Fugger: Bradley Cooper

I’m starting to wonder if Emma Stone’s people have a nefarious plan. Specifically, if they are worried that she is so universally adored and adorable, that backlash is inevitable and potentially harsh. So they’re arranging for her to look less than her best on magazine covers as a way of engendering sympathy and reminding people that, hey, even Emma Stone is just like us: imperfect.

I mean, she’s still Emma Stone, so she’s starting out ahead in the “plus” ledger. But she seems sort of… tired, and unenthralled, and maybe a little bit like even though somebody told the photographer she adored this idea, she doesn’t really understand why the hell she’s in bed with two grown-ass celebrity men in animal costumes. Bradley Cooper is smiling dazedly as if he just woke up (or achieved chemical bliss) and thinks he’s wearing a Snuggie, and Affleck barely even looks like he IS wearing a costume; it’s like he and an amiable grizzly poked their heads into the shot for a cuddle, and the grizzly didn’t care for the length of the lens.

The cover lines also feel strangely like Vanity Fair is auditioning a teen version. I can’t wait to read the Leslie Bennetts profile on iCarly, and a searing social and photographic essay on the history of lunchroom etiquette in Hollywood.