Fugger: Anne Hathaway

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Other than royal weddings, Britney’s nuptials with K-Fed where they had the Pimps and Hos tracksuits, and the time Melania Trump was in her gown on the cover of Vogue, I’m not sure we’ve ever really covered a celebrity wedding. In part, that’s because it’s incredibly unusual for us to have even ONE of our photo services provide pictures of them — usually, they’re either at a massive premium, or they’ve been embargoed because a particular publication is paying a boatload for exclusive rights. Not so here. At least three of our subscriptions — I stopped checking after that — had at least eight pages of shots of Anne Hathaway and her husband getting their formal pictures taken, and considering they were on a private estate in Big Sur, they could’ve flown under the radar with considerable ease. Yet there they are, standing on a dirt road cutting through a pasture, pretending not to notice a large cluster of snap-happy urchins dangling from a tree, or whatever. What I’m saying is, they seem not to mind the attention. It’s kind of sweet that they’re not hiding, and also kind of weird that somebody alerted the paparazzi. They had secrecy on their side, and then someone apparently went, “NAH, let’s invite some long lenses. It’ll be so much more festive.”

Anyway, I’m not sure what to say about somebody’s Very Special Day. Mostly, I just wanted us all to huddle around the faux-wedding album together and gossip affectionately the way people do when, in their hungover hazes, they gather around each other’s iPhones and compare snaps from the festivities and wonder why that one dude is holding a fork in all of them. Anne seems happy, and I hope that is true, and obviously nobody wants to take that away from her. Certainly I do not. I also think these photos — the ones taken down on the ground by the photographer she actually hired — probably looked incredibly striking. But as for the veil, well, I look at it this way: If you were at a friend’s wedding and you are terribly fond of her but you secretly thought she was hiding her surprisingly cute pixie cut with an overwhelming headpiece, you’d probably whisper to another friend, “I love her and I want her to be happy, but one day she might regret that from the neck up she looks like she escaped from the hospital after a head injury and married the dude who found her hiding in his barn.” And so it is here.

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[Photos: Splash, INF, Fame/Flynet]