Fugger: January Jones

SAG Awards Fugs and Fabs: Mad Men

Jan 28, 2013 By Heather AT 9:30 am
January Jones
Elisabeth MossKiernan ShipkaJessica PareVincent Kartheiser, Alexis Bledel
7 photos in gallery

Where have you been, January Jones? It’s almost IRRESPONSIBLE of you to withhold your brand of crazy at this time of year. In related news, where art thou, Christina Hendricks?

[Photos: Getty]

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Who Fugged ‘Em More: Elisabeth Moss vs. January Jones

Oct 23, 2012 By Heather AT 2:00 pm

The first news is that Elisabeth Moss has scrapped the blonde.

I actually miss it, although I suspect it’s because Peggy Olsen has not yet discovered peroxide. But maybe what’s holding her back here, for me, is the fact that her makeup seems to belong with a totally different outfit. As do her shorts, which are so nondescript and tiresome. She’s, like, jazz hands on the top and gym rat on the bottom. I wish I could’ve seen the blazer and bright shirt with a skinny pant, or stylized tuxedo trouser. But if she had her heart set on formal shorts, I think she needed more interesting shoes with them. You need to SELL those suckers. To put this in terms Peggy would appreciate, those shorts are baked beans. You need to trick people into thinking they’re a delicious idea.

January Jones also went with formal shorts:

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Fuguary Jones

Oct 10, 2012 By Heather AT 9:00 am

Well, I didn’t love what Blake Lively wore. But I may have to rescind every negative thought I had about it, as it’s a post-victory tailgate party on a perfect autumn evening with an RV parked right next to you that has DirecTV and an unlimited supply of Cheetos compared with this horror:

Her makeup looks a bit like she shot herself in the face with a cosmetics gun set to “creepy porcelain doll that WATCHES YOU, ALWAYS WATCHES YOU,” but the dress is the saddest clown of all. Every time it cries, a bride gets jilted.

[Photo: Getty]

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: January Jones

Sep 24, 2012 By Heather AT 6:00 am

It’s at least good for business that January Jones always tries to use the red carpet to make A Big Statement, because fortunately for us, her statements all come out in pure Gibberish.

Unfortunately, I forgot to plug in my translator last night. I’m getting SOMETHING about a hostage drama, gaffer’s tape, Bed Bath and Beyond, a ballet, an evil doppelganger, and the phrase, “Sorry, but it’s not going to be done in time.” What could it all mean?

[Photo: Getty]

 

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Met Ball Fug or Fab: January Jones

May 10, 2012 By Heather AT 12:00 pm

I love things that are art deco. So why do I not love this? Indeed, much like the lady behind her, I am giving it the side-eye.

Maybe it’s that the turquoise necklace is totally wrong with the dress, or how the gown just kind of… sits there on her body rather than conforming to it. Or that I don’t like the makeup with it. The whole thing looks like the sun-bleached color scheme at a retro hot-dog vendor on an abandoned beach-town boardwalk. I would LOVE to see it on Solange, or possibly Emma Stone if she were still red-haired, or… Chastain, maybe? Do we think her coloring could carry it? What about, like… Jennifer Connolly, if she still went places? I don’t know. I’m not calling a time of death on the gown, that’s for sure. But on January it’s leaving me as cold as Betty Draper.

Am I crazy?

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[Photos: Getty]

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Mad Fug

May 4, 2012 By Jessica AT 9:00 am

This is…

…weird. In fact, there is something about the pattern that’s almost bone-like. Which makes her look like a skeleton wearing a barmaid’s apron. During Octoberfest. In Hell. Hey, at least the beer’s cold.

[Photo: Getty]

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