Dear Brooke, Thank you for wearing a bra. Thank you. But… do you not understand how bras and shirts work together?
[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]
BLACK bra, Brooke. BLACK. Not white. Not even off-white. Black. You can get a very comfortable one for under $40 at Victoria’s Secret. Would you like me to take you there? Do you need me to put a black bra in your hand and explain to you what it is, and what its advantages are? And if I do that, can I trust you not to turn around and wear it under a white shirt? I don’t think I can, can I? Look, you might have to just call me. I can make you a bra chart. Because clearly, you’re not going to get this on your own. Relentless in my crusade to make sure Hollywood and The Bra can coexist in harmony, Heather
Comments (62):
I’ll take her girls in white any day over the floppy skuglies below.
Wrong bra, but still gorgeous. You are picky, picky, picky.
I don’t think she’s being too picky. especially when it’s a pretty shear top to begin with. She should really know this by now. Maybe her crucial bra education years were interfered with when she was using her teen years to make movies about half naked pubescent castaways.
She’s so pretty. And I think I even see a wrinkle in her forehead, which is a rarity in celebrities these days. Maybe she didn’t realize what was going on with the bra. I know I’ve mis-bra’d before and didn’t realize it until too late. I’m going to tell myself that’s what happened.
And what’s written on her necklace? Is that Rowan? Who is s/he?
What’s on her necklace?
That’s not Brooke Shields, THAT’S A MAN, BABY!
Sorry, her features look really masculine to me in this picture, and I couldn’t resist!
Rowan is her daughter’s name.
Heather, maybe you could go through her closet and hang the black bras and black shirts together and the white bras and white shirts together. Or maybe you could get her some tags so she can match the zebras or elephants or giraffes together like we did when we were kids?
The ultimate solution though would be to avoid wearing sheer fabrics at all times.
But hey, even a visible bra’s a step forward.
Name chains are so 1999. I digress, I think the actresses of Hollywood are on to this website. Look at Brooke’s facial expression. Look closely. She’s got the Mischa Barton and Regina King “I’m gonna get you sucka fugladies” look down cold. I can hear her saying: “Bitch, I wore this shiny white bra under a sheer black top to a fancy fancy charity event I knew the press would be at. Why? Just so I could get on gofugyourself. Yeah, I like to be held up to ridicule. You got a problem with that, bitch? I didn’t think so.”
Either that, or she’s paying a fitting homage to the Blue Lagoon, where she couldn’t find matching clothes in her castaway trunk, and was forced to wear white underwear as outerwear, and thought the white underwear should be seen at all costs. Although better to be on gofugyourself than to be Christopher Atkins, who was last seen selling a fishing lure (not kidding).
We should just be glad she kept her top on. I had a poli sci professor who had taught her and complained that when she (the prof) would take students outside for discussion section on a nice day, Brooke would take her shirt off and sun herself in a bikini while the rest of the class tried to talk about the social contract and political theory. Who can compete with that?
We should just be glad she kept her top on. I had a poli sci professor who had taught her and complained that when she (the prof) would take students outside for discussion section on a nice day, Brooke would take her shirt off and sun herself in a bikini while the rest of the class tried to talk about the social contract and political theory. Who can compete with that?
Her mama did not raise her right.
The bra is bad, but some of the atrocities on this site are so appalling that I feel like hugging her for looking and dressing her age (and proving that “post-pubescent” doesn’t translate into “frumpy” )and generally not offending at the level of the usual fug…..
Actually, what she really needs is a BEIGE bra that matches her skin. I know from experience (as a fellow pasty-white person) that a black bra under a sheer top like that will simply result in a highly visible black bra outlined under a meshy-looking shirt. I have a tank top made out of fabric much like that, and have worn it successfully on many occasions with my trusty beige bra. It looks very sexy without being at all revealing – your curves are on display, not your underwear. Black bra? Not so much.
Sigh. Digital cameras with flash a cheap, people. Get your stylist to take your pic and see if your slightly sheer top/dress, while demure in normal lighting, goes see-thru in flash of one camera, then figure it’ll completely disappear under the countless flashes of the press pool.
