OH. MY. GOD. Y’ALL. Where have I been for the last year or whatever?
I think I heard something about something about how it’s totally depressing to make fun of someone’s outfits when her outfits are the least of her problems or something? I don’t know. I wasn’t paying any attention. I don’t know if y’all are aware, but I have had a craaaazy year this last year. That chapter in my autobiography (working title: Cheetos: A Love Story) is going to be juicy. That’s all I’m saying. Lifetime Television For Women juicy and I am so playing myself as Young Britney and then Kim Cattrall can play me when I’m old, just like in Crossroads. Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and tell all y’all that I’m feeling much better and if you’re blind or whatever and reading this in like Braille or something, I also really just want you to know that I also look TOTALLY AWESOME and really cute and in good shape and with a decent weave for once and also completely self-actualized and full of inner something or other — I don’t know. Dr Phil keeps calling and leaving these long-ass messages on my machine about letting my inner self-esteem elephant trample the lawn of my self-image or something and that reminds me I need to call him and tell him to leave me alone because I so don’t need a new man in my life. Just this hot ass outfit. Suck on it, Timberlake. You too, Federline. And all the rest of all y’all. I told you I’d be back. It just TOOK ME A WHILE. GOD.
LOVE YOU MISSED YOU MEAN IT
BRITNEY.
@lzbtheiae 
Fug Me Baby, One More Time.
Want to feel OLD? Apparently yesterday was the 10th anniversary of “…Baby One More Time.” (And now you’ll be humming that all day.) I know. I feel like it was only yesterday that I was prancing around my bedroom singing along into my hair brush. So, to celebrate, we were asked to write a piece for Britney’s new official website about her iconic Catholic school girl look:
Let’s be honest, girls: While I’m sure many of our readers only ever go out costumed as Marie Curie or Ruth Bader Ginsburg for Halloween (and, honestly, I would like to see pictures of both, because that sounds awesome), there are just as many of us who — when faced with forty-five minutes after work to throw something cute together for a party — have just shrugged and pulled out Ye Olde Plaide Skirte in a moment of laziness. After all, when you are not skanky of soul, occasionally it is amusing to be skanky of dress. Even if it is kind of…okay, not the most subtle look ever conceived. But in this time of carved pumpkins and mini candy bars, who knew we had so much to thank Britney for? Let’s give the girl a little credit for giving the knee socks industry that much needed boost, after all.
If you so desire, you can read the rest of the piece here. Or not. Whatever. We’d never tell you what to do. Especially on a Friday.
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