Damn it, Paltrow:
This dress is adorable and the fact that your hair looks ever-so-slightly crazed makes you seem more approachable than usual. (Don’t worry, I know you are NOT.) Why must you always remind me that somewhere, way down deep inside me, behind the place where I keep the Cheetos and next to that part of me which will always sing the theme song to One Tree Hill with too much gusto in the shower, I like you just the way you are? And I think you are very pretty. CURSES. Now, hurry up and write a GOOP full of advice like, “When I’m staying at a hotel in London for some reason I can’t quite think of — oh! Say my giant house is being fumigated because the silverfish are eating the piles of money under the bed — then I like to stay at this wee gem of a hotel called Claridge’s!” so I can get my humors in balance again.
[Photo: Pacific Coast News]