So here La Jolie is, blowing into Cannes like a mega-famous wind of hair and lips and maternal glory. Here she is at her daytime photocall, looking as cool and calm and collected as she ever has — couldn’t you also see the likes of Reese Witherspoon in this outfit, and when is the last time you were able to say THAT about these two? By night, of course, she went with something a bit more dramatic, and I’m not just talking about Brad Pitt’s face. Although I could be. BECAUSE IT IS. Join me.
Loading ...“Bonjie, Cannes!”
“Pittzy here, ready to share with you a truly exciting investment opportunity. So, picture it: Two places. Water between them. You’re on one side. You want to go to the other. You can’t get there! What, you think you’ll sprout wings? Hahaha! That’s where bridge technology comes in: We can build a structure that lets you DRIVE from one side to the other, OVER WATER, like you’re freaking Jesus on wheels! And I’m offering you, yes, YOU a chance to buy into this bridge. Let’s call it… Brooklyn, after one of the Beckham kids, am I right? It can be yours for a very low investment of five dollars, plus about twenty-thousand in paperwork and processing fees. Come on, look at me. Look into my shades. Would I lead you down the primrose path? Do I LOOK like a guy who knows what a primrose is? AM I RIGHT. Act now and get a free Hanes undershirt. Don’t wait! Call now. Tell ‘em Pittzy sent ya.”
Well, Fug Nation, last week your crystal balls told you to guess that Anne Hathaway would be the best dressed — she ran away with it with 73 percent of the vote) and that Julianne Moore would look the worst (38 percent), although she had Annette Bening and Angelina Jolie nipping at her heels (28 and 24 percent, respectively). Having seen what the ACTUALLY wore, now what do you think? Time to see if you hew to your visions or if somebody let you down.
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@lzbtheiae 
Fug or Fab, Again: Angelina Jolie
The other day, somebody wondered why we always Fug or Fab Angelina Jolie. All I can really say is, “Because I can never make up my mind what I think of her clothes.” it is very hard to separate her from her own mystique, from the sheer size of her fame and associated stature, and so all those things roll together to make you wonder if she’s wearing something legitimately good, or simply carrying off something you might not otherwise like, or in fact regally wetting the bed. She definitely has an authoritative air about her, she has a face that I personally think is her greatest asset in elevating her outfits, AND she has her own history of bland caftans to contend with that influences our relief over things like, say, this red dress:
She is also marriage-adjacent to Chaz Hands, formerly Ned Pantywaist, formerly the third-most successful Fiat dealer in all of Cannes, formerly B.Pittz, formerly Brad Pitt. And I’m so heartened to see him halfway back to the promised land that I might be blinded to all reality. Let’s take a look at Angelina on her own, for clarity.
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