Fugger: Madonna

Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Black and White and WTF All Over


As more and more pictures rolled in, I finally snapped and e-mailed Jessica, “EVERYONE NAKED AND DUMB AT THIS THING.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Met Gala Well Played, Madonna


First of all, allow me to state the obvious:

Namely, that THIS IS INSANE. If she popped up wearing this at, say, her daughter’s high school graduation or the premiere of The Great Gatsby, I have no doubt that my face would probably explode. Right off my head, it would explode. But the theme of the Met Gala this year was “PUNK: From Chaos to Couture.” And — as you will see today — a LOT of people sort of weaseled out of actually wearing anything punk-esque. So it was totally awesome to see Madonna pop up OWNING IT. Like, please. She, of all people, is not scared of looking a little (a lot) punk. Honestly, this is kind of how I like to imagine Madonna all the time.  I like to think that this is what Madonna wears when she’s making pancakes or vacuuming [edited to add: AND SO IT IS] or rummaging around in her compost heap or yelling at Guy Richie on the phone about something or secretly following Sean Penn around Haiti. This is exactly what I want from Madonna, and for once, it’s ALSO totally thematically appropriate. Everybody wins!

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug and HA: Madonna’s MDNA Tour


Madonna and I share a birthday. And obviously every other sensibility as well.

[Photos: WENN]

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Fugdonna


There is good news.

See? Madonna’s hair looks very good (if also possibly synthetic, but expensively so, AHEM, TAYLOR MOMSEN), and her eyes are still gorgeous. And I like that lip color. And… are those skull-and-crossbones earrings? Well played, Esther. Slow clap. It takes a ballsy lady to pair a giant religious emblem with not one but TWO bejewelled symbols for poison.

Indeed, perhaps it portends what’s to come, somehow:

spoiler: she expresses herself

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Super Bowl Halftime Show, Madonna-ly Played: Madonna


Honestly, I feel like this could have been TERRIBLE. And yet it was kind of entertaining, not only because Madge closed this thing with “Like a Prayer,” which is possibly my favorite Madonna song ever. Although I also love “Express Yourself.” And who doesn’t have fond memories of roller-skating to “Material Girl,” other than the many of you who were not born around the same time that I was? Although my fond memories are less about skating and more about clinging to the wall of the rink and screeching, “I LOVE THIS SONG” to my friend Cheri as she skated past.  What I’m saying, though, is that I don’t think any of us expect the Super Bowl halftime show to be a bastion of good taste and classy ensembles. Like, this is an event which is best known for Janet Jackson’s nipple shield — the more headdresses, the better. Let’s take a closer look.

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Fugdonna


Is it just me, or is Marchesa just getting lazy now?

I mean, come on — a toddler and a stapler could make those things. She looks like pre-school performance art of a thunderstorm.

And that’s WITH a sleeve wrangler:

what’s the hourly on that?

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