Fug File: Freaky Fug Friday

Freaky Fug Friday: Lady Gaga and a giveaway

Oct 7, 2011 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

Another week, another kick-ass prize. Get your thinking buns on, Fug Nation:

THE SITUATION:  Gaga’s just bein’ Gaga. Green bun — extra appropriate, given this week’s prize! — doily dress, nipples akimbo, and a wrap made of cotton candy. You know. Tuesday.

THE TASK:  This week, we’re giving away five copies of the new book Bunheads, which is about an elite ballet dancer (see below for details). To that end, please title the ballet that will eventually be created, based on the dramatic life and times of Lady Gaga, and explain what happens during the segment in which this outfit will make an appearance.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.  Open to residents of US and Canada only this time — or, technically, open to people who have a current mailing address in the US or Canada (if you’re living in Belize but coming back for Christmas, enter!).

THE PRIZE: Sophie Flack’s Bunheads (you may recognize Sophie as the lovely blonde up there next to Josh Charles in his Hotness Retrospectfug). Which we hear is fantastic. Amazon says: “As a dancer with the ultra-prestigious Manhattan Ballet Company, nineteen-year-old Hannah Ward juggles intense rehearsals, dazzling performances and complicated backstage relationships. Up until now, Hannah has happily devoted her entire life to ballet. But when she meets a handsome musician named Jacob, Hannah’s universe begins to change, and she must decide if she wants to compete against the other “bunheads” in the company for a star soloist spot or strike out on her own in the real world. Does she dare give up the gilded confines of the ballet for the freedoms of everyday life?” Look. You KNOW how we feel about ballet stories (see: Center Stage, and also, see Center Stage). How could this be anything less than awesome?

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Freaky Fug Friday: Winners!

Oct 4, 2011 By Jessica AT 12:30 pm

Remember when KimKard went bowling wearing this, and I asked you to named the title of her self-penned romance novel? Sure you do!

A round of applause for our five winners:

Elizabeth:
The Rear-End of Innocence (a cheeky romp through the classics)
currygirl:
He Loves Me Knot: the True Story between Me and My Kredit Kard
Julia:
The Paparazzo’s Fervid Viktim
Shawnie:
Thar She Bowls: Kaptain Fanny’s Lucky Strike
Nicole B.:
Katching Kandida: A tale of piracy, love, and a wicked yeast infection.
Are you a winner? Congrats — and check your email for details on how to collect your awesome prize, Sarah Wendell’s Everything I Know About Love, I Learned From Romance Novels. Thanks to all who entered, as this was a PARTICULARLY difficult choice.
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Freaky Fug Friday: Kardashian Edition

Sep 30, 2011 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

Well, what do YOU wear bowling?!

THE SITUATION:  No, seriously. Kim Kardashian is seriously wearing this bowling. All I know is, I hope she has socks in her bag.

THE TASK: Given our awesome prize this week — more on that below — and the fact that Kim Kardashian a) clearly believes herself to be the star of a Great Romance, given the Dramatic Trappings of her insanely over-the-top wedding and b) she’s wearing pants a pirate would feel comfortable sporting whilst out trolling for wenches, paired with a shirt that appears to involve crinoline, please provide us with the title of the romance novel she is probably currently writing about herself. You KNOW this book is coming, you guys. Don’t be in denial.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: This is a good one! Sarah Wendell, of Smart Bitches, Trashy Books (one of our favorite sites) has penned Everything I Know About Love, I Learned From Romance Novels. Amazon says, “Take a dashing hero with a heart of gold and a mullet of awesome. Add a heroine with a bustle and the will to kick major butt. Then include enough contrivances to keep them fighting while getting them alone and possibly without key pieces of clothing, and what do you have? A romance novel…Straight from the heart of influential romance blogger Sarah Wendell, this inventive gift book provides the best wisdom about love that the romance genre has to offer.” Having read it, I can tell you that the book is totally cheeky and charming and I think you will like it, especially if you’re a fan of Ye Olde Bodice Ripper (who isn’t?).  Five of you (five!) with the best entries will win a copy! So get to work.

