“Dear Marc. In the immortal –PUN INTENDED — words of that lady who sings this, “My bloodshake brought all your teeth to the block. And they were like, ‘It’s better than yours.” But you leeched me, and I had to charge.’ And now that you have been sent the bill, EX-LOVER, I hope you see this photo and go into withdrawal and quiver and shake like a human blender trying to make a Barbie smoothie.
“So adios, EX-LOVER. Look at my many blood-colored panels on this dress and dream of my neck syrup and then CRY. I would say SUCK ON IT, but YOU CAN’T ANYMORE. LOPEZ WINS AGAIN. Besos! Watch my show! It’s ALSO better than yours.”