69Also known as: we’re wrapping up Met Gala coverage, finally. Also known as: cleaning out my lightbox. Also known as: here’s a bunch of people I couldn’t figure out how to group together in a thoughtful way, so I’m just going to pile them on you haphazardly ENJOY!!!! (Actually, a lot of these are secretly great.)
[Photos: Getty]
The pre-Oscars parties are getting weirder and weirder and more and more specific.
[Photos: Getty]
Quick question: Has Justin Theroux ALWAYS been so tan, or can we blame the influence of Aniston? Also: Drew Barrymore, post-baby. Also: other people.
So, this was the scene on more than one occasion when Ryan Seacrest got the Charlie’s Angels cast up there with him:
RYAN: [Insert benign question here]
RACHAEL TAYLOR: [Insert gregarious answer here in which she attempts to banter a little and appears animated]
MINKA KELLY: What she said.
ANNIE ILONZEH: Also what she said.
RYAN: [Insert another benign question here]
RACHAEL TAYLOR: [Insert another gregarious answer here in which she attempts to banter a little and appears animated]
MINKA KELLY: Yep.
ANNIE ILONZEH: Yep.
Now, look. I also find it irritating when everyone zeroes in on a mostly female set and tries to sniff out catfights and scandals. Nobody does that on dude-centric sets. But half the time, this happens because those women are instructed (I assume) to tell everyone from the get-go that they love each other, and they’re like family, and they’re besties. When half the time, that’s not true — I mean, there is nothing in the contract that says you have to like all your coworkers and want to go full Friends with them. It’s fine. Who cares? But because the bar has been set BY THE SHOW at “We love each other forever and I will take a bullet for these women,” it makes us interested to find out whether that’s all an act. And in this case, the girls had JUST been giving the lovey-dovey spiel not long before the Emmys, and then they showed up on-camera for E and the best job they could do in promoting their new show, and their alleged camaraderie, was for one of them to do all the talking and the other two to stand there looking like Rachael Taylor had made them eat lark’s vomit. Aren’t you actors? Can’t you, I don’t know, act like you’re happy to be there? Is your show that bad? Wait, don’t answer that, I think I know. Also, I apologize to the ladies, because if there ARE issues on that set, and any of them read this, then this won’t help. But I assume they’re way too busy running away from explosions to read this. And rightly.
All of which has nothing to do with what they wore, though, so let’s get to that issue immediately. Also, for those of you who need it, there is bonus Coach Taylor in here. Because I love you.
This must either be a promotional piece, or one of those slow-mo hero shots in the Charlie’s Angels pilot where the three hot girls in their matching white dresses come trotting out of a hotel while a wind machine blows their hair. Blah blah blah. What I really want to know is whether we think any of these people look good in their dresses. Rachael Taylor — whom you might recognize right now as Callie’s OB on Grey’s Anatomy — looks slim and awesome of leg, to be sure, but also like an unmade bed. That angle on Minka Kelly makes her look droopy. Annie Ilonzeh fared the best, despite getting YSLs instead of the uber-trendy Louboutins, but her top ALSO kind of looks like she left the Do Not Disturb sign on her hotel room all day. I don’t know. Is this a glamorous-enough glamour shot?
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@blueofthebay you don't know my life!!!!!!!!!!! (I am not.) - J
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Fugs and Fabs: The FOX Upfronts
We need to talk about the FOX shows. Well, I haven’t watched the comedy clips yet, but the dramas… I can’t tell if they’re a steaming pile of awful or secretly so hate-watchably amazing that it becomes love-watching. Almost Human stars Karl Urban and Michael Ealy and LILI TAYLOR WHY ARE YOU THERE, and here is my run-on sentence summary: It’s set in a world where cops have cyborg partners, but Karl doesn’t care for this, see, because he’s been asleep for two years (?) and doesn’t have anyone around him like Ironside does to shout things like “DAMMIT, MAN, WE HAVE PROCEDURES TO BE FOLLOWED,” so he crankily throws his cyborg out of the car and it gets run over by a semi and then a “defective” old-model detective is assigned to him, and it’s Ealy, and he says things like “I WAS MADE TO FEEL,” and a grudging-respect is born and also probably some conspiracy hooey. Urban looks like he’s phoning it in so hard and so long that his roaming charges will be astronomical. Cramazing.
And yada-yada Greg Kinnear in Rake as a ne’er-do-well (not a gardening tool, though the latter might inspire Emmy voters more) is zzzzzz, AND THEN. Sleepy Hollow has to be seen to be believed. It’s like Thor (Olde-Tymey Ichabod Crane comes back to life in modern America; makes wry comments about how many Starbucks we have and whether the black cops have all been emancipated, because slavery jokes are a treasure) meets National Treasure: Book of Horsemen (“THE ANSWERS ARE IN WASHINGTON’S BIBLE, ICHABOD! ICHABOOOOOOD!!!!!”) and even includes a moment when the cops shout “PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD… oh, wait” and ends with the slogan “Heads. Will. Roll.” As Stefon would say, “It. Has. Everything.” As I would say, “It. Is. Hilarrible.” I’m virtually certain I will watch. Then again, I said that when The Cape‘s hilarrible promo came out a few years ago, and I only made it through an episode and a half.
[Photos: Getty]
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