Celebrity Terror Trump Watch: Clay Aiken

I was thinking to myself yesterday, “you know, I haven’t seen Clay Aiken for a while. I wonder what he’s up to?”

Yes, friends, he was locked up in his basement with The Trumpinator2000, an elaborate machine similar to a Bowflex, which — in only 20 minutes a day, three days a week — will eventually transform your face, hair and brows from whatever they used to be into something more closely resembling  The Donald.  Women (especially those with bad eyesight) will flock to you! Your friends will claim to be “amazed” and “stunned”! Your mother will cry! Probably with joy, because who doesn’t dream of her baby turning himself into a wee Trumplette, right? A steal for even the regular Joe at just six payments of $79.99, The Trumpinator2000 is thrilled to have superstar Clay Aiken as its first celebrity spokesperson!