Fugger: Reese Witherspoon

Fug or Fine: Reese Witherspoon and Matthew McConaughey


I love this photo.

It says, to me, “Huh. News of the DUI and disorderly conduct thing has GOT to come out any second now. Right? When is THAT happening? Is someone going to ask me about it now? Is it going to break during this event and then suddenly everyone at the party will be staring at me and snickering while they look at TMZ on their phones? WHY did I yell at that cop? Isn’t the first rule of being a celebrity ‘Don’t Be A Douche When You Get Busted For Doing Something Dumb and Illegal and Dangerous, Because Nothing You Say Will Stop It From Happening, But Being Awful Means You’ll Just Look Nasty and Deluded and Have To Apologize? Is that too long to get stamped on my wrist?”

And now for the outfits.

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Oscars Fug or Fab Carpet: Reese Witherspoon


This may surprise a lot of people, but I ended up going the reverse direction I normally do: In the beginning, I liked this, but the more I stared at it the more it lost me.

The hair is lovely, sure. I vacillate between thinking the bodice is appropriately sexy/snug, and perhaps sitting too low. But mostly my objection is the skirt. It’s… unconvincing. Heavy. Possibly bored of itself. It’s the Twilight movies of skirts: hoping desperately that you’ll be too distracted by the shiny hair and the pretty and the sparkle to notice that everything else is phoning it in.

Here is where you get to tell me that I'm a dangerous lunatic.

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[Photo: Getty]

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Fug the Show: Guests on Jimmy Kimmel Sucks, hosted by Matt Damon


Nicole Kidman is, in this moment, wincing. And that’s EXACTLY what I did every time this outfit appeared on my screen.

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Fugs and Fines of the 7th Annual March of Dimes Celebration of Babies


Aw, who doesn’t want to celebrate babies? Although I would rather celebrate babies with cocktails on the lanai rather than at a luncheon, but I guess the March of Dimes (as someone who has snuggled many kids who arrived a bit earlier than they were supposed to, a cause of which I am very fond) can’t really be all like, “come over and DRINK IT UP, GUYS. WHOOOO BABIES.”

In other words, this is REALLY an event where the celebs in question got on the horn with their stylists and said something along the lines of, “no, seriously, I really do need to look tasteful.” The good news is, most of them pulled it off.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Reese Witherspoon


Well, it’s undeniable that Reese is looking damn good after just having a baby. In fact, she looks damn good even by the standards of NOT having just had a baby.

But I’m not sure about the Charlie Brown details on her chest. Surely nobody wants her breasts associated with existential futility.

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[Photo: Getty]

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Well Played, Reese Witherspoon


Reese Witherspoon is one of those celebrities, like Angelina Jolie, who I think should be pregnant all the time because she looks great that way. Not that she doesn’t look great otherwise, but she just wears it so well.

I mean. What a dish. In fact, it reminds me faintly of one of my all-time favorite Angelina Jolie dresses, when she was ripe with Knox and Vivienne and dazzled everyone in green – also at Cannes, actually. On the one hand, I’m surprised all these pregnant ladies are willing to spend so much time in France — so much delicious cheese and wine they aren’t supposed to eat! — but on the other, how awesome when you can show your future child these pictures and be like, “See all these desperate models showing off their thongs? You and I looked better than ALL OF THEM.”

[Photos: Getty]

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