That’s right, the Oscars are SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY. (Yes, it’s like the Monster Truck Rally of awards shows.) Let’s take a look at what the Best Actress nominees have worn out and about this year and try and guess who will wear what on Sunday — and who will look best and worst. SPECULATION! It’s what’s for lunch.
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Well, THIS is a new look for her:
I like it. It’s girly as hell, but it gives me hope that, if she’s popping up at a French film premiere in a giant pink ballgown, Oscar Sunday might not be as mumsy as we all have feared.
Does it seem too on the nose that Michelle Williams is wearing a dress with rain clouds on it, and that her dress is softly, beautifully, weeping?
I think it should be a requirement for each nominee at every luncheon henceforth that they wear an ensemble that speaks to their public image directly. Michelle is sweet and fragile and sad. If it were Angelina Jolie, she’d have to wear a dress with the face of each of her children silk-screened onto it and Jennifer Aniston’s mug printed right on her ass — so she can sit on her, you get it. Meryl Streep would wear a print that says, over and over again, “I DON’T CARE.” Julia Roberts would have to wear a giant set of teeth on a chain. I like this plan. This luncheon needs a little costume party action to liven it up.
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This probably would have been a Well Played, had she just chopped off her legs at the ankles and trotted around like a double peg-legged pirate. What, you think I’m exaggerating? Maybe. But the shoes she chose were the footwear equivalent of bloody stumps, to me, and it derailed this whole train. Like Dementors attacking the Hogwarts Express, but less chilly and with fewer hoodies.
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Well Played, Michelle Williams
It’s black and white again, sure, but I’m with her.
I am maybe bothered a HAIR by the white-ringed arms, but only a hair. The general simplicity with the gentle folds at the skirt looks very cute on her, and she seems happy and even a bit more relaxed than normal — as if Viola Davis winning all the run-up awards has taken the pressure off, and she can chill out and enjoy it and not have to worry about wiping sweaty palms on a scratchy linen dinner napkin. One might argue that’s because here, she glued a softer napkin substitute to her waist, but that one is not me: I think it’s pretty on her, and I’m just relieved every time I see her looking genuinely happy, because the slideshow we did for Vulture reminded me how rare that’s been since Heath Ledger died. Sniffle. Turns out I’m a softie on Oscar weekend.
[Photo: Getty]
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