Fugger: Joan Collins

Oscars Fugs and Fabs: The Legends


Right when Shirley Bassey started singing, “GooooooldFINGAHHHHHH,” I turned to Jessica and said, “She’s not performing this song. She is PERFORMING this SONG.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugshion Week Fugs and Fabs: Assorted People We Saw


Not as many doozies as we would like. What is the world coming to?

[Photos: Getty]

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Oscar Fug Carpet: Gwen Stefani, But With Bonus YAY


I know a lot of people think certain fuggery is sacred, but I generally don’t — I mean, MAYBE Joan Collins, at this point, but not Kate Moss, not Helena Bonham Carter, not even SWINTON. And definitely not Gwen Stefani. Especially not now:

This looks like a video game about surgery.

Oh, and in case you wanted me to put my money where my mouth is:

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Fug and Fab the Hattery: Sarah Jessica Parker and Special Guest Star Joan Collins


More racing in Australia means more celebs in major millinery. Or in SJP’s case, major coiffery, since this particular look is a little lean in the cranial glitz department. Don’t worry, though, she made up for it another time. The woman who once wore both Elvira and a topiary to a movie premiere would never just walk out of Australia having ONLY left this mark.

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Oscars “Was it worth it?” Carpet: Joan Collins


The big news to come out of the Vanity Fair party was that Joan Collins had to be escorted out and to the hospital, because she was having dizzy spells. Later, she said it was because she made the mistake of wearing a tight dress that, after five hours, made it tough to breathe. That had better be true. We can’t lose La Collins. She has to live to be at least a hundred. I can’t deal.

My hero

This is the dress. It looks a bit like barnacles, but it’s also… you know, it’s Joan Collins. The woman is a national treasure even though she’s not from here. There may never be a villain as awesome as Alexis Colby Etc., so let’s all say a silent prayer of thanks to the Camp Gods that she’s okay, and then discuss whether this dress was worth the TERROR of seeing a swooning legend go down.

Was it worth it?

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