heartfelt, and utterly onesided. The object of her obsession – ahem, affection – is her best friend, Garrett Delaney, who has been oblivious to Sadie’s feelings ever since he sauntered into her life and wowed her with his passion for Proust [...] But when Garrett leaves for a summer literary retreat, Sadie is sure that the absence will make his heart grow fonder – until he calls to say he’s fallen in love. [...] A heartbroken Sadie realizes that she’s finally had enough. It’s time for total Garrett detox.“

It’s super cute, and I know you’ll enjoy it!

*Unfortunately, this contest is open to US residents only.

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Freaky Fug Friday: Rihanna, With A Prize

Dec 2, 2011 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

And the giveaways are BACK, this time with a shopping flavor. We can’t wait to see what you come up with for one. Oh, RIHANNA:

THE SITUATION:  Rihanna, filming a music video in London, and wearing every accessory known to man.

THE TASK:  Given that the accessories herein are — to employ a well-used pun — the literal accessories to her fashion crime, please name the crime novel in which Rihanna, wearing this outfit, would be a protagonist.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: It’s a good one! And very appropriate given that we’re talking about accessories. ShoeMint is giving away a credit to one lucky reader (US only this time) for any pair of shoes you like — currently, they’re featuring Rachel Bilson’s line (Hart of Dixie-style shorts to go with your shoes are up to you to track down). Who doesn’t love shoes, you guys? So have at it!

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Freaky Fug Friday Spooooooky Winners

Oct 31, 2011 By Heather AT 10:30 am

Three lucky poets are going to receive a copy of the macabre Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer, which reimagines the story of Serena and Blair as if they were serial murderers (seriously, Serena’s first chapter makes no bones about her being a casual lunatic — a dude’s head might have ended up on top of a snowman, and yet no, that’s not really a spoiler).

As a review, I asked you to consider this photo (which people have suggested is Aaron Johnson growing out his hair not for Savages, but Anna Karenina, which I did not notice on his IMDb page until too late) and write an acrostic poem about it whose coded message is something scary.


 [Photo: Flynet]

Your three winners are:

1) TonyG - SNOW IN OCTOBER
So on the eve of All Hallows
Now we have to ponder this:
On a rather handsome man,
What hideousness sits atop his lips
Is it a Guy Fawkes tribute?
No, it cannot be.
Of course it could be a sexy tool.
Clearly a stache this waxy and wiry,
To his wife, might an aphrodisiac be.
Oh, to have one’s cobwebs cleaned,
By something so itchy and scary.
Every one, I suppose, deserves a Halloween treat.
Remember, though, to make mine not so hairy.
2) Kathleen - TIGHTS ARE PANTS
The suspect
Is never
Going to
Hand himself over
To the authorities,
So we must call for help.
Aaron Johnson is a
Really avid Sherlock Holmes fan. He
Even grew a mustache to get into character.
Perchance he could help?
Anything is possilbe to a man with
Nice hair like his.
This case will be closed as
Soon as he finds his pipe.
3) NumberSix – DEATH BY ENNUI
Dear children, a mystery to ponder:
Enter our protagonist,
Aspiring Evil Villain,
Too glassy-eyed to realize
His face-fur is more suited to a
Brothel patron on leave from
Ye olde general store.
Elder brother Snidely
Nabs all the supervillain glory,
Not-quite-so-Eeevil Smugly is too
Unconcerned to live.
Is apathy a killer?
Congrats! A creepy copy of Psycho Killer will wing its way to you soon.
Thanks so much to everyone who entered, and we promise we’ll keep the giveaways coming.

 

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