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Freaky Fug Friday: WINNERS!

Aug 30, 2011 By Jessica AT 11:30 am

Behold, the five winning entries in this week’s Freaky Fug Friday contest!

By Cassie:
Elephants on my hips
Baby, try to watch my lips!
Fishnets make it feel
Like the perfect 90′s hooker deal!

By Lupe:
I’m a rhinestone cowgirl
with Britney’s fishnet thighs
Alexis Carrington’s pearls
and Taylor Momsen’s eyes.

By Soronia:
Your love creeps like my shorts
Blinging toward my sternum
But my love is like denim and pearls:
I wish I could return ‘em.

By Lena Lamont:
Sky high booty and low rise booties
Take a look at this bling and a peek at my goodies
Can you feel the Hazzard, honey?
Cuz I’m givin’ Daisy Duke a run for her money.

By AlmostBluefin:
Oh, Daddy Warbucks don’t be mad
I stole this jewelry from your granny,
You can’t resist these jazzy hands
‘Cause I’ll always be your Annie.

An excellent handful of winners from an excellent pool of submissions! Enjoy your copy of Gretchen McNeil’s new book, Possess -- and check your email so we can get your mailing address!

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Freaky Fug Friday, August 26th, 2011

Aug 26, 2011 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

And it’s back! This week, we’ve got an excellent prize. READ ON.

THE SITUATION:  Rihanna — looking pretty cute considering what she is actually wearing — sings her little heart out.

THE TASK: Please tell us what she could possibly be singing here, in NO MORE THAN four lines of original lyrics.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: This week, we’ve got a great giveaway: FIVE (5) copies of Gretchen McNeil’s new book, POSSESS. What’s it about? In short: Teen exorcist! In long, Amazon says: “Fifteen-year-old Bridget Liu just wants to be left alone: by her over-protective mom, by Matt Quinn, the cute son of a local police sergeant, and by the eerie voices she can suddenly and inexplicably hear. Unfortunately for Bridget, the voices are demons—and Bridget possesses the rare ability to banish them back to whatever hell they came from. Literally.” I’ve read this book, and I can vow that it is, indeed, quite awesome (and scary).  Get lyric-writing, and maybe you’ll win a copy!

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Freaky Fug Friday: June 24th, 2011

Jun 24, 2011 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

Look how pensive Gaga is here:

All wig, tea cup, fake lashes and feather bra. Who WOULDN’T be thoughtful? But whatever could she be thinking?

THE SITUATION: Gaga’s just bein’ Gaga. At a press conference in Japan with a tea cup. Didn’t we agree that her tea cup affectation was to be retired? NO ONE LISTENS TO ME.

THE TASK: Please read her mind, and communicate to us her inner monologue at this moment.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: We are giving away a copy of Bloodthirsty to all three finalists! What is it about?  If I may quote from Good Reads: “Some vampires are good. Some are evil. Some are faking it to get girls. Awkward and allergic to the sun, sixteen-year-old Finbar Frame never gets the girl. But when he notices that all the female students at his school are obsessed with a vampire romance novel called Bloodthirsty, Finbar decides to boldly go where no sane guy has gone before–he becomes a vampire, minus the whole blood sucking part. With his brooding nature and weirdly pale skin, it’s surprisingly easy for Finbar to pretend to be paranormal. But, when he meets the one girl who just might like him for who he really is, he discovers that his life as a pseudo-vampire is more complicated than he expected. This hilarious debut novel is for anyone who believes that sometimes even nice guys-without sharp teeth or sparkly skin–can get the girl.” I have read this, and I can indeed attest to that fact that it’s quite charming. And, hello, what better prize for a contest about Gaga than one featuring a poseur vampire?

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