Fugger: Anne Hathaway

Les Fugerables


Anne Hathaway doesn’t always mind the paparazzi…

But when they catch her stumbling out of the wormhole that takes her back to 1993, she feels real threatened.

[Photo: Lisa Mauceri/INFphoto.com]

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Fug or Fab the Strangely Copious And Accessible Wedding Photos: Anne Hathaway


Other than royal weddings, Britney’s nuptials with K-Fed where they had the Pimps and Hos tracksuits, and the time Melania Trump was in her gown on the cover of Vogue, I’m not sure we’ve ever really covered a celebrity wedding. In part, that’s because it’s incredibly unusual for us to have even ONE of our photo services provide pictures of them — usually, they’re either at a massive premium, or they’ve been embargoed because a particular publication is paying a boatload for exclusive rights. Not so here. At least three of our subscriptions — I stopped checking after that — had at least eight pages of shots of Anne Hathaway and her husband getting their formal pictures taken, and considering they were on a private estate in Big Sur, they could’ve flown under the radar with considerable ease. Yet there they are, standing on a dirt road cutting through a pasture, pretending not to notice a large cluster of snap-happy urchins dangling from a tree, or whatever. What I’m saying is, they seem not to mind the attention. It’s kind of sweet that they’re not hiding, and also kind of weird that somebody alerted the paparazzi. They had secrecy on their side, and then someone apparently went, “NAH, let’s invite some long lenses. It’ll be so much more festive.”

Anyway, I’m not sure what to say about somebody’s Very Special Day. Mostly, I just wanted us all to huddle around the faux-wedding album together and gossip affectionately the way people do when, in their hungover hazes, they gather around each other’s iPhones and compare snaps from the festivities and wonder why that one dude is holding a fork in all of them. Anne seems happy, and I hope that is true, and obviously nobody wants to take that away from her. Certainly I do not. I also think these photos — the ones taken down on the ground by the photographer she actually hired — probably looked incredibly striking. But as for the veil, well, I look at it this way: If you were at a friend’s wedding and you are terribly fond of her but you secretly thought she was hiding her surprisingly cute pixie cut with an overwhelming headpiece, you’d probably whisper to another friend, “I love her and I want her to be happy, but one day she might regret that from the neck up she looks like she escaped from the hospital after a head injury and married the dude who found her hiding in his barn.” And so it is here.

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[Photos: Splash, INF, Fame/Flynet]

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Les Fugerables


This whole Valentino line basically makes me want to stab myself in the hand with a rusty dental tool:

Because, seriously. Who wakes up and thinks, “I really want to look SUPER MUSTY at this event. Where can I get something that’s sort of like Miss Havisham meets draperies? Plus mold and then maybe a weird hint of freaky thigh goiter? Because NOTHING says New York City Ballet like FREAKY MUSTY SPINSTER THIGH GOITER, amirite?!?”

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Well Played, Anne Hathaway


I wish I had found a slightly more direct photo of this in our subscriptions, but such is life. We can’t always get what we want. To wit: There is no ham sandwich in my hand.

However, other than the fact that I think she may be wearing hose (of which I am not a particular fan, if they can be avoided, which I believe they could have here), this Dark Knight Rises afterparty frock is cute on Anne. It really fits the swingin’ mod look she’s working with the pixie cut. That may have been a primary problem with her very first gown of the tour, the white one: It just really clashed with her current vibe. And whether she herself is happy with the hair or not, you’ve got to play the proverbial cards you are dealt. In Hollywood you can probably even cheat a little. You almost always have a couple helpful extras, like an ace and a Queen, taped to the inside of your sleeve or glued to the underside of your purse: Most people can’t snap their fingers and make a dress that fits their new coif materialize, but Anne Hathaway probably could, and maybe even did right here. I wish she’d keep it up. Work the theme, girl. It doesn’t have to be forever, but it’s better than parading around like something scented you put in a panty drawer.

[Photo: Splash]

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The Fug Knight Rises


Well, it is midsummer. And presumably the UK Batman premiere was at least in the evening. But this is less a dream for me than a nightmare:

Even Titania would be like, “Honey, no. You are not a bag of pot pourri.”

Supposedly this sucker also has a keyhole back:

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The Dark Knight Fugs


And so it begins:

Maybe THIS is why she’s been so basic-black lately: She knew she was going to hit the premiere in an anti-Catwoman white gown. But I kind of wish she’d stuck with the rut. I’m trying to look at this dress, really look at it, but I can’t. It’s super uninspired to me. It just hangs there. It exists. It is on her back. It is covering up her erogenous zones. There’s some draping. But nothing about this feels committed — there’s a bracelet, a half-hearted stab at rouging her lips so that the bright white doesn’t wash her out, but otherwise it’s maddeningly blah. I get that it’s a tough time for Anne, what with her crazy con-artist ex-boyfriend out of prison and banging on about how misunderstood he is, right on the doorstep of her wedding to a dude who seems both perfectly nice and perfectly noncontroversial, and she has to promote her summer blockbuster right after she had her hair chopped off on-camera to play a dying but virtuous French prostitute with a love child and a song in her heart. But I wish she’d come out with fashion guns blazing. This feels like the lazy, muted pop of a cap gun that didn’t quite scare the pants off his younger sister the way its user had hoped.

[Photo: Getty]

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