Fugger: Charlene of Monaco

Droopily Played: Princess Charlene


First of all, while the body language in this photo is alarming at best, I must sound the Alarm of Full Disclosure and tell you that I believe the photographer cut out two people on Charlene’s left, so she is perhaps not leaning AWAY from Albert with loathing as much as she is leaning INTO them, or perhaps is doing that thing where you try to get out of the picture frame. Regardless, there is no way even the gushiest tabloid would ever call these two LOVED UP:

And frankly, I would want to flee the country just for the simple fact that they let me leave the house in that.

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The Recent Fabs and Fehs of Princess Charlene


She seems maybe moderately happier? Maybe? Minutely? At the least she’s wearing color and hobnobbing with a GFY mega-favorite, so….things can’t be entirely rotten in Monaco.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fehs and Huh?s: Princess Charlene


Well, we checked in with Kate Middleton, might as well see how her sad-faced sister-in-arms is faring over in Monaco. (Relieve her considerably less joyous-seeming nuptials here, if you like.) I just wish she’d wear a color.  Act HAPPY, Char. Then they’ll never know you’re planning to escape from the palace via hot air balloon in the dead of night with the dreamy bodyguard you’ve seduced into helping facilitate your escape!

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Oscar Fug Carpet: Princess Charlene


Or, as I’m privately referring to her lately, “Princess Prisoner.” Seriously, no one looked more miserable at the Oscars than she did.

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Well Played, Charlene of Monaco


No sooner did we theorize that Princess Charlene is addicted to neutrals, than she popped out of her principality in something else:

It’s pretty. Chocolatey. Fluttery. A flightless bird trying nonetheless to take wing, which is sadly allegorical to her wedding day situation. That in and of itself would be sort of brilliant if she did it on purpose, but also, she looks lovely in it — maybe it needs more dramatic makeup, but overall I think the lovely lady is doing a bang-up job taking her life lemons and turning them into some kind of tangy fermented hooch.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: Princess Charlene of Monaco


As the year wraps up, let’s take a look at what Princess Charlene “Sadface” of Monaco has been wearing out and about lately — and by lately, I mean, since, like, September. The good news is, she looks somewhat less Sadfaced. The bad news is, girlfriend is married to neutrals, and that’s not a joke about Prince Albert. Let’s dive in — starting with the most recent event.

[Photos: Getty]

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