Look, I know Amber Rose has STUFF happening. She’s the spokesmodel for the (horrifying sounding) Whipped Cream and Fluffed Marshmallow flavors of Smirnoff. She’s engaged to Wiz Khalifa. She’s really busy wearing pants we recently saw on Rihanna, but upping the ante with a matching jacket, looking casual and collected, but surely composing “bone” jokes in her head this entire time:
And she’s out and about getting shot by the paparazzi about three hundred percent more this week than she was last year in its entirety. Is it COINCIDENTAL that her uptick in paps shots coincides almost exactly with the emergence of Super Couple Kim Kardashian and Amber’s ex, KANYE? (Also: have we decided what we’re calling them, yet? Kimye? Kanym? KimYeezy? KAM? Wedashian? KiNYE?) Don’t even try to go up against KANDASHIAN when fame is on the line, Amber. The person getting boned there will be you.
On the other hand, this outfit at least doesn’t seem like it’s going to give you an immediate yeast infection (yes, I think that IS the dictionary definition of “damning with faint praise). UNLIKE:
14 photos in gallery
15 photos in gallery
@VladaGelman How is Top of the Rock? - J
Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Nelly Furtado and Amber Rose
I didn’t realize I’d missed Nelly Furtado until she vanished. Remember when she marauded in tournaquet rompers like some sort of knee-hating pirate wench? Good times.
Now, instead of looking like a buccaneer, she just looks like the decadent light fixture one of them strung up in his ship’s private treasure-stroking room. How better to lustfully gaze upon one’s haul than by the light of a large pearly wedding cake? Imagine if she’d vacated the black bra and ditched the choker, and worn fancier, more creative shoes. Not bad, right?
Amber Rose has a different type of “too much” going on here:
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