Has Geena, J.Lo, and one of Kerry’s daughter’s taught us nothing? Flash test your chest!
http://mapage.noos.fr/necrofries/Geena%20Davis/8129GeenaDavis.jpg
http://www.eonline.com/Features/Awards/Oscars2001/FashionPolice/index.htm
Are the press just using super-strong flashes these days? Seriously, what’s up with this see-through clothes issue? Is it because clothes aren’t lined as much anymore, or has photography entered the x-ray realm? 2005–The Year of the Accidental Underwear.
This must be some sort of paparazzi conspiracy to liven up the boring dressers. I think the Fug girls need to investigate this trend and report back to us. (I’d do it myself, but I’m too busy trying to locate my black bra. I misplace it all the time, too, Brooke.)
Please please please will you gals post the Fug Girls’ Bra Chart? Complete with fug examples of what happens when you don’t follow it?
Oh for Pete’s sake! The woman is absolutely beautiful. And maybe it was laundry day! Something tells me that she isn’t one of those pretentious stars with tons of “staff.” Perhaps, just perhaps, she is like each and every one of us who throws on the bra that is clean once in a while until you can get the rest of the laundry done!
Blogellulah! PTL! Praise the ladies!
I thought that was Andre Agassi’s chrome dome poking through!
Is Brooke starring in a new sitcom, “Mad about Everything” or “Just Shoot Everyone” ???
Or should GFY remake her sitcom as “Suddenly Sanctions” and each week have Heather and Jess prevent her or other celebs from dressing Fug.
This is my first visit. You actually have a whole blog about women’s dresses. Wow. Feminism is alive I tell you alive. After Bill Clinton’s blog this must be the shallowest of mental farts in the blogosphere.
http://billclintondailydiary.blogspot.com
she used to not have boobs, hence not much need for a bra, so perhaps this whole bra/shirt matching stuff is still a little foreign to her. send her a memo.
That bra is just not right. And she’s starting to get that masculine, stringy, carb-free, Broadway-fossil look (see Chita Rivera for more info).
Yeccch – she used to be so pretty, before she turned into a man.
Wait-she forgot to put on a color correct bra, yet she remembered to put on her “Brooke”necklace? If she’s so dim that she’s in danger of forgetting her name,then why not wear an ankle bracelet that says,”please match bra to top?”Suddenly Susan looks like an IDIOT.
Puhleeeez. This is the lamest fug yet. You can’t possibly be running low on fodder. Get with the program girls.
I would say a nude bra. Wearing black under black has the same effect as wearing white under white. It’s totally visible. She needs to find a bra that matches her skin tone, then this would not happen. She’s so pretty, by the way.
I’m going to have to go w/ the “too much flash” explanation. It’s a bra. It happens.
Btw, I think she looks frikkin’ fabulous (although slightly annoyed), especially after viewing the abomination below.
This seems a little petty to me, too. And the comments that she looks stringy and mannish – what, because she hasn’t succumbed to the Botox and actually has a facial expression? Jeez.
I second beige as opposed to black bra, for all the reasons mentioned. And I just have to add that for some reason all I could think of is how silly she’d look if she went to a club that still thinks blacklights are cool; that always used to crack me up, when you could see someone’s bra glowing blue through their too-sheer top. Ahh, good times, good times.
You can get a comfortable bra at Victoria’s Secret? Really! Tell me how. The last time I read Limited Brands’ financials, Victoria’s Secrets was dedicated to overpriced and badly made goods.
Please tell me this was a one-time lapse on the part of the Fugsterettes!
I think the Fug Gals are just trying to calm and dull our senses after the fugtrauma that assaulted our eyes earlier today. The pettiness of this fug is pleasantly refreshing after the horror show that is ashley arabo. I was completely relieved to see a bra and a shirt, sheer though it may be, as well as freshly washed, shiny, healthy hair. I think I heard my eyeballs cheering.
Is anyone else totally tickled by the blogger who essentially accused us of murdering feminism by blogging about women’s dresses? Who says feminists can’t enjoy a little brain candy now and then? Anyway, as a feminist who enjoys my daily fugtherapy, I enjoyed it immensely.
With all of the fugliness we are exposed to on a daily basis — the Britneys, Bai Lings, J.Los, and Ashlees of the world, plus that horror (Ashley Arabo) that was posted last night and kept me up for hours with recurrent nightmares –
this one is too picky.
