Closing the Fug

“I can’t f’ing believe this,”  thought Mischa Barton (formerly Missing Mischa Barton. I wondered where she was, and she popped up right in front of me. If only I could make that happen with Patrick Dempsey, or sandwiches). “I had no idea when I signed that lucrative Keds endorsement contract that I would be reduced to THIS:”

“Standing around, holding a shoe. Like a CAR SHOW MODEL. But with shoes.  Wearing high-heeled Keds, like someone who’s had some kind of head injury. I am a SERIOUS ACTRESS. I’m in a movie about the faux-lesbian Russian one-hit wonder duo tATu, for pete’s sake. I hate being here.  I hate everyone.”