Fugger: Amber Rose

VMAs Bump Carpet: Amber Rose

Sep 7, 2012 By Heather AT 2:30 pm

Apparently the VMAs is becoming the place to announce your baby joy. First Beyonce did it last year, and now Amber Rose is in on the action.

Now that she’s public, we expect some seriously Fug Madness-worthy maternity garments from her. The suffocating black vines are an intriguing start, but it’s not loony enough. We want vintage Amber Rose, but with more topography. Where are the pregnancy catsuits? Why isn’t her bump swaddled in string? Is she at LEAST  having someone knit the baby a matching chain-mail bodysuit? Do not forsake us, Amber. Your baby may need you but so do we.

[Photo: Getty]

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MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: Amber Rose

Jun 4, 2012 By Heather AT 6:00 am

This is so terribly depressing.

I never thought I would yearn for a time when she wore catsuits made of string. This is terribly depressing. The dress has a gangrenous, molted aura, like a mildewing My Little Pony, or a spearmint-scented St. Patrick’s Day teddy bear that washed up in the wake of the Jubilee barge. Perhaps we’ve reached where the Fug Madness ends and regular old madness begins.

[Photo: Getty]

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Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Nelly Furtado and Amber Rose

May 21, 2012 By Heather AT 9:00 am

I didn’t realize I’d missed Nelly Furtado until she vanished. Remember when she marauded in tournaquet rompers like some sort of knee-hating pirate wench? Good times.

Now, instead of looking like a buccaneer, she just looks like the decadent light fixture one of them strung up in his ship’s private treasure-stroking room. How better to lustfully gaze upon one’s haul than by the light of a large pearly wedding cake? Imagine if she’d vacated the black bra and ditched the choker, and worn fancier, more creative shoes. Not bad, right?

Amber Rose has a different type of “too much” going on here:

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Amberfug Rose

Apr 9, 2012 By Jessica AT 9:00 am

Look, I know Amber Rose has STUFF happening. She’s the spokesmodel for the (horrifying sounding) Whipped Cream and Fluffed Marshmallow flavors of Smirnoff. She’s engaged to Wiz Khalifa. She’s really busy wearing pants we recently saw on Rihanna, but upping the ante with a matching jacket, looking casual and collected, but surely composing “bone” jokes in her head this entire time:

And she’s out and about getting shot by the paparazzi about three hundred percent more this week than she was last year in its entirety. Is it COINCIDENTAL that her uptick in paps shots coincides almost exactly with the emergence of Super Couple Kim Kardashian and Amber’s ex, KANYE? (Also: have we decided what we’re calling them, yet? Kimye? Kanym? KimYeezy? KAM? Wedashian? KiNYE?) Don’t even try to go up against KANDASHIAN when fame is on the line, Amber. The person getting boned there will be you.

On the other hand, this outfit at least doesn’t seem like it’s going to give you an immediate yeast infection (yes, I think that IS the dictionary definition of “damning with faint praise). UNLIKE:

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Fugber Rose

Apr 6, 2012 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

From the Desk of Amber Rose:

Dear Fug Nation,

I know you thought that I, like others before me, succumbed to the Curse of Fug Madness — namely, that once securing the title, I fell into relative obscurity. Winning the title, some believe, does to one’s career what appearing on the cover of In Style Weddings does to your marriage: dooms it. Well, friends, I am here to prove that there is no such curse. Aubrey O’Day and her little dog are on Celebrity Apprentice, and while it is true that, sure, I have literally nothing to do professionally lately, I am outside and people are taking my pictures and I’m wearing shoes that appear to be constructed from two tiny Monchhichis and these pants are ridiculous and YES IT’S TRUE. I AM GUNNING FOR MY SECOND TITLE. You call it a curse, I call it a blessing, and I’M BACK BABY SO WATCH OUT.

Cordially,

Amber Rose

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Grammy Awards Man Fugs and Fabs

Feb 15, 2012 By Heather AT 12:00 pm
Victor Cruz and Mario Manningham
Elvis CostelloElvis Costello IIDarren CrissParis Hilton and Afrojack
14 photos in gallery

Never let it be said that Victor Cruz isn’t enjoying the HELL out of being a Super Bowl champ.

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