Fugger: Leona Lewis

Fine or Fab: Leona Lewis

Sep 8, 2011 By Heather AT 11:00 am

Thank you, universe. Not long ago, after the display Leona Lewis put on in her own creations, some retailer would’ve handed her a check for millions to design mass-produced boob-lips and tube tops. Mercifully, although 2011 has been a brutish year for almost everyone I know, we were NOT subjected to that travesty and so Leona seems to have moved on:

I love that her face now looks again like it is a real face, and her make up is good, and the red bag and shoes and lippy are a great way to liven up a white dress. But do I really want her to liven up THIS white dress?

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Fug Madness 2011, Sweet Sixteen: Madonna Bracket

Mar 24, 2011 By Heather AT 12:00 pm

(2) MILEY CYRUS vs. (3) LEONA LEWIS

Damn, this one is going to be INTENSE. I kind of wish we could corral these two ladies and make them have a motherf’ing walk-off. Since we can’t, let’s just approximate it instead. Let’s start with the big guns.

On the left, we have Ms. Cyrus, sporting a dress she may well be wearing backward. Her boobs look like volleyballs stuffed in one of those mesh bags after P.E. class. Whereas Leona is wearing lips. Her chest could actually nurse itself.

Here, Miley is preparing to referee a bout of Foxy Boxing, and Leona is there to sing the national anthem, with chains as gallantly streaming as our broad stripes and bright stars.

It gets better. By which I mean worse

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Fug Madness Round Two, Madonna Bracket

Mar 21, 2011 By Jessica AT 12:00 pm

(3) LEONA LEWIS vs. (6) FLORENCE WELCH

Since we saw a lot of Leona’s CRAZED and CRACKED OUT Out and About looks in her last game, let’s take a look at her on stage for this one:

That’s like what would happen if she somehow got cast in a gender-bending version of Phantom of the Opera. Which, now that I’ve thought of this, I NEED it to happen. Bieber can be Christine! He seems like the sort to get dragged down to someone’s basement/lake lair and secretly kind of like it.

This is what she’d wear if…I was going to say, “she got cast in a musical about 80s hair metal,” but I guess the real end of that sentence is, “if she ends up in Rock of Ages.”

LOOK!

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A Moment Like Fug

Mar 21, 2011 By Jessica AT 8:00 am

Obscure Fashion Rule Number One:

1) If the bangs on your dress are fighting with the ones on your face, at least one set has to go.

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Fug Madness 2011, Round One: Madonna Bracket

Mar 17, 2011 By Jessica AT 11:00 am

FIRST, some housekeeping: Some of you are having issues with the polls working correctly! Please know that our tech dudes are working on it, but we have stumbled upon something that may help, if you find the polls coming up “closed” or if they seem to think you have already voted and you haven’t: apparently, if you comment on the post, the system will then let you vote? Clearly this is a bug, and we promise we’re at work on it, BUT that might work while we’re waiting. Plus, don’t you want to talk anyway? YOU KNOW YOU DO. ANYWAY: hopefully, you will have no technical problems as you vote on THE FOLLOWING:

(6) FLORENCE WELCH v. (11) KRISTEN STEWART

Don’t ask me why we weren’t paying closer attention to Florence Welch — or, as I’ve started thinking of her, FloWel (Flow Well?) — throughout the year. Because she is a CONTENDER:

A contender who never met a sheer overskirt that she didn’t fall MADLY in love with. Don’t believe me?

YOU SHOULD:

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Non-Grammys Fug Carpet: Leona Lewis

Feb 17, 2011 By Heather AT 7:00 am
Leona Lewis
Leona LewisLeona LewisLeona Lewis
4 photos in gallery

After all that hullaballoo about Leona Lewis following up The Lips and The Bow by designing her own Grammy outfit, it would appear that Leona was being overly optimistic, because she did not attend the Grammys — although she did show up at some of the pre-parties. So we do have something with which to work here, and even if it’s not as exciting as tube tops in the shape of body parts, it’s still not super attractive. Hunker down and let’s check out what she did.

Fug file: Photos, WTF,
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