Fugger: Faith Hill

ACMs Fug Carpet: Faith Hill

Apr 8, 2013 By Heather AT 1:00 pm

I think someone is suffering from attention deficit disorder.

That is to say, the fear that there is a deficit of attention being sent her way now that her husband was on the cover of People in a story about how He’s Super Cut Now, and all anyone remembers of her lately is that she’s been waitin’ all day for Sunday night. But Faith Hill is lovely, and Faith Hill is a country legend, basically — or at least headed that way (is she Rayna Jaymes, one wonders?) — and so it seems a shame that she’s decided the answer is wearing a lacy hook-and-eye nightmare straight out of some catalog called Boudoir Love Triangle. You are Faith Hill. You don’t need visible hotpants to be hot.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug the Show: Sunday Night Football’s Main Titles

Jan 2, 2013 By Heather AT 1:00 pm
Faith Hill
Faith HillFaith HillFaith Hill
4 photos in gallery

It took me ALL SEASON to catch the opening credits to Sunday Night Football, but finally, I got a peek at what Faith Hill brought to the party this year. And apparently what she brought was 98 percent of her thighs.

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CMA Awards Fug or Fab: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill

Nov 2, 2012 By Jessica AT 11:00 am

TIM: We are so coordinated!

FAITH: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

TIM: That wasn’t a joke, babe. Just an observation. We look like two formal salutes to the black and white cookie.

FAITH: Jerry Seinfeld once said that he loved the black and white cookie because it was two races of flavor living side by side in harmony, and a wonderful thing. LOOK TO THE COOKIE, TIM. LOOK TO THE COOKIE.

TIM: And then he and Elaine fought a woman over a babka. I don’t know if Seinfeld is a good sartorial inspiration. Although I do agree with George that we really should all drape ourselves in velvet.

FAITH: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

TIM: You are acting so weird tonight.

FAITH: The truth is, I’m uncomfortable in this.

TIM: Why? You look comfortable! It’s fetching.

FAITH: I am just more accustomed to wriggling around in pleather football pants.

TIM: You can put those on when we get home.

Your turn!

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Fugday Night Fugball

Feb 6, 2012 By Heather AT 9:00 am

We already dealt with the regular-season main titles for Sunday Night Football, in which Hill looks less human than like some kind of CGI’d replica of herself. For the special Super Bowl opener yesterday, you’ll be pleased — in that wrinkly vexed way — to know RoboFaith was back in action:

Apparently, the equation is Faith Hill + slinky pants – breathable fabrics x humanoid blurs. See? I knew I’d use math someday.

Check out the weirdo tailoring on her crotch, though:

sorry, Faith, but here is your pelvis

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People’s Choice Awards’ Fine Carpet: Faith Hill

Jan 13, 2012 By Heather AT 6:30 am

Something about Faith Hill singing that opening song to Sunday Night Football — every season for, what, the last three? — makes me take her slightly less seriously. It’s the crazy pants and the bowed legs and the crooning about Al Michaels and the NFL teams du jour… it’s an accidental comedy piece. So in turn it makes me feel affectionately toward her, and also less like she is Faith Hill: Megastar than Faith Hill: Teehee.

Faith may be similarly conflicted. Because while this is perfectly cute and serviceable for, say, an Academy Awards luncheon, or the Sunday Night Football production meeting at which they try to figure out what lyrics could rhyme with “Texans,” it isn’t as glam as I feel it could or should be when you are Faith Hill: Country Queen. Her hair looks like it’s falling out of the updo. I hope that’s because Tim McGraw is stashed in the limo and she keeps going back for a little naughty time.

Up on stage, she changed, and it may not surprise you what she chose:

it does not rhyme with

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CMA Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Faith Hill

Nov 11, 2011 By Heather AT 8:00 am

I don’t know how to feel about this dress.

I mean… there’s no there there. It fits. It covers her privates. It isn’t doing strange things to her boobs, o rher waist, or her armpits. But… what is it doing, exactly? It’s a blank, a canvas waiting for paint. Put her in flip flops and and a ponytail and sunglasses, and I’d believe that she’s on the way to the beach in Tahiti. It manages to be both a bold statement and no statement at all. Maybe that’s why she looks like she stuck her head out the window of the limo — she figured, “Well, the glaring white gown will be blinding everyone so I’d better get rock-and-roll with my head.”

Or maybe Tim McGraw’s face LITERALLY blows her away.

Faith changed into an opposite outfit for her performance:

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