PEOPLE OF THE WORLD:
[Photo: Splash News]
You know how there’s that old gag about tagging the words, “in bed” to the end of every fortune cookie’s fortune? Like I had one last night informing me that my personal happiness lies in achieving my professional goals. Which is much more salacious if I am achieving said goals….IN BED. I propose that the GFY version of that involves adding the words, “look into pants,” to every Spice Girls song lyric that comes to mind until our sweet lady Ginger here gets the message.
“People of the world: look into pants! Every boy and every girl: LOOK INTO PANTS!”
“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta LOOK INTO PANTS!”
“Come a little bit closer, baby, get it on, get it on. Cause TONIGHT is the NIGHT that we LOOK INTO PANTS.”
“I’m giving you every thing/ All that joy can bring/ This I swear./ And, all that I want from you/ Is a promise you will LOOK INTO PANTS.”
And so forth. I understand that Ginger might think — being British — that we are imploring her to wear knickers rather than trousers, but considering how perilous her situation appears in this photo, I think we’d love it if she was sure to wear BOTH, no? I thought so. Now, go forth and sing.