I, too, vote for a flesh-toned bra under a sheer top of any color. The Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy seamless push-up bra in Warm Nude is your friend. And mine.
What a gorgeous MAN!
I’m no fashionista, I admit that. But, really, how is it possible that anyone could be this clueless?
Yes, she is quite the natural beauty, but sorry, there’s not enough Botox in the world to take away that mannish look that God gave her. Speaking as one who also has the big caterpillar eyebrows, it would help if they had some shape to them, and would definitely soften that hard look.
As for finding comfortable bras at Vickie’s, see me. I’ve got two full drawers of ‘em.
P.S. Who the hell names their girl ‘Rowan’?
Another vote for a flesh-colored bra. I’m unutterably tired of visible lingerie. Black bras show through sheer black clothes. But at least Brooke’s bra fits and does the job in all other respects.
BREAKING NEWS…brooke shields and maria shriver were twin boys separated at birth!
Umm … If I just saw a little cutout of those eyes, I’d swear on the life of my cat that they were a mans.
Lookin’ pretty husky – maybe she wants to remind people that she has breasts??
Weird. Whenever I look at the photo, I hear Billy Joel’s “My Life.”
Rancor, I can tell it’s your first visit, because you haven’t a clue about this site.
I feel that criticizing female celebrites who: dress like sex objects, wear garments that ensure they will never be considered intelligent or taken seriously, who starve themselves half to teath to conform to an unrealistic ideal, and who willingly undergo mutilation at the hands of unscrupulous plastic surgeons is honorable work for anyone who calls herself a feminist.
I apologize for the run-on sentence. But never for Heather, Jessica, or the comments at this site.
Others have mentioned it, but when the Official Fug Girls Bra Chart is created please take note:
Underwear Rule #1: beige/flesh toned bras and underpants under white clothes. You can totally see white under white and believe me, it ain’t sexy.
I have a very good friend that didn’t know that her bra showed through her shirt under bright light until she got her photos back from the mall. She was shocked and horrified as well she should be– Brooke probably didn’t know, the casual look wouldn’t have shown it. But I agree– get a $100 digital camera and check before leaving the house!
Am I wrong but isn’t Brooke taking on manly features?
Compared to the blue-footed booby below, this is nuthin’.
I mean, if I still worked in an office and someone came into work like this, I might look twice, but I’m just applauding her for wearing a bra at all.
If you people don’t stop fugging Brooke, don’t you know she is so going to beat you all up?:)
A Fug Girls Bra Chart would be AWESOME!! Start w/ Mrs. Tom Hanks, move over to Kirsten and Maggie, segue through Courtney (with the green bra on the outside of her tank top) and end up with someone wearing appropriate underwear. Who that would be in Hollywood, I have no idea.
Seriously, Brookie hon, LAYER your sheer tops. Say, 2 or 3 at a time. But at least she is wearing a good, sturdy bra to hold her girls up.
According to IMDB Brooke is facing her 40th birthday in May. (She is also billed as “Worst Actress of the 20th century”)
This does not look like the Brooke I remember from Blue Lagoon and the first wife of Andre Agassi and those shampoo commercials. That girl was drop-dead gorgeous and very natural-looking.
I’d lay good money that she’s had a full face-lift, and a boob job to boot.
What a shame she didn’t use Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon and end up looking like a woman.
quote:
What a shame she didn’t use Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon and end up looking like a woman.
I love it! But I was thinking maybe she did and the thing is that this surgeon makes patients look like the opposite sex…
Frankly, I think it’s MORE sexist to somehow dismiss all concerns with fashion and style as “unworthy” of intelligent people’s attention.
Celebrities are professionals. Public appearances are part of their job. We’re not fugging Judi Dench or Derek Jacobi or any other serious actors here–these folks live by the glitz and glamour, and they have to expect to get fugged on the glitz and glamour (or lack of same) as well.
But thanks for your opinion! And…wait a minute…I think a little tofu got on your overalls…I’ll get it…oh, dear! It fell on your Birkenstocks! Well, a little club soda should get that right out.
Why can’t Fugging celebs be as important as cracking politicians and athletes? After all we pay the ticket for all three!
