Daisy Fug

Jessica Simpson woke up this morning and took a long hard look at her wardrobe.

“I don’t like any of this,” she said. “I hate all my designer clothing. I hate all my jeans. I hate everything that fits. I loathe anything in here that looks even vaguely clean.” She was silent for a long, long, long, long, long, long moment. Thinking.

At last! “I know what I need to do,” she announced to the small, yappy, fluffy dog at her feet.

“I need to go Federline.”