Fugger: Chloe Sevigny

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Freida Pinto and Chloe Sevigny

May 3, 2011 By Jessica AT 10:30 am

You know things have gone horribly, horribly wrong when Chloe Sevigny – who is wearing a version of your dress, with the colors reversed and the tie shrunken to twee level — is giving you the doubtful, hairy eyeball.

As if she’s thinking — she, Chloe Sevigny, who went around town wearing Art Garfunkel’s hairdo for months — “dude. I don’t know about this one.”
But what about THAT ONE?

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Fug Madness, Round Two, Part Two: Madonna Bracket

Mar 22, 2011 By Jessica AT 12:00 pm

(1) KATY PERRY v. (8) CHLOE SEVIGNY

Oh, Katy Perry. At least you’re never boring. And we know what you’d look like if you took up ice dancing:

Or took a gig as a Victoria’s Secret Too-Tight Floral Bustier Spokesperson:

(The Too-Tight Floral Bustier is one of their lines, right? Like the Very Sexy Bra Whatever, and the Naughty Little Secret Undie Something or others.)

In fact, I think this is likewise from Victoria’s Secret:

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Fug Madness 2011 Round One: Madonna Bracket, Part II

Mar 18, 2011 By Jessica AT 12:00 pm

(1) KATY PERRY v. (16) MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ

“No, no! I MEANT to look like this!”

“What else could you possibly expect from a girl who wore WINGS on the Grammy carpet?”

“Or who popped out one night dressed like a Nutcracker? (PS, I’m also a nutcracker. ASK RUSSELL. HAHAHAHAH. I kid.)”

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Fug Love

Mar 11, 2011 By Heather AT 7:00 am

This isn’t really a scrolldown fug (because it’s fugly everywhere) so much as it is a scrolldown fun. (Yes, I went there.)

Chloe Sevigny

Oh, CHLOE. You are hilarious. Your cuffs are stapled where your pockets should be, and you look like a magician’s assistant at a Siegfried & Roy-themed burlesque joint. If this were eligible for Fug Madness 2011 — which, like Aubrey O’Day’s Cancer Pants, it sadly is not — then you would have it sewn up; alas, we’ll have to wait until next year to know how this little number affects your chances. In the meantime, before you conjure a tiger from your nostril or make your own nethers disappear, could we get our martinis? Thanks.

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Sevigny-Played, Chloe Sevigny

Jan 13, 2011 By Jessica AT 12:00 pm

In twenty minutes, Ms. Sevigny will be performing a selection of carefully curated 1940s Polynesian-inspired ditties and accompanying herself on the ukulele! Only in our world-famous Tiki Tiki Tiki Room, and only from the ankles up! Don’t miss it! It’s then going to turn slowly into a weird, retro Geisha thing, until the clash of kitschy cultural appropriations makes your head hurt a little bit! We’re also having a Mai Tai special — seven for five dollars!  COME ON DOWN!

In all sincerity, though, this is undeniably kooky. Chloe gets away with a lot, and I maintain that it’s because we’re all still super relieved she’s not going around wearing Art Garfunkel’s hair anymore.  Having said that, I love these shoes (mostly?) but I think wearing them with this dress moves the whole thing a little farther away from being the Chloe equivalent of Carrie Bradshaw! Only You Could Wear That! Bless Your Heart and a little closer to being  What the F#$^&k Is Bradshaw Wearing Now? Give Me A Break. (A spectrum of emotions well known to anyone who watched SatC).

Let’s Look at ‘Em

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Mysteriously Played, Chloe Sevigny

Dec 8, 2010 By Jessica AT 2:00 pm

When I was looking over the pictures from last night’s events, I saw this photo — labeled, enticingly, “CHLOE SEVIGNY” — first:

Obviously, you can imagine the thrill with which I imagined what the rest of this look could possibly BE! I was picturing something three parts dominatrix, two parts 70s kindergarten teacher, one part Cosby sweater.

BUT!

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