Fugger: Lady Gaga

Bad Fugmance

May 24, 2011 By Heather AT 1:00 pm
Gaga
GagaGagaGagaGaga
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You know, somewhere, there is a convent that would love to have this woman. Sure, it’s run by people who put absinthe on their corn flakes and promise their spiritually recreated virginities to a man with a handlebar mustache named Baron von Slapp, but listen, isn’t any embrace a welcome one?

Also, while I’m on the Lady Blahblah subject, I have questions about her SNL performance. Drop by the last slide and we can talk.

[Photos: Pacific Coast News]

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Born Fug Way

May 17, 2011 By Heather AT 8:00 am

Oh, Lady BlahBlah. When you used Diet Coke cans as curlers, I laughed and thought, “There is a kindred spirit.” When you wore a meat dress, I thought, “I may never eat steak again.” But I did. So we got through it. But this:

I don’t care that you’ve given yourself lace bangs, or that you have pearls glued to your nails. And I also don’t care that, for once, I can’t see the intricacies of your pelvis. Any credit you might’ve gotten for that is GONE, because you went a step too far this time.

your accessories are a crime

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Born This Fug

May 9, 2011 By Heather AT 1:00 pm

Nicki Minaj. Katy Perry. Jessie J. Scores of people overshadowing her, criticism over her new single, and the fact that her people ALLEGEDLY put a stop to a Weird Al parody f one of her songs. What’s a poor, beleaguered, mid-backlash Gaga to do?

It should be no surprise to you that the answer is, “Dress like a novelty condom.” And it should be even LESS surprise to you that the OTHER answer is extremely not-safe-for-work.

click if you dare

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Fug Madness 2011: Final Four, Game Two

Mar 31, 2011 By Heather AT 11:00 am

(1) LADY GAGA vs. (6) MISCHA BARTON

This matchup really encapsulates the battle of two different fugs — and yet I contend they’re not actually that different after all. Yes, Mischa probably thinks she looks good in all her clothes, without an accompanying statement. But just because Lady Gaga barfs up a lofty reason for all her attention-whoring — namely, that it’s art — it doesn’t mean she doesn’t also think she looks really awesome. In fact, I’d venture that she for sure thinks she is rocking our world. To me, the bottom line is, fug is fug is fug, whether you’re wearing it because you think it’s art or because you think it’s artful. But that’s just my opinion, and I always enjoy when our readers duke out their points of view in the comments. This should be a brisk debate. Bring it, Fug Nation. Certainly these two deserve whatever you sling at them about their outfits.

I think one big reason Gaga ultimately downed Nicki Minaj is how damn dour she is. Nicki’s cheerful craziness elevates some of her hideous clothes into something I can feel affection for, whereas Gaga just seems like she’s having a miserable time.

And who can blame her? She’s in Milan, spending all her time dressed as a dominatrix bride. I’m sure that’s not fun to do, nor to be around — I mean, would you want to hang out with this person? It’s like, “Oh, great, Gaga has to use the bathroom. We’re not getting out of here for another half-hour AND she’s going to need me to buckle her panties.”

I’m not sure I’d want to hang out with this, either:

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Fug Madness 2011, Elite Eight: Bjork Bracket

Mar 29, 2011 By Heather AT 9:00 am

(1) LADY GAGA vs. (2) NICKI MINAJ

Apparently, yesterday, Lady Gaga turned twenty-five. I wonder if a quarter-life crisis can explain this.

Like, she cracked under pressure of all that’s come before, and wants to be reborn as something different. Or, she’s a huge David Blaine fan. Suddenly I’m rooting for them to hook up. LaDavid Blaiga would be my new favorite couple, and as an added bonus, he might make her disappear.

Because she’s so exhausting. I mean, who wears this to go shopping?

for your consideration

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Fug Madness 2011, Sweet Sixteen: Bjork Bracket, Part II

Mar 25, 2011 By Heather AT 10:00 am

(1) LADY GAGA vs. (5) PAZ DE LA HUERTA

You know, something about this coupling seems right.

Poor Paz. After seeing this photo, it’s no wonder she just got booked for a drunken bar brawl. Any regular visitor to this site will not be unfamiliar with combination of questionably sober facial expressions and questionably sober clothing choices. Like, say, this one:

Why, yes, those DO appear to be pants that are half-tights. She is Paz de la Hose-ta.

She is also Paz de la Hair-ta: we’re Pun City up in here

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