Fug File: Unfug It Up

Unfug It Up: Jennifer Love Hewitt

Oct 8, 2012 By Heather AT 2:00 pm

If we’ve learned anything from the Emmys, it’s that this is a tough color to wear correctly.

And this is not the way to do it — it’s the wrong combination of consumptive makeup and a whole lot of dress. We here at GFY HQ have a major soft spot for J.Lo.Hew and she’s had a tough year, so we don’t blame her for trying to inject a little sunshine via a day-glo demi-caftan. In fact, we applaud her for resisting the urge to go full caftan and bunny slippers. But, in the Fantasy Stylist spirit: I think I’d fix this by snipping either the sleeves or the skirt, just so there’s less of all the glaring yellow, then prescribe a red lip. But really, it probably needs to be a richer, gentler yellow — more dijon than canary. What would you do, Fug Nation? Embrace her with your tender healing aura.

[Photo: WENN]

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Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks

Oct 5, 2012 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

Oh god. I just can not even:

For some reason, the use of green in the words “Specsavers” on the step-and-repeat behind Christina made me think this was some kind of eco-fundraiser — you know, Save the Foliage or Protect The Hedgerow — and I seriously reflected, “OH, of COURSE. She’s wearing something that’s meant to look like fungus ON PURPOSE because ENVIRONMENT.” Then I realized it was more like she was wearing glasses on purpose because: SPECS. That being said, I think this can be saved. Me, I’d make the hem even — I really, sincerely hate this uneven hem on this dress, because it feels like Shenanigans for the Sake of Shenanigans, which rarely actually translates to Hotness — and then I’d rip that collar off, set it on fire, and throw the flaming debris into a Porta-Potty and then shove the Porta-Potty off a cliff.

Your turn.

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Unfug It Up: Leigh Lezark

Oct 2, 2012 By Heather AT 2:00 pm

The lady in the front row is probably just trying NOT to focus on the fact that she’s in all these pictures. But the facial expression she settled on is pretty much the one I’m wearing right now.

That is a LOT of head-to-toe pattern. Especially when both pieces are cut (and pressed) for an eighty-year old and you are not even thirty. So your challenge, Fug Nation, is to decide when and how the pattern can be salvaged. I’d lop off most of the sleeves and keep them at a cap style, I think, and then throw her some skinny leather pants and tell her to LIVE, dammit, LIVE, because she has PLENTY of years ahead and thus can be Crazy Madge from Palm Beach much later in life. What would you do?

[Photo: Splash]

 

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Unfug or Fab: Jessica Alba

Oct 1, 2012 By Heather AT 12:00 pm

This outfit makes me think of Cher Horowitz (and others, I’m sure, but she is one of my spirit animals… she’s in my spirit menagerie) calling something a Monet.

In the thumbnail, I thought, “Groovy.” And then I saw the larger version, and when viewed closer and in clearer relief, the pants proportions seem a wee Hammer and there’s some kind of sports bra/dickey happening under the blouse. Oh, and she’s wearing an actual pony’s entire tail. I’m thinking an A for concept and a C for execution. My first move is to rip off the horse’s rump clippings, and I might want to swap in a skinny leather pant with a lower rise. And scrap the dickey. Nobody should have to type that word.

Would you touch this?

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[Photo: Getty]

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Emmy Awards Unfug It Up: Emilia Clarke

Sep 25, 2012 By Heather AT 6:00 am

What you can’t tell from the pictures is that the dress had an almost quilted look to it. Or at least textured fabric.

And much like a Bounty towel, it also appeared to have picked up traces of dirt here and there, which I guess is the risk of wearing white at one of those things. Lucky for her you can’t tell that from the shots; sadly, you can still tell that the outfit needs some help that its Chanel makers didn’t provide. That overlay is a messy idea that’s undercutting what I think is nice about the outfit. If you ripped off that sucker and kept it as a cocktail dress, it’d be pretty. If you ripped off that sucker and then extended the part underneath all the way down to the ground, it would be striking and lovely. If you sewed together that sucker and then brought it down to the ground, it might be fine. Whatever. The point is, do something to that sucker instead of letting it sucker you. What would you do?

Also: Let’s change the shoes. Can we agree on that?

[Photo: Getty]

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Unfug It Up: Janet Montgomery

Sep 20, 2012 By Heather AT 2:00 pm

Janet here is a British actress who stars on that new CBS show that I call Faaaancy Laaaaady Laaaaawyer because of this one really annoying line in the promo, and which is basically the premise, “What if Mona Lisa Vito Became An Attorney And Started Shopping At Ann Taylor?” And indeed, in the promo reel, she’s all soft suits and flowing hair and Jersey-lite, ready to take the legal world by storm and prove to them you CAN have a curling iron and still win in court.

And at the CBS fall season event, she went in a more severe direction. (I actually kept thinking this was Ashley Greene.) It’s a bit less Fancy Lady Lawyer than Fancy Lady Dominatrix Getting Dressed Up To Testify. There’s something cool here in the outfit — specifically, the skirt — but we need to solve this unfortunate mammarial shine problem (Mammarial Shine Problem — band name, mark it down). If it weren’t turning her torso into an ad for nipple patches, and it didn’t have only half a collar, we might be in business. This doesn’t fix the problem of the shoes, which make her feet look like she’s either standing en pointe or devoid of toes, but… one thing at a time. Although actually, no: ALL things at a time. Solve it all. Do you just change the material of the top so it’s opaque, or do you cut in a bit of a neckline also? Sleeveless or sleeved? And what shoes would you put with it? Do you inject color or keep the dark theme? And did you also think it was Ashley Greene, and then realize with surprise that we’ve arrived at a place where Ashley Greene is somebody we know enough to mistake other people for? And wasn’t that some awkward syntax?

[Photo: Getty]

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