You know what? I really don’t know how she does it.
And by “it,” I mean, “uses the bathroom without irrevocably soiling the tulle ponytail coming out of her tailbone.” Because even if you scoop it up in your arms, eventually it has to go back to the floor, and therein lies the cesspool sometimes. If you’re thinking perhaps this post means I’ve used too many public bathrooms this week, you are RIGHT. Excuse me while I reapply my hand sanitizer.
We recently featured Olivia Palermo — whom we used to call Tragic P, for reasons I’ll explain in a second — in a very loud blue jumpsuit, and the reaction was a combination of “Egads” and “Somehow I can’t hate this on her,” on the theory that Olivia pulls off stuff that a lot of people couldn’t. Now, for those of you in need of an Olivia Palermo primer: She is an ex-socialite type who, for the ten minutes that Socialite Rank was a thing, caused a stir when the site claimed she’d written a letter to the major ranking socialites begging them to accept her. Then she got onto The City and was portrated as a shallow, unprofessional dimwit with an uncanny ability to accessorize. Now, I have no idea how much of ANY of that is true, EXCEPT the accessorizing thing. Girlfriend is aces at that. And frankly, given the choice between Olivia and the entire cast of Jersey Shore or any of those abhorrent housewives, I’d rather spotlight her quasi-fame simply because she makes very expensively interesting choices. And red-carpet fashion is nothing if not expensively interesting, right? Dive in with me.
Jessica and I have a safe word, of sorts, when we’re starting to complain to each other about the same old stuff. When we catch ourselves rehashing the same grievances that just get us worked up into a tired and cranky frenzy, we just look at each other and exhale and say, “Altoids,” and that covers it. Our mind meld is such that we have expanded it so that it basically says everything about anything, without either of us having to find the appropriate words. So I find it interesting that Altoids co-sponsored this event…
… because: Altoids. So much Altoids.
@thebestjasmine I want to high five her - J
6 photos in gallery
Cannes Fugs and Fabs: The amfAR Gala
I was all het up about Cannes juror Nicole Kidman not being at this (or at that may other things), but it turns out she was, and just may not have done the red carpet. I’ve decided this is because she’s been holed up all day in a darkened room watching every Cannes movie and flossing popcorn out of her teeth.
[Photos: Bauer-Griffin, WENN, Splash]
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