Call this one the Battle of the Bobs, or the Case of the Wet-Look Black Sequined Dresses, although frankly that last one sounds way more boring. It’s like the sequel to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, if that movie were about accessories.
Anyway, let’s start with Rose Byrne, shall we?
The trouble with this gown, I think, is that it’s cut to be Grecian and drapey, except sequins generally don’t really DO Grecian and drapey, so the effect is just ill-fitting. Like someone just skipped a stone on a lake and it’s still rippling. Also, I know the shoes are peep-toe platform pumps, but from this angle they remind me of these hideous thick-soled slip-on sandals I bought at Nine West about fourteen years ago, back when such things were in style. I had buyer’s remorse about three days later; they were like rubberized hooves. I’m surprised I didn’t get drunk one night and turn up at a blacksmith’s. So now I have an awkward flashback associated with this dress, and I covet the spiky shoes of the lady walking through the background. Neither will be cured anytime soon, so let’s wash away the taste with a shot of the back: