Fug File: Fug Madness

The first game is in three hours, and Justin Bieber — everyone’s favorite to win this sucker — has SHOCKED THE WORLD by being ELIMINATED in decisive style. He was symbolically pantsed by the Queen of Preen, Lady Gaga, receiving only ONE percent of the vote. This can be considered one massive “Aye” vote in the worldwide referendum on his pants, and so we hereby heartily endorse everybody wearing diaper-leggings for the next calendar year. Think of all the room for snack storage; you won’t need to carry a purse. The handbag industry is officially ON NOTICE.

… Yeah, okay, that’s all I had in the April Fool’s Day tank, and admittedly it was pretty lame. I know I didn’t actually trick ANY of you, since most of you out there probably thought, “Wait, I KNOW I wasn’t the only one who voted for Bieber…” Rest assured, Fug Nation, Justin is still in the contest, and diaper-leggings are still putrid. They’re not pants; they’re PERILOUS. Happy April 1.

Here’s who’s playing today and tomorrow — yes, including the Bieb — and how they got there:

(1) RITA ORA vs. (10) ZOSIA MAMET- Today

Rita Ora got a real test from Jessie J, but in the end, most of you decided you had a soft spot for Jessie, and so Rita advances with 55 percent of the votes being cast in her favor. Zosia is the last of the Girls still standing, sweeping past the Sev with 68 percent of the vote.

let the floating bjork head make you smile