Fugger: Brangelina

The Fug of Life

May 16, 2011 By Heather AT 3:00 pm

“Bonjie, Cannes!”

“Pittzy here, ready to share with you a truly exciting investment opportunity. So, picture it: Two places. Water between them. You’re on one side. You want to go to the other. You can’t get there! What, you think you’ll sprout wings? Hahaha! That’s where bridge technology comes in: We can build a structure that lets you DRIVE from one side to the other, OVER WATER, like you’re freaking Jesus on wheels! And I’m offering you, yes, YOU a chance to buy into this bridge. Let’s call it… Brooklyn, after one of the Beckham kids, am I right? It can be yours for a very low investment of five dollars, plus about twenty-thousand in paperwork and processing fees. Come on, look at me. Look into my shades. Would I lead you down the primrose path? Do I LOOK like a guy who knows what a primrose is? AM I RIGHT. Act now and get a free Hanes undershirt. Don’t wait! Call now. Tell ‘em Pittzy sent ya.”

Fug file: Man Fugs, ,
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Fug Madness 2011, Round One: Charo Bracket

Mar 17, 2011 By Heather AT 10:00 am

(4) JENNIFER LOPEZ vs. (13) RYAN CABRERA

“Hola, lovers. We meet again in Crazytown, a.k.a. any competition in which I am not the winner automatically just because I am me, and me is fabuloso. I do not lie, lovers, this makes me go Angryface.

“I MEAN. Do I wear capes for nothing? NO, lovers, I wear them for YOU. Do I go all Swan Fake with no reason? No, lovers, it is about you. Do I wear a melting snowflake skirt of glory for fun? Yes, lovers. Because it is fun. But also no, lovers, I WEAR IT FOR YOU. And THIS is how you repay me? Making me fight for a victory against Baron Greasenipple Von Stachesuck?

It is not just a clever name, lovers

Fug file: Fug Madness, , , , , , , , ,
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Globes Prognostication vs Reality: Lead Actress in a “Comedy”

Jan 20, 2011 By Heather AT 9:15 am
Julianne Moore
Emma StoneAnne HathawayAngelina JolieAnnette Bening
5 photos in gallery

Well, Fug Nation, last week your crystal balls told you to guess that Anne Hathaway would be the best dressed — she ran away with it with 73 percent of the vote) and that Julianne Moore would look the worst (38 percent), although she had Annette Bening and Angelina Jolie nipping at her heels (28 and 24 percent, respectively). Having seen what the ACTUALLY wore, now what do you think? Time to see if you hew to your visions or if somebody let you down.

Okay, who was the ACTUAL best-dressed Lead Actress In a Supposed Comedy or Musical nominee?

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Actual worst-dressed Lead Actress in a "Comedy" nominee:

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Fug file: Awards & Galas, Photos, , , , , ,
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Golden Globes Well Played: Angelina Jolie

Jan 17, 2011 By Heather AT 11:00 am
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
Angelina Jolie and Brad PittAngelina Jolie and Brad PittAngelina Jolie and Brad PittAngelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
5 photos in gallery

BRAD: YOOOOO, Brangie!

ANGELINA: Technically I’m just Angie.

BRAD: Whatever, baby girl, we are as one. But if you want to go there, then fine — call me B.Pittz.

ANGELINA: And why would I do that?

BRAD: Because I am HAPPENING tonight. This funkball is the JAM.

ANGELINA: I don’t understand those words in that order.

BRAD: B.Pittz is in the HIZ, baby, and my lingo is the SHIZ, Miz!

ANGELINA: And I don’t understand those words at all.

BRAD:  …Yeah, I learned them from the kids. That Shiloh has a mouth.

ANGELINA: Let’s stop wasting time on that and talk about me. I’m wearing a color, Brad.

BRAD: You’re what?

ANGELINA: I’m WEARING a COLOR.

BRAD: You’re wearing a collar? Like a dog?

ANGELINA: A COLOR. I AM WEARING A COLOR.

BRAD: Now I don’t understand those words in that order.

ANGELINA: I know. I think the earth fell off its axis.

Fug file: Awards & Galas, Dialogues, Photos, Well Played, , , ,
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Golden Globes 2011 Red-Carpet Prognostication: Best Actress in a Comedy or a movie called “The Tourist”

Jan 14, 2011 By Heather AT 8:30 am
Anne Hathaway, Golden Globes 2008
Anne Hathaway, Oscars 2008 and 2009Anne Hathaway, 2010 eventsAnne Hathaway, Met Ball 2010Anne Hathaway, Nobel Peace Prize concert, 2010
19 photos in gallery

Who cares who takes home the actual Golden Globe trophy? We all know Sunday night is won or lost on the red carpet, unless somebody gets hammered and delivers a droolingly blurry acceptance speech, in which case that is a victory for us all. So, because the Friday before a major awards-show weekend PARTICULARLY demands procrastinatory material, we are ponying up for you: We’re going to take a look at all the female-oriented categories at the Golden Globes (dresses are the most fun to dissect), and see if we can predict which female nominee in each will be the best- and worst-dressed of her group — done via slideshows either of recent outfits, past awards-show gowns, or both.  For instance, La Hathaway up there last appeared at the Globes in 2008 wearing that navy number; I’ll bet she does something lighter and sunnier this year. Conversely, the only certainty with Annette Bening is that she will wear Warren Beatty in her foreground. (Seriously, look at the pictures. It’s true.)

What do you think? Vote it up in the polls and prognosticate yourselves silly in the comments. Got a dress you want them to wear? Post the link. Got a style you want someone to avoid? Tell us all about it. Think Angelina Jolie was a nonsense nominee? We hear you; let it all out.

Potential best-dressed Lead Actress In A Comedy:

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Potential worst-dressed Lead Actress In A Comedy:

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Fug file: Awards & Galas, Photos, , , , , , ,
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Fug or Fab: Angelina Jolie

Dec 17, 2010 By Heather AT 11:00 am
Angelina Jolie
Johnny DeppAngelina JolieAngelina Jolie and Johnny DeppAngelina Jolie and Johnny Depp
10 photos in gallery

Is it just me, or is The Tourist never going away? Also, whatever Angie’s paying Brad, she should threaten to cut it in half because this is his least convincing job ever; however, in the end, she may want to double it, because his entrance into this slideshow is like a ray of sunshine on toast. And y’all know how we here at GFY HQ feel about toast.

Just because it's there, let's have a referendum on the first outfit:

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But now, the real dress. Your thoughts?

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Fug file: Dialogues, Fug or Fab, Photos,
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