“Excuse me, kind sir? Could you tell me the easiest route to Hogwarts from here? I missed the train.”
Fugger: Lady Gaga
You guys may think I’m insane for this, but I have to say, this is super effective for me.
I know we get cranky about covers where the subjects don’t really look recognizably themselves, but here’s why I think that’s an asset here: 1) We’ve gotten to the point where who the hell KNOWS or REMEMBERS what Lady Gaga even looks like anymore; 2) I have complete and total Gaga fatigue, and I don’t think I’m alone in that; 3) seeing her on this cover made me interested instead of eye-rolly, because the silhouette is so striking, the color is majestic, and I don’t think I’ve seen her like this in a long time. I practically forgot she even HAD a face. It makes me faintly curious about her again, which I never thought would happen, and that is about the only way you’re likely to get me to pick up a five-pound magazine and bring it home. Sure, it hasn’t WORKED — the odds of me actually doing that are slimmer than her waist in this picture; I only barely have patience for free weights in the gym, and I have enough doorstops — but they got me about as close as I was going to get, by convincing me maybe there was something to see in here that I hadn’t already looked at a thousand times. Mission accomplished, I think.
Just in case you were wondering…
… Lady Gaga is now dressing like an ottoman in Paris Hilton’s walk-in closet.
Who DOESN’T go out for dinner dressed like a blind bondage enthusiast who’s recently been awarded a minor belt by the nice people at the World Wrestling Whatever It’s Call Now?
NOTHING is more polite to your fellow dinners, also, than sticking your nipple right into their eye-line when they’re just trying to eat their Caesar salad in freaking peace. And nothing is more fun for YOU, the diner/wrestler, than getting to look down at your stomach being bisected by electrical tape just when the dessert tray comes around. TRULY, this is what fine-dining looks like!
SOMEONE is unhappy that no one’s been paying much attention to her lately. Either that, or she ALWAYS shows up at LAX like this. Actually, it’s probably both.