PATRICIA ARQUETTE: Why do we even come to these things?
THOMAS JANE: Well, I’m NOMINATED, Patty. God. Don’t you EVER listen to me? But I hear you: We do always look so miserable.
PATRICIA: And you’re wearing brown shoes with a black suit. A terrible black suit. With a black bow tie. And a black shirt. Ridiculous.
THOMAS: Me? ME ridiculous? Have you SEEN YOU, Patricia? Have you? HAVE YOU LOOKED IN A MIRROR?
PATRICIA: God. Enough histrionics. I think wearing something that artfully conceals rain, thanks to its hacky Chico’s-Kind-of-Day pattern, last seen on a smart little coat modeled by Michael Phelps’s mother, is kind of brilliant, ACTUALLY.
THOMAS: That Phelps reference is like two years too old.
PATRICIA: Shut up. I’m having a relapse of Olympic fever, brought on by standing out in the rain. Rain that is apparently so MAGICAL that it requires YOU to wear your SUNGLASSES.
THOMAS: Yeah, well, your make-up appears to have washed off.
PATRICIA: You…shoot. I’m out of insults. I blew my wad by enumerating all the flaws with your outfit in one fell swoop.
THOMAS: Rookie mistake, kid.
PATRICIA: Let’s go find the bar.
@VladaGelman How is Top of the Rock? - J
Fug Madness 2010, Round One: Madonna Bracket
(6) MADONNA vs. (11) MELODY THORNTON
I can’t decide where the heck I think Madonna is going.
If I had to guess, I’d say she’s on her way to a yacht owned by the Mother Superior of an incredibly old Italian convent, who also happens to be the nation’s leading authority on granny panties. But it’s as likely she’s being thrown in a dank underground brig for crimes against fabric. I’m pretty sure we would’ve had to watch a telethon about that, though.
It may seem unfair to pit poor little semi-anonymous Melody Thornton of the Pussycat Dolls against a musical force of nature like Madonna, but they have more in common than you might think:
Read More
react: