I love looking at covers of magazines which are published in languages I am unable to read, because it means I can invent the headlines. I’m sure this issue of Japanese Vogue is touting the usual Vogue articles, which I imagine to be universal — something about a weird new plastic surgery meant to alleviate a cosmetic problem we weren’t even aware was a problem, something about a rich and expensively dressed woman who also runs an art gallery/investment brokerage/dermatology practice and everything she wears therein, something about a new starlet whose parents are obscurely famous and the charming dinner parties she gives for hipsters, the end — but I like to think it’s sporting things like, “Princess Charlene: She Wore Color Once. Can It Happen Again?” and “Women Who Might Hate Their Husbands: How To Talk To Them” and “So You Tried To Flee The Country: Three Women Speak Out.”
Fugger: Charlene of Monaco
In case you were wondering what photos the tabloids will use this week for their usual CHARLENE AND ALBERT: MISERABLE!!! story. (Which we don’t get in the United States much, but I assume this happens on the regular everywhere that’s Monaco and Monaco-adjacent).
This is just a big old Royal Grab Bag. We’ve got a little Kate, and some Prince Harry, and a dash of Her Majesty, and the return of Princess Charlene, the poor dear.
She’s never looked happier! (I’m lying. She has totally looked happier.)
Get ready for some epic side-eye from Princess Sadface.
Let’s check in on Princess Sadface McFleetheCountry. The good news is, she looks marginally less miserable. MAYBE THESE TWO CAN MAKE IT WORK!