Well said Juplu– very impressed–
Ridiculing someone’s interest because it is not your cuppa tea is brain farting. Bringing feminism sex or race into it is a cheap shot not really worth responding to. Hey rancor, I am not a Lady!! see my name!
Social commentary is crucially important. You can find examples in Hieroglyphs in Ancient Egypt and some real nasty social critiquing on the walls of Pompeii. GFY is just a modern form and forum of their graffiti. They blasted fashions too!
As for Fugging fashion and celebrity, very worthy. Read this site and it well tell you more about society’s perception of celeb and popular culture than any magazine or thesis.
Most museums in the world dealing with sociology or anthropology have sections devoted to fashion and the arts of clothes making.
Sports are more my interest and the column inches devoted to slagging athletes let alone the websites and talk radio shows are massive.
What appears here is almost tame (excepting the odd curse word) compared to an excellent radio program like the The Jim Rome show. Rome is an acute social commentator and his views range far from just sports.
So why not celeb culture?
As a forum, sports or politics are just as worthy and important as following fashion and social trends.
So GFYers pay little heed to those who wish to belittle your endeavors on this site. Opinions count, and the well written and thought out humour is a tonic for the troops, balm for the soul and fun.
–And I get to look at sexy celebs too! –
There’s only one solution:
Garanimals. One on the shirt, the other on the bra.
How about penguins, pigs and sheep for black, pink and white?
Why is Fabio even wearing a bra?
I think she is gorgeous. So she wore a white bra under a black shirt. Not fugly. Just unfortunate.
For those who are trying to make excuses for Ms. Sheilds, please remember, she is at a charity event. She knew there would be cameras. It’s not like she was running out to the corner 7-11 for a Slurpie and got caught by a stray stalker. She chose this combination knowinginly and anyone who has had any experience and home-training KNOWS that you don’t put a white bra on under a black dress that it is even potentially sheer. It’s not like she’s stupid. She went to Princeton, for crying out loud.
She fugged. Period. Minor fug in the grand scheme of fug, but it is a fug nonetheless.
While I hesitate to criticize anyone at an even with press who remembers to even WEAR a bra, this is just sad. And I watched Suddenly Susan. (Yes, I was the one person, kill me if you must.) This is also a good example of why you shouldn’t hesitate to ask a salesperson if the bra you’re wearing is showing through the garment you’re wearing from where they’re standing- if it doesn’t show under those horrid fluorescents, chances are good it’s fairly opaque/ the right combo. (A lesson I learned the hard way while I was working in a clothing store. *sigh* I discovered there was a whole other realm of fitting room lights evil.)
To whoever said that this blog is a sign of the decline of feminism, I’d like to leave this:
“You don’t have to signal a social conscience by looking like a frump.
Lace knickers won’t hasten the holocaust, you can ban the bomb in feather boa just as well
as without, and a mild interest in the length of hemlines doesn’t necessarily disqualify you
from reading Das Kapital and agreeing with every word.” ~ Elizabeth Bibesco (1895-1945)
If we choose to point (and laugh, and sometimes cry) at those who have made unfortunate choices, so what? If they didn’t make it so easy, we wouldn’t have opportunity.
I have a master’s from Harvard, and awards for feminist theology hanging on my office wall. Please, Mistah or Mizzes Rancor, have I earned my right to indulge in pop culture critique yet? Or must I obtain a doctorate in Wombyn’s Studies from, like, UC Berkeley first?
I’ll wait in the time-out corner until you give me my answer.
http://www.peacebang.blogspot.com
By the way, it is just CREEPY to wear your child’s name on a necklace. Is she now one of those drippy breeders who identifies herself as “Rowan’s Mommy?” Brooke, you have a name. Your OWN name. You and Rowan were literally separated at birth. Time to move on now.
Looking at the pic, a black bra would be a bad idea, since if you look toward her arm, you can see her skin through the fabirc, so you’d get the look of the black bra showing too.
So what?, it’s her body she’s allowed to wear a bright coloured bra under a black sheer top if she wants, but white isn’t good, maybe a red bra perhaps?.
Well, at least her eyebrows haven’t grown together yet. I never thought Brooke was pretty – WAY too masculine. And sorta creepy too. BTW, why is she still famous? She never had any acting talent – has she been in any movies or TV shows lately?
It’s the eyebrows that make her look manish– right?