This reminds me, in heavily toned-down form, of Zoe Saldana’s Oscars dress from 2010.
It’s not as much of a float at the Loofah Parade as Zoe’s was, but it’s definitely enough to be, like, the girl ON the parade float who is smiling while rubbing a giant mesh sponge up and down her arm and rejoicing in her smooth skin. But I like the ombre and the purple, and it fits, and nothing’s popping out or being shoved where it shouldn’t be. That’s got to be something, right?
Loading ...ABBIE CORNISH: Smile for the cameras, Jena.
JENA MALONE: Whatever, mom.
ABBIE: I’m not your mom.
JENA MALONE: I know, you’re more like one of those family friends who I call aunt.
ABBIE: No, I’m two years older than you are.
JENA: You ARE?
ABBIE: And you are not some 15-year old hybrid of Taylor Momsen and Madonna’s kid.
JENA: Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You spew LIES. You’re forty if you’re a day and I AM TOO your petulant teenage charge who just wants to wear a giant cobweb over a bra and I hate you!
ABBIE: Okay, whatever floats your boat.
JENA: Come on! You’re not going to ground me and tell me that I’m an irresponsible young lady and that you won’t give me the car until you can trust me, and that there can’t be mutual trust until there is mutual respect?
ABBIE … Dude, I’m 28. I so don’t care.
JENA: You SUCK, grandma!
ABBIE: You know, I only stood here because we accidentally bumped into each other.
JENA: SOMEBODY PLEASE DISCIPLINE ME. I AM SCREAMING FOR A LECTURE.
ABBIE: Um… go to your room?
JENA: Oh, God, THANK YOU.
ABBIE: No problem.
All I know is that if Ryan Phillipe decides he needs to start making some extra cash, he can farm himself out to the starlets of the world with the promise that, after they date for a while and then break up, said starlet will emerge from the flames of their destroyed relationship looking BETTER THAN SHE’S EVER LOOKED. Seriously. First, Reese, and now Abbie Cornish:
Do you remember how she used to look? (The answer: bland.) And now? She looks GREAT. Some of that is the healing power of the Break-Up Bob (TM Anne Hathaway), but most of it is that this dress is fabulous enough to make her look crazy hot, but not so Fabulous that it looks like she’s trying too hard. High-five, Abbie. See? You’re better off without him already.
Given that Abbie Cornish historically has looked so severe and dreary and generally unremarkable, this is totally refreshing:
She’s smiling! She looks happy and has well-applied makeup! Her dress is romantic and floaty and doesn’t — per her usual — make me want to ask if she’s auditioning for a role as a very severe German nanny in some horror flick called The Paddle Will Smack! Maybe now that all the tabloids have decided Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are one deep knee bend away from getting married, Abbie finally feels safe chilling out and relaxing and assuming nobody is going to throw tomatoes at her and call her a homewrecker for hooking up with Reese’s ex. Which is good. It’s long past time to exhale on that one, Abbie. Whether you should now start tensing up about the fact that you and Reese are both dating dudes who have rampant gay rumors swirling around them, and maybe call her and commisserate and arrange to go for donuts sometime… well, I leave that to you. I don’t know your life. But I do know you look pretty.
Wait, did I miss something?
When did The Addams Family become a ballet?
@VladaGelman How is Top of the Rock? - J
Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth Read Sexy Excerpt From '50 ...
A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?
Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.
Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!
Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!
Fug and Fab and Basically Lots of Feelings: Madonna, Abbie Cornish, And The Other Lady In W.E.
ANDREA RISEBOROUGH: I hope people think I’m Mary Louise Parker, and don’t give me a hard time about not hemming my dress.
MADONNA: MOVE AWAY NOTHING TO SEE HERE I AM JUST A SERIOUS DIRECTOR AND I NEVER KISSED JESUS IN A MUSIC VIDEO SO JUST LET’S EVEN PRETEND I’M NOT HERE.
ABBIE CORNISH: Dress, thousands of dollars. Plane ticket to Toronto: $200. Lobster: Market price. Built-in lobster bib attached to my gown: PRICELESS.
react: